Journey
by melohdramatic
Summary: Angel embarks on a journey of raising his son, bringing him closer to love and humanity than ever before. OMG! An update! FINALLY, after 6 months! Added Ch. 19 on December 28th... R/R
1. Birth, Legalities, and School

Title: Journey  
  
Author: Melohdramatic  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Author's Notes: I got the idea to write this after the airing of "Billy". Everything that's happened on Angel from Season One to the end of "Lullaby" happens in this story. What goes on in the show after "Lullaby" won't be added into this story unless I see fit to add it later.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the way Angel's child turns out.  
  
Summary: After the birth of his son, Angel comes closer to humanity and love than ever before.  
  
-----  
  
"Okay, let's fix your shirt." Cordelia Chase said as she helped him into the sleeves of his plaid button-down. She began to button the shirt, when she noticed a stray hair sticking up on his hand. Not thinking twice, she licked her hand, and leaned in to smooth the hair into place.  
  
"Cordy!!" He whined, trying to pull away but failing miserably. "Stop it!"  
  
"Hold still, okay? I've almost got it." She finally got the hair into place after a few more seconds. "There. Now, that wasn't so bad, wasn't?" Before letting him answer, she went on. "Hand me the backpack."  
  
As she began to settle the backpack on his small shoulders, she asked, "Are you nervous, demon child? It IS your first day of Kindergarten, after all."  
  
"Don't call me that, Cordy!" He pouted. "I'll tell my Daddy on you."  
  
"Oh yeah? And what'll he do?" She taunted, continuing to ready the boy for school.  
  
"Well, he'll fire you, of course."  
  
"Fire me? Are you kidding? Think about it, Journey. I'm Vision Girl. He can't fire me. He NEEDS me."  
  
"Oh, man! You suck."  
  
"Journey!" Cordy scolded. "Don't say 'suck'." She stood up and took him by the hand. "Okay, off to school now. To the Angel-mobile!" She exclaimed, taking the young Angel outside the hotel and to Angel's convertible. After buckling him and getting behind the wheel, she asked, "Hey, what are you supposed to say when they ask what you're pouring into your milk at lunch?"  
  
"Black cherry syrup." Journey repeated.  
  
"Correct. And what do you say if they ask to have some?"  
  
"Um.. 'Sorry, but I can't. My daddy told me not to.'"  
  
"Good job, kiddo." Cordelia praised and continued to ask questions as she drove the six blocks to the school. She pulled into a parking spot nearest the playground and got out. She walked over to the passenger side and helped Journey out of the car. "Okay, take my hand, and I'll take you to your teacher."  
  
But Journey shook his head. "I'd like to do this by myself, if you don't mind, Cordy."  
  
She knelt and looked straight into his eyes. "Are you sure, J? Cause I can walk you over there, no problem."  
  
"No. I want to do it alone. I'll be okay." He reached out and hugged her. "This is where we go our separate ways."  
  
  
  
Cordy squeezed him tight. "All right, J. I'll see you after school. Don't-"  
  
"Don't get into anyone else's car unless you're the one driving it." Journey finished. "Now, show me who's my teacher and where to walk." After Cordelia showed him, Journey turned and began walking. "Bye Cordelia!" He called back over his shoulder. "I love you."  
  
Cordy smiled. "I love you too." She watched him walk over to his teacher, who sent him of to play on the playground. Cordelia followed his every move with her eyes. She knew she should be getting back, but she just couldn't bring herself to leave Journey in a strange place.  
  
Journey, always a friendly kid, walked his little backpacked self to the nearest group of boys. And as she watched him converse with the boys, she felt herself being pulled back in time to the very start of Journey's young life.  
  
~~~  
  
*I still remember the night he came into the world--to us-- with startling clarity. We were unsure of what to do, what to think. And for a while there, we weren't even sure if he was going to be born after all. I remember that after escaping a burning Caritas, I had gone with Wesley, Lorne, and Gunn to get Angel's car, so I wasn't there for the actual birth. But when we pulled up in front of the alley, and I saw the lack of Darla and the bundle in Angel's arms, I knew he'd come to us.  
  
That night, when Angel held his son in his arms(after we'd rescued him from Holtz, of course), I'll never forget the look on his face. His eyes lit up, a smile filled his face. He looked so happy-overjoyed, even. Though, not happy in a "I'm going to bite you" sort of way; it was more like he was past that. He was genuinely happy, with no consequences. No turning into Angelus, no going schizo, nothing. It was like they were finally(finally!) allowing him to be happy.  
  
All of us were mooning over the baby at the time, that I don't think that many of us realized that Darla was finally dead. Of course, Angel knew. He wasn't totally upset by the fact that she was gone, as her vampire death finally shut that door to his past, but you could tell that her vamp death had affected him. We took the baby home to the headquarters, and we all stayed there that night, watching over him. At some point, someone(I believe it was Fred) asked what Angel was going to name it.*  
  
Angel looked down at the baby cradled in his arms. "I don't really know.. I haven't really thought about it." He looked around at his friends. "Any suggestions?"  
  
"OH my God!" Cordelia said loudly, grabbing her head and beginning to slip into vision-mode.  
  
"Cordy!" Angel exclaimed, reaching for her, and startling the baby, who started to cry.  
  
Cordelia didn't feel Angel and Wesley helping her to a nearby chair. She was enthralled in what she was being shown. She saw such good things to become of this baby. He was destined to do so much good, to ease so much pain. But the vision told her that it wasn't going to be an easy battle; that he'd have a long journey ahead of him. Like his father. And Cordy was struck with inspiration.  
  
"What'd you see?" Wesley asked over the loud wail of the baby.  
  
Cordelia ignored him. "Angel.. let me hold him."  
  
"Cordelia," Angel began, while trying unsuccessfully to stop the baby's cries. "What did you see?"  
  
"Just hand me the kid." Cordelia demanded. "I made him cry, and I'll make him stop."  
  
Angel looked at Wesley and Gunn, who shrugged their shoulders. "Okay." He placed the child in Cordelia's arms, and immediately, the wailing ceased. Angel's jaw dropped. "How did you-?"  
  
Cordelia smiled softly as the baby went back to sleep. "His name should be Journey."  
  
"Journey?" Angel asked, as he stepped behind Cordelia to look over her shoulder at his son. He seemed to mull it over in his head before repeating, "Baby Journey."  
  
~~~  
  
*And then there was the whole birth certificate caper.*  
  
"Let's see." Wesley said, looking over the birth certificate in his hands. "We have almost everything needed. All that's left is for Angel to pick out a surname for Journey and for the parents to sign it." Wesley looked up. "You could use your human surname, Angel, although it'd probably be archaic."  
  
"No. I'd rather him not have my name. I don't need another reminder of what I used to be." Angel handed Journey to Cordelia and walked over to Wesley. "I'll have to think about the name thing. But I could go ahead and sign it and someone can forge Darla's signature."  
  
Wesley began to hand the birth certificate, which they'd had signed by a half demon doctor and nurse, to Angel. Then, he stopped. "Wait. You're dead."  
  
The room got silent. Finally, Gunn blurted out. "So, he's dead. You've known this for years, English. What else is new?"  
  
Wesley sighed. "What's new is that he can't sign a birth certificate. The unliving cannot have children, Gunn."  
  
"Oh." Gunn replied flatly. "Yeah, guess you're right."  
  
Angel shook his head sadly. "Now what are we supposed to do?"  
  
"Well, he has to have a birth certificate, Angel." Fred added.  
  
"There's got to be some way..." Cordelia trailed off softly, staring at the sleeping babe in her arms.  
  
Silence filled the room as they all turned their eyes to Journey. After a few minutes, Angel's eyes moved from his son to Cordelia. "There is."  
  
"There is what?" Cordy asked.  
  
"There is a way." Angel answered, crossing the room to be by her side.  
  
"And?" Cordy prompted.  
  
"You." Angel told her as he gently took his son from her.  
  
"Me? What are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm talking about you being Journey's mother---just on paper, of course."  
  
"I'm not following."  
  
"Listen, Cordelia," Wesley told her. "We'll write you down on the birth certificate as Journey's mother. But in reality, you'll be anything but. Angel accepts sole responsibility of Journey, though I'm sure we'll all help out from time to time."  
  
"Yes, exactly." Angel agreed. "And then, he'd have a surname-Chase. Journey Chase. Doesn't it have a nice ring to it?"  
  
Cordelia wrinkled her nose. "Not really."  
  
"Oh, come on, Cordy!"  
  
"Angel, Angel! Think about what you're saying. I'd have LEGAL CUSTODY of this child. Which means, though he's yours and you're going to take care of him, I can do whatever I want to him. I could make him wear girl clothes every day and there wouldn't be a thing you could do about it. I could move across country with him and you couldn't stop me. Because in a court of law, I'd be his mother. He'd be LEGALLY mine. Are you SURE you'd want to endanger this child like that?"  
  
"Dude, girl's gotta point." Gunn interjected.  
  
Angel looked at Cordelia for a few minutes. Finally, he said, "You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't do a thing to hurt Journey."  
  
"Wanna bet?" Cordy asked. "Obviously, you don't know me."  
  
"No, I DO know you. And that's how I know that you wouldn't harm this child in any way, shape, or form." Cordelia shifted her eyes from him and crossed her arms. He went on. "I'm right, aren't I?"  
  
Cordelia sighed. "Maybe."  
  
"And actually, you'd like to do this. You'd like to be Journey's legal guardian, wouldn't you?"  
  
Cordelia sighed again. "Maybe."  
  
"So you'll do it?" Angel waved the baby in front of her. "Oh, come on. You can't say no to this, can you?"  
  
Cordelia looked from father to son before responding, "Fine. I'll do it." And as an afterthought, she added, "But I'm only doing this because I want to make sure this boy gets some sunshine."  
  
Angel's face lit up with a smile. Well.. it lit up as much as an Angel smile would. "Thanks so much, Cordelia." On impulse, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. "You won't regret this."  
  
"God, I hope not." Cordelia breathed.  
  
* * *  
  
*Wow. When Angel kissed me, I didn't know what to think. It was odd-he'd never really hugged me that often and then, wham! A kiss on the cheek? I have to admit that I was a little stunned. sort of like I am NOW.*  
  
TBC 


	2. Vampires, Hell, and Mommy

Cordelia floated back to reality just in time to hear Journey yell, "Hey- STOP it!"  
  
Cordelia looked up in time to see some kids push Journey into the dirt. "Oh, my God." Her eyes flashed to the nearby teacher, who wasn't even paying attention. Cordelia started over there.  
  
She began to jog when they started to drag Journey around by his feet. Her jogging suddenly turned into a run when she saw something disturbing happen- Journey was vamping out.  
  
"Journey!" She cried out as she ran. She reached him and helped him to his feet within a minute. She saw the other kids scatter and though she desperately wanted to chase them down and kick their butts for being mean to a sweet kid like Journey, she let them go. There were bigger problems at the moment.  
  
"Journey, are you all right, sweetie?"  
  
He touched a hand to his dirtstained face and looked up at her with fear in his eyes. "Cordy, what's happened to me?"  
  
Cordy racked her brain for an answer, but all she could think about was getting him out of there. "Nothing's wrong with you, J. Come on. Let's go home."  
  
She picked him up as he protested. "But what about school?"  
  
Cordy shook her head dismissively. "School? What do you need school for? You're smart enough as it is."  
  
~~~  
  
"Angel! Good, you're home." Cordy said, walking into headquarters.  
  
"Hey.. you want to--" Angel turned around to see her, noticed Journey, and abruptly stopped. "Why isn't he in school?"  
  
Cordy smiled. "Well, that's actually a very long story."  
  
"Really?" Angel set down in a nearby chair. "Okay, let's hear it."  
  
Just then, Wesley stepped out of his office and into the foyer. He saw Cordy and Journey and clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "Cordelia!" He scolded. "You were supposed to take him to school and LEAVE him there. I thought we went through this."  
  
"No, you don't understand!" Cordy shook her head. "Okay, see, there were all these kids-"  
  
"And they threw me in the dirt, Daddy!" Journey interrupted.  
  
"No!" Angel exclaimed.  
  
"Yes!" Journey and Cordy responded in unison.  
  
"No way!" Angel said as Journey ran to him. Angel grabbed him and pulled him onto his lap. "Did they hurt you? What's their names?" He kissed Journey's forehead. "Goodness, Cordy, why didn't you wipe this dirt off his face?"  
  
"Because there was something that needed to be hid."  
  
"Hid? What are you talking about?"  
  
"Look at your child's face." Cordelia ordered. Angel only stared at her. Cordy exhaled loudly. "Look BEYOND the dirt."  
  
Angel looked from her to Journey. "Ookay." He looked at his son, trying to find some reason for the dirt to still be caking Journey's face. Peering closely, he noticed some bumps around his eyes and nose. "Close your eyes, J." Once Journey's eyes were closed, Angel began to gently wipe the dirt of Journey's face with his hand. As the dirt fell away, exposing Journey's vamped out face, Angel's eyes went wide and he nearly dropped his son. "Oh, my God."  
  
Wesley came closer to get a better look. "Oh, my. Angel, does he have. fangs?"  
  
Angel swallowed. "I don't know. Um.. smile for Daddy." He told Journey.  
  
Journey grinned, revealing two gleaming fangs along with his regular teeth.  
  
"I wonder if they're sharp." Cordelia said, stepping forward. She began to tentatively stick a finger in Journey's mouth to touch the fangs.  
  
"Cordy! What are you doing?" Angel asked, pulling Journey away from her.  
  
"Didn't you hear me? I'm gonna see if they're sharp."  
  
"You can't do that! If they really are sharp, it'll be his first taste of human blood."  
  
"Angel's right, Cordelia." Wesley interjected. "With his first taste, the bloodlust will begin."  
  
"So, what are you saying, exactly? That he's gonna bite me? And besides, Journey's not a confirmed vampire."  
  
"Not a confirmed vampire?" Wesley exclaimed. "Cordelia, would you just look at him?"  
  
Cordy glared at Wesley. "Talk about him like he's not right in front of you, Wesley!" Ignoring them both, she stuck her finger in Journey's mouth and felt of the smooth, sharp fangs. She let her finger slide over the tip of the fang before pulling her finger out. "Ouch!"  
  
"Cordelia?!" Angel asked, a concerned look coming over his face. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. It was just a bit.. fang-y." She examined her finger. "Look." She held it up for them to see. "It may be sharp, but it's not THAT sharp."  
  
Angel breathed a sigh of relief, glad that his son hadn't tasted human blood. He kissed Journey's cheek. "This is great!"  
  
"Yep!" Cordelia agreed. "Whoo hoo. He's not a full blood vampire!" She paused. "Wait-that didn't come out right."  
  
Wesley was quick to ruin their excitement. "Just because he's not a vampire doesn't mean anything. Look at him. He's certainly not human."  
  
Journey looked from his dad, to Wesley, and then to Cordelia. "What am I?" He asked in a scared voice.  
  
Cordelia looked him in the eye. "You're human, sweetheart. Totally human." She held out her arms and Journey moved into them. "Why don't we go upstairs and get ourselves a bath? We'll get the icky off you and then you can read a book and do everything a NORMAL boy does."  
  
Wesley walked out of the foyer, leaving behind Angel, who was watching Journey and Cordelia head upstairs. And as they almost disappeared from view, he heard Journey asked, "What do they mean I'm not human?"  
  
~~~  
  
Cordy ran the bathwater, added in some bubble bath, and helped Journey undress. He got into the tub, and she began to wash his face and hair. While she did this, Journey started to ask some questions.  
  
"Cordy?"  
  
"What, baby?"  
  
"Is there something wrong with you?"  
  
"No, no sweetheart. There's not a thing wrong with you."  
  
"Are you sure? Uncle Wesley made it seem like I'm something evil. Am I bad?"  
  
"No, you're not bad. Are you saying all this because of Uncle Wesley? Because if you are, don't worry about a thing he says. Uncle Wesley's going through a tough time right now, what with those twins in their terrible twos and threes, and he doesn't have a clue in his head what he's talking about." Cordelia told him. "You're not bad. And there is nothing wrong with you. You're just being who you are. Something you can't help or stop."  
  
Journey sighed and splashed half-heartedly. "Cordy, can I ask you something else?"  
  
"Sure, you can ask me anything, kid."  
  
"Who's my mother?"  
  
Cordelia was a bit speechless. "Um, what makes you ask this.. now?"  
  
"Well, those kids at school were asking me where my mother was and why didn't she bring me to school. But I told them that I didn't have a mommy and they told me I was lying. I guess they saw you and thought that." Journey paused. "Then, they told me I was a liar and I was going to hell for it. That's when they started pushing me. I just wanted to know about my mother, so that this," He pointed at his vamped out face, "won't happen again."  
  
"Talk to your daddy about it, okay?"  
  
"Okay. I got another question."  
  
"Shoot, kiddo."  
  
"What's hell?"  
  
Cordelia smiled. "You REALLY need to talk to your father about that one." She laughed. "Are you ready to get out?"  
  
"Yes." He stood up and Cordy wrapped a fluffy towel around him.  
  
Cordelia looked at his mess of wet hair and grabbed a comb to comb it. "Hey- you're vampy's gone."  
  
"My what?"  
  
"You're va-oh, never mind."  
  
"Hey, Cordelia?"  
  
"Yes, Journey?"  
  
"Can I call you Mommy?"  
  
Cordelia stopped combing his hair, shocked that he'd asked her that. "Um, well."  
  
"I was just think that since we've got the same last name and I don't have a mommy and you don't have a son.."  
  
"But. " 'You did have a Mommy,' Cordelia thought silently.  
  
Journey looked down at his feet. "I just want a mother. Is that so much to ask?"  
  
Cordelia felt so sad for him. Just looking at his sad little Angel face made her want to cry. "Come here." She said, softly embracing the boy in her arms. After a few seconds, she said, "I suppose it wouldn't hurt if you called me mommy. Just not around your father."  
  
Journey kissed Cordy's cheek. "Thanks, C."  
  
"No problem, kid. Now, go on down to your room and get dressed."  
  
"All right." Journey paused before adding on, "Mommy." Then he stepped away from Cordelia and headed to his room.  
  
TBC 


	3. Frankie, Love, and Caden

After checking on Journey a few minutes later, Cordelia wandered down the hall to Angel's room. She began to knock but saw the door was already ajar. She peered through the small opening and saw Angel, with his back to her, staring at the heavy drapes that were keeping the sunlight out of the room. She softly pushed the door open and stepped inside.  
  
He didn't even turn around before asking, "Is there something you need, Cor?"  
  
"No, not really." She came and sat beside him on his bed.  
  
"Where's Journey?"  
  
"He's in his room, all cleaned up. I left him on his bed reading 'Frankenstein'."  
  
"'Frankenstein'?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Cordelia, he's five years old. He's going to have nightmares."  
  
Cordelia shook her head. "No, he won't. He's a smart kid; he can distinguish fact from fiction. Besides, I thought he might could identify with ol' Frankie a bit."  
  
Angel chuckled. "Okay, but if he wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, I'm calling you."  
  
"Okay by me." Cordelia paused. "Answer a question?"  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Well, I was just wondering. what are we going to do?" Cordelia asked, resting her head on his shoulder. "Are we gonna send him back to school tomorrow?"  
  
"Probably not." Angel replied. "He could vamp out at any moment."  
  
"Angel, he's got to get an education."  
  
"He will. Fred can home school him. She's only been teaching him a few times a week since he was two and look how smart he is now. He's reading chapter books, and he knows his multiplication tables and sentence structure. He'll do better with Fred than with a teacher at school."  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right." Cordelia sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "So, is Journey not human now.. or?  
  
"I hope so." Angel mumbled.  
  
Cordelia hit him on the arm. "Did you just say, 'I hope so'?"  
  
"No." Angel responded quickly.  
  
"Angel.."  
  
"Cordelia."  
  
Cordelia stared intently at her old friend before asking, "Why don't you want your son to be human?"  
  
"It's not that I don't want him to be human; I do. I'd rather him be human than like me. I'd rather him be human than have to spend day after day battling to stay good."  
  
"Then, what is it, Angel?"  
  
Angel didn't say anything for a few minutes. "Well.. pretend you're me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just do it."  
  
"Okay." Cordelia sighed. "Pretending I'm you."  
  
"You died in the 1700s. Correct?"  
  
"Yes." Cordelia replied in a deep Angel-esque voice.  
  
"Cordelia!"  
  
"What? You said to pretend I'm you." She lowered her voice again. "Now, continue."  
  
"All right. You died in the 1700s. Yet you've lived all these years. Then, suddenly, and unexplainably, you're a father."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But you're a dead and never aging demon. While your son is alive and an ever aging human. And every time you look at him, you can't help but realize that someday." Angel looked away from Cordelia.  
  
"He'll look older than you," Cordelia finished softly.  
  
He turned towards her. "Do you know what it feels like to know that? That you're going to outlive your own son? To know that while you're son will grow up and get married and have children, who'll have children of their own, you'll still look the same? To know that you'll be forced to watch everyone around you die while you're just left to watch it happen, powerless to stop it. To know that when all is said and done, when the world has come to an end, you'll be the last man standing-all alone?"  
  
"No, Angel. I don't know how that feels. But Angel, you're forgetting about your 'shanshu'. One day you WILL be human."  
  
"Yeah, one day when everyone I know and love is dead and gone and where does that leave me-human and alone. I'll spend my human days depressed and suicidal, waiting for my inevitable death."  
  
"You make it sound as though you won't become human for hundreds of years. Angel, you'll become human long before that."  
  
Angel shook his head. "Cordelia, I have hundreds of years of wreaking havoc and torturing to make up for. Hundreds of years! You just don't make up for hundreds of years in a few short decades."  
  
"Angel, you're gonna get to be human before your son dies, before I die. Before Fred, Gunn, Wesley or the twins die too."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
"I know so." Cordelia responded as she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a hug. "Hang in there, Angel. You're doing good now and you'll get your reward soon enough."  
  
Cordelia stood up and headed for the door. "Where are you going?" Angel asked.  
  
"Well, I want to finish up the paperwork early so I can go home." She smiled. "I've got a date tonight."  
  
"A date? With who?"  
  
"His name's Caden Michaels. And he's a lawyer."  
  
"Not with Wolfram and Hart, I hope."  
  
"Oh, no. Goodness. I mean, I hope not, too."  
  
"You don't know?" Angel asked, alarmed.  
  
"Yes, I mean, I KNOW. It's just that your question made me think. Anyway, he's a lawyer for."  
  
"For what, Cor?"  
  
Cordelia smiled sheepishly. "You know, I'll have to get back to you on that." She paused, listening. "I think Fred and the twins are here."  
  
They looked at each other before replying in unison, "Journey will LOVE that."  
  
Angel smiled. "Try to keep Charlie and Milo away from Journey."  
  
"Yes, sir." She turned and walked out, closing the door behind her.  
  
TBC 


	4. Jealousy, Princesses, and a Marriage Pro...

With a kid to take care of, the years suddenly flew by for Angel. Before long, two years had passed, and nothing much had changed. Journey was older, and smarter than ever. Wesley and Fred were still raising their twins, Charlotte and Milo, all the while still working at Angel Investigations. Gunn worked more with his crew now, though he did work sometimes with Angel & Co. And then, there was Cordelia, who was now in love more than ever with her boyfriend, Caden Michaels. Too in love for her own good, or so Angel thought. Wes, Fred, and Gunn were all happy to see the resident seer in love.  
  
  
  
"Angel?" Cordelia called out one evening as she stepped into the Hyperion.  
  
Angel came out of the kitchen. "Cordelia? What are you doing here so late?"  
  
She threw her purse on a chair and rushed over to him as fast as her high heels would allow. "Guess what?" The excitement in her voice was overwhelming.  
  
"Is something wrong?" Angel went on. "Wow, you look beautiful. Did you have a vision?"  
  
"Angel, shh!" Cordelia reached him. "Listen to me. Guess what?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Caden proposed!"  
  
"He WHAT?"  
  
Cordelia smiled happily. "He proposed."  
  
Angel managed a very small smile. "That's.. great, Cordelia. Congratulations."  
  
She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. "Thanks."  
  
"So, did you say yes?" Angel asked, his mind racing.  
  
"Not yet." Cordy sighed and turned away from him. "I wanted to talk to you first."  
  
"Talk to me. why?"  
  
"Well, it's like this. Usually, a girl goes to her family when she gets asked this question and basically you're all the family I have, Angel."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes." Cordy walked over to a nearby chair and sat down. "So, I was wondering. Do you think Caden's the 'one' for me?"  
  
No! His mind screamed. Caden did seem like an all right guy, but there was just something about him. Something. dark. Finally, he asked, "Well, do you love him?"  
  
Cordy thought it over. "Yes, I do."  
  
"And does he love you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
Cordy's eyes took on a faraway look and it was apparent that she was really giving his question some thought. "Every time he sees me, his eyes light up and when he hugs me, he whispers 'I love you' in my ear. It always makes my spine tingle. He makes my heart beat faster and every time he holds my hand, I feel so completely happy. Just because he's holding my hand!" Cordy smiled and shook her head. "I know it sounds weird but he makes me feel that way. He makes me feel like a princess."  
  
"He should make you feel that way, Cor." Angel remarked softly.  
  
Silence settled between them. After a few minutes, Cordelia repeated, "Do you think he's the 'one' for me?"  
  
"I can only tell you what I think, but you should really listen to your heart on this one."  
  
"Well, thank you, Mr. Cryptic. Now, what do you think?"  
  
Angel sighed. "I think he could very well be the 'one'."  
  
"Thank you." Cordy stood up and grabbed her purse.  
  
"What are you going to do?" Angel asked, following her to the door.  
  
"I'm going to accept." Cordy stopped at the door and turned to face him. "Do me a favor?"  
  
"Anything, princess."  
  
"Could you walk me down the aisle on my wedding day? You know, give me away?"  
  
Angel didn't even have to think about it. "I'd be honored."  
  
* * *  
  
The next morning, Wesley entered the Hyperion to find Angel staring at the ceiling. "Angel?" He questioned.  
  
"Cordelia's getting married." Angel said flatly.  
  
Wesley walked to a nearby desk to set down his things. "Really? How extraordinarily wonderful for her." Wesley turned towards Angel. "Don't you think?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess."  
  
"You don't sound too happy about it." Wesley commented.  
  
"He's taking away our Cordelia. Why would I be happy about that?"  
  
"Well, for one, she was never 'our Cordelia'. She was 'your Cordelia'. And just because she's getting married doesn't mean she'll stop being that."  
  
Angel frowned. "It doesn't matter. Caden will keep her from working with us, and when she'll have visions, who'll be there to comfort her?"  
  
"Caden will be there." Wesley sighed. "Angel, I know that you love Cordelia and that you'd do anything for her, but you've got to accept the facts. Caden makes Cordelia happy. Don't you want to see her happy?"  
  
"Yes." Angel mumbled.  
  
"All right, then."  
  
"But what do we really know about this Caden? I've only met him once or twice. Who's to say he's not a demon? We can't let Cordelia marry a bloodsucking demon!!"  
  
"You're a bloodsucking demon. Are you saying that we shouldn't let Cordelia marry you?" Wesley walked over to Angel and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You've got to let her go, Angel. If you really love her, you'll let her go."  
  
Angel stood up abruptly. "I've got to get Journey up." Angel turned and walked upstairs.  
  
TBC 


	5. Journey, Floored, and Overreacting

Quick Note: Just want to say "Thanks" to those who've been reading and a SPECIAL "Thank You" to those who've read and left feedback. I thrive on feedback, so leave more, 'kay? Thanks for reading and if you have any questions or suggestions, let me know. Thanks. :)  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
Journey didn't find out until weeks later.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Journey, calm down." Angel told him firmly.  
  
"She-she can't do this!"  
  
"She can. She IS."  
  
"But, why? Doesn't she love us?"  
  
"Of course she does-"  
  
"Listen to me, DAD-you cannot let my mom marry someone else. There has got to be laws against this sort of thing."  
  
"Listen to me, SON. If she wants to marry him, she can. Nothing can stop her. And another thing, don't yell at me about it. If you've got a problem, take it up with Cordelia." Angel paused. "Wait-did you just call Cordy your mom??"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"Because why?" Angel asked. "She's not your REAL mother, you know."  
  
"That may be, but she's the only mother I ever had." Journey told him. "You've got to stop her from getting married." He shook his head. "How long until the wedding?"  
  
"It's Saturday." Angel slumped down on Journey's bed, defeated.  
  
"Saturday? SATURDAY??" Journey yelled. He took a deep breath and suddenly his face was full of spikes. Neither one took much notice-since that first time 2 years ago, Journey's face and transformed into a multitude of demons with little or no warning. "Why did you just tell me this NOW?"  
  
"J, calm down."  
  
"No." Spiky Journey began to pace. "We've got to think. I mean, we've only got four days.. less even."  
  
"Look, Journey, just forget about it. Why don't you go downstairs and play with Charlie and Milo?"  
  
"I will NOT play with that Charlie girl EVER. And Milo sits there and reads the whole time he's here. He wants to be smarter than me. " Journey paused. "My time is better spent here, thank you very much."  
  
"Okay, Charlotte and Milo can't help that their parents are Wesley and Fred." Angel tried to defend his five-year-old "niece" and "nephew". "And I'm telling you, just drop it. She'll marry Caden on Saturday."  
  
"No, she won't."  
  
"Yes, she will."  
  
"NO, she won't."  
  
"YES, she will."  
  
"No, she won't."  
  
"Yes, Journey, she will."  
  
"No, Angel, she won't."  
  
"Journey."  
  
"Angel."  
  
"If you don't stop this, you won't get to come to the wedding."  
  
"Doesn't matter, 'cause there won't BE one."  
  
"Will too."  
  
"Will not."  
  
"Will too."  
  
"Will not."  
  
"All right, that's it. Journey, you're floored."  
  
"Floored?" Journey started to laugh.  
  
Angel quickly realized his mistake. "Floored, grounded, whatever."  
  
"Dad, you cannot let her marry that man."  
  
"Journey, it's HER life."  
  
Journey slumped his shoulders. "Don't you love her, Daddy?"  
  
Angel sighed. "Of course, I do."  
  
"Then, please Dad. Don't let her marry him. He's bad for Cordelia, I know it."  
  
"Bad?" Angel asked. "How so? Besides, like I said, it's her life. I can't stop her."  
  
"Yes, you can!"  
  
"How?"  
  
"Tell her you love her. I'm almost positive she loves you back."  
  
"Almost positive?"  
  
"I'm positive." Journey looked down at the floor. "Just don't let this man take her away from us."  
  
Angel walked over to his son and picked him up to hug him. "I'll try.. but I can't guarantee anything. Cordy will probably kill me, but I will try."  
  
"Thank you, Daddy." Journey said softly. "If you'll let me go, I guess I'll go downstairs and be mean to Charlie and Milo."  
  
"All right." Angel said, setting his son on the ground. "Don't be too mean to them, okay?"  
  
As Angel watched his son leave the room, he knew that no matter what he said to Cordelia, she'd still end up marrying Caden come Saturday.  
  
* * * 


	6. Saturday, Open Windows, and Losing Corde...

Saturday came faster than expected. Angel had wanted to stay far away from any and all wedding preparations, but that was nearly impossible. Cordelia had begged him to let her have the wedding in the lobby of the Hyperion, and after a few hours of her begging, he had said yes. And since Cordelia had planned the wedding for late in the afternoon, this meant that Angel had to spend the day with wedding planners, caterers, cleaners, flowers, and open windows surrounding him and his home. Cordelia was in and out most of the day, and remembering what he'd told his son, he tried to catch her. He even stood at the top of the stairs for a while, hoping to catch her. He stood there long enough to watch the chairs being set out. For the groom's side, nearly fifty chairs were set out; for the bride's side, only five. Angel turned and went slowly back upstairs.  
  
*  
  
A few hours later, Cordelia knocked on room number 312 and opened the door. "Angel, are you in here?"  
  
"Yeah." She saw him sitting in a chair that faced the darkened windows.  
  
Cordelia stepped inside. "Where the heck is Journey?"  
  
"I sent him to Wes and Fred's."  
  
"Well, I'm sure he was happy."  
  
"No, not really. But I had to send him away. He was upset about the wedding."  
  
"Oh, did one of the workers yell at him? 'Cause I'll fire whoever it was."  
  
"No one yelled at him." Angel turned to face her. "He's upset that you're getting married."  
  
"Why is he upset?"  
  
"'Cause he's losing his 'mommy'."  
  
Cordelia closed her eyes. "Oh, Angel, I'm sorry. I just told him that he could call me that because those evil kids and he looked SO sad and -"  
  
Angel put up a hand to stop her. "It's all right, Cor. I can understand why you did it. I guess. But I wish you would have told me. I mean, I really do believe that Journey thinks you're his mother."  
  
"I'll talk to him." Cordy told him. "Will he be back before the wedding starts?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Good, because he'll be the ringbearer and Charlotte can be the flower girl! It'll be so great! I mean, they'll look-"  
  
"He's not coming to the wedding."  
  
"Do you HAVE to keep interrupting me??" Cordelia sighed. "Wait-why not?"  
  
Angel sighed. "Well, we got into this huge fight, he yelled and me, and I-I grounded him."  
  
"You grounded HIM?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You GROUNDED him?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well. because I can."  
  
"That's no reason to ground the poor boy. In fact, that's the worst excuse in the book. That's not what you told him, is it?"  
  
"No." Angel closed his eyes. "Who knew raising a kid would be this hard?"  
  
"Dr. Spock." Cordelia told him, matter of factly. "But nevermind, maybe I can help. Why'd you ground him?"  
  
Angel thought for a moment. "He was hell bent on stopping your wedding."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, he was thinking up all these crazy schemes, saying, 'she shouldn't marry this man'."  
  
Cordy lowered her head. "And you GROUNDED him?"  
  
"I thought you'd be proud of me for putting my foot down!"  
  
"But Angel, what Journey's doing is so. sweet."  
  
"Sweet?!"  
  
"Yeah." Cordy glanced at her watch. "Ooh. Almost late for my hair appointment. Can I please PLEASE pick up Journey from kiddie hell on my way back?"  
  
Angel let out an exasperated sigh. "I guess."  
  
Cordy ran to him and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks, Angel. You're the best."  
  
"I know." He said softly as she rushed out the door.  
  
* * *  
  
Later that afternoon, Angel heard the guests slowly trickle in as he dressed in his black tuxedo. Someone knocked at his door as he tried helplessly to tie the black bow tie that went with his suit. "Come in." He called.  
  
Cordelia and Journey blew into the room like a hurricane. Journey, already dressed in a black tuxedo of his on, ran and jumped on to Angel's bed. "Hi ya, Dad."  
  
"Hey, Journey."  
  
"Journey, don't get your suit wrinkled." Cordelia scolded. Journey abruptly stopped squirming and glared at Cordelia. "Journey Alan Chase," Cordelia began in a stern voice, placing her hands on her hips. "Don't make me. FLOOR you!" They both exploded into giggles.  
  
Angel shook his head. "Okay, you know what? Laugh all you want. OUTSIDE of my room."  
  
Cordelia tried to hold in her laughter. "Hey! We're here to help!"  
  
"Help? Help with what?"  
  
"Well, you know, since mirrors are totally useless to you, I thought I'd help with your hair, tie.. you know, your whole general appearance."  
  
Angel glanced at the clock. "Cordy, your wedding starts in twenty minutes. When are you going to get dressed?"  
  
"Calm down, it doesn't take me five minutes to slip a dress over my head. Besides," Cordy smiled mischievously. "A wedding can't start without a bride!" She looked over at Journey. "Am I right, J-man?"  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
Cordy turned back to Angel and shrugged. "See, even he agrees. So, let's have a look at you." After giving him a quick once over, she clucked her tongue. "Your tie is crooked." She stepped close and began to fix his mis- tied bow tie. As she moved from his tie to his jacket to his hair, Angel couldn't help but notice how close she was to him. So close he could smell the flowery scent of her perfume. So close he could see the glitter flecks sprayed into her elegant updo. So close he could hear her eyelashes brushing together everytime she closed her deep brown eyes.  
  
Angel had almost decided that he wanted to kiss her, when she stepped back abruptly, nodding in approval. "All right, now, you look good."  
  
Angel frowned. "I didn't look good before?"  
  
"Well.. sure you did." Cordy trailed. "You just weren't.. um.. Cordelialized, that's all." She nodded. "Am I right, J-man?"  
  
"Absolutely." Journey responded, without even looking at his father.  
  
"See, even he agrees." Cordy glanced at the clock. "Okay, Cordy must get dressed. One can't be late to her own wedding, now can she?"  
  
Journey and Angel looked at each other, but said nothing about her previous statement. Cordy went on.  
  
"Journey, head downstairs in the next couple of minutes, and make sure that Charlie's there too, okay? Angel, you meet me at my room in 10. Got it?"  
  
"Got it." Angel replied.  
  
"I don't got it." Journey called out. "Cordelia, do I really have to link arms and walk with Charlie?"  
  
"Yes, Journey, you do. It won't be for long and plus, you'll look SO adorable." She looked at Angel. "Am I right, Angel?"  
  
Angel shrugged. "Absolutely."  
  
"See, even he agrees. Now, I'll see you two in a few." Cordy walked out, shutting the door behind her.  
  
"DAD!" Journey yelled, hopping off the bed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You were supposed to back me up! I could've gotten out of walking with Charlie!"  
  
Angel shook his head. "No. No, you couldn't have."  
  
"Yes, Dad, I-"  
  
"Journey, you're misunderstanding something. She. Is. Cordelia. If she wanted you to walk down the aisle in a dress, you would have, regardless of who'd try to stop her."  
  
"I guess." Journey walked over to the nearest curtained window. "I'm also guessin' that since we're all attending a wedding today, you never spoke to her like you said you would."  
  
"No."  
  
Journey nodded. "Well, Father, I must say I'm very disappointed in you."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Like they say, when you want something done right, you do it yourself. I guess that's what I'm going to have to do. Take matters into my own hands."  
  
"Oh, no." Angel shook his head. "No, you most certainly will not."  
  
"Oh, yeah. I think I will."  
  
"I'll beat your butt so hard."  
  
Journey shrugged. "You'd have to catch me first, old man."  
  
"Old man? OLD MAN? I'm not an 'old man'."  
  
"Sure, whatever, Grandpa."  
  
Angel had heard enough. He stalked over to the door and threw it open. "Out. Now."  
  
Journey snorted and walked to the door. Angel grabbed him before he could get into the hallway. "If you do anything to ruin Cordy's big day, I promise you that I will floor you. I will chain you to the floor and literally, FLOOR you. And then, I'll invite Milo and Charlie over to play and annoy you for several days. Do you understand me?"  
  
Journey shrugged. "I understand you, all right. But excuse me if I don't believe you follow through with your little 'threat'. After all, you told me you'd talk to Cordelia about this, and uh, you didn't."  
  
Journey wriggled free from his father's grasp and took off down the hall. Angel leaned his head against the doorframe. "How did he get so disrespectful and RUDE! I don't know where he gets that." He sighed and closed his eyes.  
  
Down the hall, Cordelia opened the door to her room and stepped out into the hallway. "Angel, are you coming or not? I've been waiting for five minutes! All right?! Get your vampire butt over here now!"  
  
Angel opened his eyes and stood up. "Now I know." He muttered to himself as he walked to her.  
  
"So, what do ya think?" Cordy asked, holding out the sides of her dress, and twirling around. As Angel watched her, twirling in her beautiful, traditional, yet pure Cordelia white wedding gown and the glitter from her hair catching in the lights, a smile grew on his face.  
  
"Beautiful." He told her.  
  
"All right." Cordelia said, beaming at him. He offered his arm, and she linked hers through his. "Ready to walk me down the aisle?"  
  
"Ready as I'll ever be."  
  
They walked together, down the hall and to the top of the stairs. As soon as they reached the top of the stairs, Journey and Charlotte started down them. The plan was for Cordelia and Angel to walk down the stairs as soon as Charlie and Journey took their places at the front of the room. But as Angel watched the two children step into their places, and heard the wedding march begin to play, he found that he couldn't move forward.  
  
Cordelia, still smiling, asked, "Angel, what are you waiting for? This is the part where we walk, remember?"  
  
"I remember." Angel responded. "It's just."  
  
"Just what?"  
  
"I can't." By now, all the guests were staring.  
  
"Yes, you can. All you do is put one foot in front of the other."  
  
"No, I can't. I can't let you get married. I-" Angel swallowed. "I love you, Cordelia."  
  
"I love you too, Angel. Now, c'mon, let's go."  
  
"No, Cordelia. I LOVE you." 


	7. Confessions, Soulmates, and a Warning

Author's Note: Thanks(again!) to all those kind enough to leave feedback. It's the fuel that keeps me going. Also, updates will be few and far between most likely until probably the end of this month. Sorry!   
  
  
---  
  
Cordelia looked at him, a look of total surprise on her face. "You what?!"  
  
"I love you." Angel repeated. He rushed on. "And I know what you must be thinking. You're probably wondering why I waited until now to say anything. And you're probably going to tell me that it doesn't matter if you love me back or not.. because we're two very different people and things would never ever work out between us. You don't have to tell me, Cordy. I know. I've thought about this a million times... "  
  
Cordelia closed her eyes and sighed softly. "Oh, Angel."  
  
Angel looked at his feet. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."  
  
"No.. don't' be sorry. You've done nothing wrong."  
  
"I just--I just wanted you to know." The music stopped abruptly and both Angel and Cordelia looked downstairs at the guests awaiting. Cordelia held up a finger as if to say, "Just a moment." Then, she turned to Angel.   
  
"And I want you to know something."  
  
"What?"  
  
Cordy locked eyes with him. "I love you too. I never told you because I wasn't sure if you felt that way too. And I also knew that it probably wouldn't work out." She looked back downstairs and noticed the concerned look on Caden's face. 'It's okay,' she mouthed. Turning to face Angel, she went on. "Ad then.. I met Caden. It took a while.. but one day, I knew he was the one for me. That we were meant to be. I still love you, Angel, and I probably always will. I.. Well, I feel like you're my soulmate."  
  
Angel smiled softly. Him--Cordelia's soulmate? Obviously that meant--  
  
"But Caden's my HUMAN soulmate." She added.   
  
Obviously, Angel had thought a little too early.  
  
"Do you understand?" Cordelia asked him.  
  
He'd loved her for nearly 8 years. Just like in romance novels. And he never acted on those feelings because he thought she'd always be around. Now, when he finally got the courage to confess his secret crush for her, he wasn't going to walk away with the girl. What more was there to understand? Angel didn't trust his voice at the moment, so he merely nodded.   
  
"Shall we?"   
  
"Um.. first.. could I get a hug?"   
  
Cordy smiled. "Sure."  
  
She leaned against him and he embraced her, holding her tightly. He kissed her cheek gently before releasing her. He offered his arm once more and she took it. The music started again, and they began their descent down the staircase.  
  
When they reached the bottom, Cordy whispered softly, "Don't look so sad. After all, I'll always be Cordelia Chase, your vision girl."  
  
At the end of the aisle, Cordy left his hand and took Caden's. As Angel walked to his designated chair, Cordelia flashed him one last reassuring smile. Before Angel sat down, he heard the official ask, "Who gives this woman to this man?"  
  
Angel stared at Cordelia for a few seconds, not wanting to say the inevitable. Wesley nudged him with his elbow. "I-I do." Angel closed his eyes and sat down, hoping that the worst was over.   
  
----  
  
Meanwhile, Journey was not a happy camper. Having to stand thisclose to the man his mother was marrying was not having a good effect on him. His eyes bounced from his dad to Cordelia, and back again. The warning his father had issued was fresh on his mind.. but he had to do SOMETHING. Anything.   
  
He couldn't do anything that his father could see, because that'd mean infinite death. There was no way he was going to endure days of Milo and Charlie if there were other ways he could stop this wedding. He tried to think of something he could do… and finally he remembered what he'd read in one of Uncle Wesley's books. It was sort of like mind reading.. but you say things in your mind to someone else and they'd hear and understand you. He figured it'd probably wouldn't work and he'd end up launching himself at Caden and spending three years with Milo and Charlie shackled to his side, but it was still worth a shot.   
  
He closed his eyes and cleared his mind. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on sending a telepathic message to Cordelia. 'Please don't marry this man, please don't marry this man.' He chanted over and over in his mind. 'Please don't marry him, Cordelia, please.'  
  
Cordelia, who just seconds before was listening intently to the Reverend, let a hand fly to her forehead. 'Please, don't let me have a vision now,' she pleaded silently. Sure that the pain she was experiencing was vision-induced, Cordelia steeled herself for the brutal images that were to come. She noticed Caden staring at her.   
  
"What is it, Cor? Another migraine?" He asked softly.  
  
Cordelia almost laughed. If only it was a migraine! Though she knew that they also hurt like hell, at least it didn't leave horrifying pictures in your head to haunt for nights to come. She managed a weak smile. "Yes.. but I'll be okay."  
  
"Are you sure?" He gestured at the Reverend, who was also looking at Cordy. "We could postpone the wedding…."  
  
"No. No, continue. Please." As the Reverend began once more, Cordy prepared herself for the vision. No matter how awful it felt, she was not going to cry out and ruin her own wedding. TPTB be damned.  
  
But the vision never came. Instead, she heard a small voice at the back of her head.   
  
'Please don't marry this man, please don't marry this man. Please don't marry him, Cordelia, please.'  
  
Cordelia frowned. 'What in the world..'  
  
'Please, Cordy. Don't marry this guy. Please.'  
  
Why did that voice sound SO familiar?  
  
'Stop this wedding. Now. For me.'  
  
'Journey?' She glanced behind Caden's back at where Mr. RingBearer stood. His eyes were shut and his fist were clenched at his side, but he seemed to be chanting something over and over again, talking to himself.   
  
'For Dad.'  
  
Cordelia swallowed hard when she realized that no, it wasn't her imagination. Journey was actually speaking to her, pleading with her, and she was the only one to hear it! She was flattered by his valiant, yet somewhat weird effort. But like she told his father, she was meant to be with Caden. She wasn't sure how to tell Journey that without saying it aloud.   
  
But, as she quickly found out, she didn't have to. Journey heard her thoughts loud and clear.  
  
'So, you won't stop this wedding.?'  
  
'No, Journey. I'm sorry.'  
  
Journey felt his blood boil and he opened his eyes to let Cordelia see the anger held in them. 'I hate you.'  
  
Cordelia was alarmed. 'What?'  
  
'I hate you. I HATE you.' He repeated over and over again until suddenly, before either of them knew it, he yelled it for all to hear.  
  
Cordelia simply stared, jaw hanging open. He'd never acted like this before. In fact, he'd never in his life raised his voice to her. She wasn't sure what to do… or what to say.  
  
Caden, however, knelt before Journey. "What's wrong, son?"  
  
"I'm not your 'son'." Journey yelled. "Now, leave me alone." And before anyone could stop him, Journey spit in Caden's face. Then he turned and ran down the aisle and up the stairs.  
  
* * *  
  
'Well, there he goes. My wonderful, intelligent, handsome, bratty, and rude son, who I'll now have the unhappy pleasure of torturing. I know I should probably follow him.. but oh well. He knows what's coming and punishment will get to him sooner or later. And why not later? I don't want to have to punish him, because I can certainly understand where he's coming from, but good grief, how discourteous can a child be? Besides, Cordy's wedding is still going to take place and Cordy'd kill me if I missed it. And I don't want to miss it. If I miss it, then it may be harder to convince myself that she's really married. That she's really no longer mine.   
  
As the wedding starts back up once again, after Caden spent five minutes in the bathroom wiping off his spit-upon face, I say a silent apology to Cordelia. This was her day and already both my son and I have made it miserable for her. I wish I could apologize to her now, where she can hear it and hopefully accept it. But that'll have to wait. I'm not going to hold up her wedding any longer.   
  
She's so beautiful. The thought comes out of nowhere and hits me like a bullet in the stomach. Her hair is up-a sort of French twist, but with baby curls framing her sweet face. A tiara sits atop her head, and it reminds me of our brief stay in Pylea.  
  
Her dress, which is quite long, is a white color, but is splashed with a spray of cobalt blue swirls and glitter, which start at the bottom of the satin dress and thin out towards the v-neck of the top. The back of her dress is also v-shaped, so deep a v that most of her back is showing. It shows off her delicate back and skin perfectly.   
  
Closing my eyes, I try to remember ever last detail of how she looks-beautiful, stunning, and most importantly, happy.   
  
God, I'm going to miss her. I know that she's really not going anywhere. But it just fells so much like a door is closing on us - on what we used to be. No more AngelCordelia, CordeliaAngel. It was now back to Angel AND Cordelia, Cordelia AND Angel. After years of being so close that it seemed as if we were one person, we're being divided again, into two separate entities. I can already feel a void, growing slowly in my still, unbeating heart.   
  
I just want.. so much to grab her and hold her in my arms and never let go. To protect her from everything and anything. I want to whisper softly in her ear the crazy theme she thought up for Angel Investigations' new slogan years ago-"Let us be your hero." She'd been outvoted, but I'd give anything to whisper in her ear, "Let me be YOUR hero." '  
  
Before he realized it, everyone around him began to clap. Angel's eyes jerked up and he saw probably the most horrifying thing he'd ever seen in his 200+ years-and it hit him like a stake to the heart: Cordelia and Caden kissing, thereby sealing their marriage.  
  
When the kiss ended, Cordelia grinned at Angel, who forced himself to smile back. As soon as it was announced that the reception would be held in the nearby dining hall, Angel quickly ran upstairs to check on his Cordelia-esque son.  
  
* * *  
  
"I will not apologize to that man." Journey said before Angel could even set foot in his room.  
  
"No, but you will apologize to Cordy." Angel came in, shutting the door behind him. "And if SHE wants you to, you WILL apologize to Caden."  
  
Journey shook his head. "I'll apologize to Cordy, but under no circumstances will I ever apologize to HIM."   
  
"We'll see." Angel said curtly. He began to pace the floor in front of his son. "Just what was THAT all about?"  
  
"What?" Journey asked innocently.   
  
"You know very well 'what'!" Angel replied angrily. "How could you do that to Cordelia?"  
  
"How could she do that to us, Dad?"  
  
Angel shook his head. "I don't know where you come up with this confused and bizarre logic, but I'm tired of it. Now, you will stay in this room for the rest of the night. And tomorrow, punishment will begin. Bright and early, at seven a.m."  
  
"Whatever." Journey replied flippantly, grabbing a nearby book to read.  
  
Angel began to leave, but stopped once he reached the closed door. He understood why Journey had behaved in such a way, but like he'd said earlier, he couldn't NOT punish him. Journey couldn't be allowed to get away with ruining a wedding and spitting in the groom's face. Sighing, Angel opened the door and left the room, shutting the door behind him.  
  
* * *  
  
Angel made his way to the dining hall as the dancing began. Thankfully, Cordy and Caden were finished with the traditional feeding each other a slice of cake routine, so at least he didn't have to bear witness to that. After watching her dance the first dance with Caden, Angel moved in to take his place as the second song began. Caden whisked his mother away on the dance floor, while Angel began to dance slowly with Cordelia.   
  
They danced in silence, but halfway through the song, Angel blurted out, "I'm so sorry."  
  
Cordelia nodded. "I know." Cordelia refused to look him in the eye. Angel went on.   
  
"I had no idea he would act that way, Cordelia. I knew he had his heart set on stopping the wedding, but I never thought he'd do.. THAT."  
  
Cordelia was quiet. She slowly raised her head and Angel could see her tearful eyes. "Do you think.. do you think he really hates me, Angel?"  
  
"No.. of course not. He's just upset. He could never hate you."  
  
"I try to tell myself that.. but.. he looked so mad, Angel. You have no idea."   
  
"Don't worry about him. He'll come around. He'll probably be dying to see you after your week in Paris."  
  
"Think so?"  
  
"Know so." Angel managed a half-smile as the song faded away. "Now, try to enjoy the rest of this day.. it's your day. And I want you to be happy. And I know Journey would want that too."  
  
Cordelia smiled softly. "Thanks, Angel…for everything."  
  
Almost without warning, Cordelia was taken away by Gunn, who wanted to dance with the lovely bride. Angel walked off, with one last thing in mind. Caden.  
  
He found Caden near the food tables, talking with acquaintances. Angel walked up to him and waited for the conversation to dwindle a bit before asking, "Caden, could I talk to you please… in private?"  
  
Caden agreed and Angel led them into the adjoining kitchen.   
  
"You're Cordelia's brother, right?" Caden asked once they'd reached the kitchen.   
  
Angel frowned. "Um, yes.. yes I am."   
  
Caden smiled and held out his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you."  
  
"You too." Angel shook his hand politely. "Now, I want to talk to you about Cordelia."  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"If she's ever unhappy, for whatever reason, you're going to get more than my son's spit in your eye.   
If you ever, in any way, hurt her, under any circumstances, I will kill you. Make no mistake about that."  
  
Caden backed up into the wall behind him. "Hey-aren't you taking this older brother thing a little too far?"  
  
"I don't think so. She's all I have besides my son and I'm all she has. I love her with all my heart and if anything happens to her, and I find out it's because of you, I will hunt you down and kill you. It's as simple as that."  
  
Then, Angel stalked off, leaving an openmouthed Caden behind.   
  
TBC 


	8. Faith, Prophecy, and a Cordyless Week

"I miss Cordelia." Fred slumped down in the nearest chair. It sure was lonely being the only woman in the house. She'd never be able to understand how Cordelia took being the only woman on the team for 2 years. But then again, she WAS Cordelia.  
  
"It is awfully quiet around here." Wesley agreed, not even looking up from the ancient scroll he was trying halfheartedly to translate. A yell from upstairs pierced the air, and Wesley looked up. "Well, it was, anyway." He turned back to his scroll. "Angel, are you sure Journey's okay? He keeps yelling."  
  
"He's fine. He's just having.. Cordy withdrawals." Angel said from his position at Cordy's desk, where he was reading a paper.  
  
Fred turned her attention to the ceiling above and stood up. "Are you sure it's not Milo and Charlie terrorizing him? I mean, they don't have to play with him—"  
  
"NO!" Angel shouted. Gunn, Wesley, and Fred looked at him. "No, I mean, he's fine. He loves to play with the twins."  
  
Fred shrugged. "Okay. Whatever you say." She fell back into the cushions of the couch. After a few moments of thoughtful silence, she spoke again. "You know what?"  
  
"What?" Gunn asked, not tearing his eyes from the television before him.  
  
"Wouldn't it be great if one day Charlie and Journey got married?"  
  
Angel shook his head. "No… that'll never happen."  
  
"Yeah, Fred. That'd just be too weird." Gunn added. "But you know what would be cool? If Milo and Charlie got married someday."  
  
It took Gunn a minute or two before he realized that they were all staring at him. "What?"  
  
"Gunn!" Wesley admonished. "That would best be described as 'incest'!"  
  
"Oh. Right. Sorry." Gunn apologized, noticing his mistake. "Man.. was that a Cordy moment or what? Hope I don't get her visions too."  
  
Angel looked up at that last comment. "Wesley.. what if she has a vision? Then what?"  
  
"Then she'll call us." Wesley stated calmly.  
  
"But what—"  
  
"Angel, she's fine. She'll be fine. She'll call us if she's not." He was beginning to get irritated. After all, he'd only answered Angel's Cordelia questions thirty thousand times today.  
  
"Dude, is that all we're going to spend this week doing? Going on about Cordelia? Don't we have anything else to do?" Gunn complained, turning the television off. "And how, out of 97 channels, is NOTHING on?"  
  
"Angel, why don't you check the calendar on Cordelia's desk. There's got to be something to look forward to." Wesley told him.  
  
Sighing audibly, Angel pushed his newspaper aside to look at the big calendar laying on Cordy's desk. Right away he noticed that the day of her return was circled, and that every day preceding the return date, she'd written, 'Miss Cordelia.' He smiled softly and noticed something else. "Hey."  
  
"Hey what?" Gunn asked, standing up and walking over to him.  
  
"Faith gets paroled tomorrow."  
  
"Really?!" Fred could hardly contain her excitement. True, she'd only met the girl once, but she'd seemed nice enough. Besides, this meant that she'd have some other girl to talk to until Cordy returned. "Where's she gonna stay?"  
  
"I don't know. Here, I guess." Angel replied vaguely. "I guess we should go pick her up. I can't go.. you know, on account of daylight and all. Why don't you—"  
  
"I'll go!" Gunn interjected. "Anything to get out of Snoresville."  
  
"And I'll go too." Fred volunteered.  
  
"Good. Then it's settled." Angel turned back to his paper.  
  
"Wes, do you want to come along?" Fred asked her husband.  
  
"No, Fred, I think I'll stay here. I've had enough of Faith in one lifetime. Besides, I'm still trying to translate this scroll."  
  
"How's that going anyway, Wesley?" Angel asked, folding up his paper and walking over to him.  
  
"Well, it's a slow process, because it almost contradicts everything the first scroll said."  
  
"First scroll?" Gunn asked.  
  
"Yes.. this scroll is the one I was telling you about. The one that spoke about a vampire with a soul.. a vampire with a soul that had a human child."  
  
"Did it say anything more about my 'shanshu'?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And?"  
  
"It's hard to understand and again, I may have my translations wrong, but I believe it's saying that your 'shanshu' is coming a lot sooner than any of us thought."  
  
"How soon?"  
  
"Four, five.. six years maybe? It's not too clear on exactly when."  
  
"I thought Angel had to survive a few plagues and apocalypses?" Fred asked.  
  
"The first scroll did say that. But this scroll says that since the birth of the human child to a nonliving demon happened, it makes up for Angel's past grievances significantly."  
  
"Say what?" Gunn asked. "You lost me, English."  
  
"Due to Journey's birth, his very existence in this world, Angel basically has a clean slate with the world. The birth of Journey has shortened Angel's path of redemption."  
  
"How, Wes?" Fred got up and walked over to him. She looked over his shoulder and marveled how he understood the gibberish written on the scroll.  
  
"Well, from what I gather, though this scroll is pretty vague, Journey's birth was for a definite reason and a definite purpose. It's like he's going to take over for Angel or something. The scroll specifically states that when Journey becomes a certain age where he can act and be responsible for his own actions and is able to protect himself and others, Angel will become human. Journey's existence is to make sure that there's always someone here to help the Powers carry out earthly matters." Wesley removed his glasses and closed his eyes. He opened them once more, blinked a few times, and then replaced his glasses. "Before Journey, the Powers were unsure whether or not they'd have anyone to help them like Angel has helped them after Angel's gone. With Journey being here, he can carry on. Also, the scroll says that one day Journey will be full demon. Now, I don't know if that means being a vampire or…"  
  
It was about at that point when Angel stopped listening. Because even though Wesley went on to say that the Powers had anticipated Journey's arrival and Journey was suppose to be a major player in the fate of the world all along, Angel heard something else. Angel heard that his son was going to have to spend his life fighting to pay off the debt his father couldn't pay off in his lifetime. And that wasn't what he wanted for Journey, not at all. He wanted Journey to be able to be normal, something he hadn't been for over two hundred years. He wanted Journey to be able to step out in the sunshine without bursting into flames. He also wanted Journey to be able to love and be loved in return. This new prophecy just wouldn't do.  
  
No one noticed when Angel slipped out of the room and upstairs. He was headed to his room, but as he walked by Journey's room, he stopped and went inside. He found Journey, somehow strapped to a chair with belts and being forced to drink imaginary tea with Charlie, while listening to Milo drone on about Einstein. Angel listened to Milo for a few minutes before asking a question himself.  
  
"Does E really equal MC squared, Milo?"  
  
Milo looked up calmly. "No. Everyone thought Einstein was a genius, but actually, he was an idiot."  
  
"Oh-kay." Angel shook his head. "Why don't you and Charlie go on downstairs? I think you guys are going to go home soon."  
  
"Good." Milo responded, gathering up his books and helping his sister gather her things as well. "The intelligence level of this room is severely lacking."  
  
And with that, Milo and Charlie headed downstairs.  
  
"So, how's it going, J?"  
  
"Miserable." Journey let out a deep exasperated sigh and struggled against his restraints.  
  
"That bad, huh?" Angel asked, kneeling before his son and beginning to free Journey. "Are you hungry?"  
  
"No. I'm so full of 'pretend tea' I could puke." Journey slid out of the chair and practically flew over to his bed, where he lay back against the cool comforter.  
  
"What are you doing here? Don't I have 6000 more hours of this crap?"  
  
  
  
Angel stood up. "Don't kick a gifthorse in the mouth, all right?"  
  
"I'm not complaining. I'm just wondering."  
  
"Had a change of heart, that's all." Angel sat down next to his sprawled out son.  
  
"You don't have a heart."  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"No… you don't."  
  
Angel sighed. "Journey, let's establish some ground rules here." Angel pointed to himself. "I am the parent. YOU," he went on, pointing at Journey. "Are the child."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So.. you've got to start learning to do as I say. One day, when you're the daddy, YOU can make the rules."  
  
Journey rolled his eyes back. "Okay. When's Cordy getting back?"  
  
"In a week."  
  
"A WHOLE week?!"  
  
"A whole week." Angel repeated.  
  
"We're going to die before she gets back, aren't we?"  
  
Angel laid down himself, next to Journey on the bed. "Most likely, son."  
  
After a few minutes of silence, Angel spoke softly. "She loves you, you know."  
  
"Who, Cordelia?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Just like I love you."  
  
Journey immediately sat up. "I know that, Dad. And I love you too. But is something wrong?"  
  
"No. Why?"  
  
"Well.. why the mushy act?"  
  
Angel sighed. "It's just that.. well, one day things will change. And you'll do… things."  
  
"Things?"  
  
"Yeah. Things." Angel went on, not as vaguely as before. "And I just want you to know that whatever you do, whatever you become, I'll always love you. No matter how angry you make me." He paused. "And Cordy'll love you always too."  
  
Journey flopped back against the bed once more. "Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Okay.. well, then. I thank you for that little announcement."  
  
"You're welcome. Now, what the heck are we going to do for a whole week?"  
  
"I vote for being mopey."  
  
"No. Cordy will beat us when she gets back if we do that. Besides, I've moped enough for three lifetimes. Pick something else."  
  
"Well.." Journey looked around the room and his eyes fell on the new book Cordy had recently given him. "We could read 'The Golden Compass'.. you know, that book Cordy got me. I can read a chapter and then you can read a chapter. And since Cordy bought the book, it'll be like she's here with us."  
  
Angel nodded. "All right. Sounds like a plan."  
  
Journey got up and retrieved the book. Then, he brought it back to Angel, who was now sitting up, leaning back against the pillows lining the headboard. Journey climbed up beside him, and Angel wrapped one arm around him. Journey opened the pages with care and began to read. "'The Golden Compass' by Philip Pullman… "  
  
And that's how they spent their week, together, enthralled in the fantasyland pages of a book.  
  
TBC  
  
Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback. You guys are the greatest! Again, sorry for lack of updates… it's really hectic right now for me, but I'm trying to get the chapters out as soon as I possibly can, so I thank you for your patience. Thanks for everything! :) 


	9. Older, Whipped, and Married.. Again?

1  
  
One Year Later  
  
"Journey." Cordelia called, standing at the foot of the Hyperion's stairs.  
  
"What?" Journey yelled back.  
  
"Don't 'what' me, little man! Get your butt down here."  
  
"I'm coming!" She heard Journey's voice and it sounded as if he were closer to her than before, but still yet, she couldn't see him.  
  
"Journey, don't make me come up there…"  
  
"I'm down here." He told her, sounding closer than ever."  
  
Cordelia looked around. "Whatever, J. Just come down here now, all right?"  
  
"I'm telling you, Cordy, I AM here." He seemed to be right in her ear.  
  
"Stop the telekinetic crap, okay?"  
  
"Telepathic." He corrected her. "Hold on, I have to sneeze." A loud sneezing sound echoed off the walls of the Hyperion and Journey's body flashed before her. Then, suddenly, Journey materialized right there before her very eyes! "See? Told ya I was down here."  
  
Cordy's jaw dropped. "How did.. what? How did you do that?"  
  
Journey shrugged. "Not quite sure. I sneezed and I was gone. I sneezed again, and here I am." He explained. "And I don't appreciate being yelled at for no particular reason."  
  
"Sor-ry." Cordelia rolled her eyes.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"Well, I was wanting to see if you'd like to go to the movies with me, hateful."  
  
"Sure, love t— Wait. Will Caden be there?" The disdain was clearly evident in his voice.  
  
Cordelia shook her head. Even though she'd been married to Caden for over a year, Journey had yet to warm up to the idea of her marriage to 'that man'. "No, J. Caden's out of town for a few weeks."  
  
"Again?"  
  
"Yes, again. He's a very busy man, Journey."  
  
"He's a very stupid man." Journey scoffed.  
  
"Journey…" Cordelia began in a warning tone.  
  
"Well, he is. Why would anyone in their right mind leave YOU for days and weeks at a time?"  
  
"He's got a job to do, Journey."  
  
"He's also got a job called being your husband. One that he sucks at very much."  
  
Cordelia sighed. "Look, do you want to go the movies or not?"  
  
"Fine. Just let me get my jacket." Journey began to run back upstairs, but stopped halfway. "Hey, is my dad back yet?"  
  
"No. He'll be back after five. He took Wes, Gunn, and Faith with him to work on a case. So, it's just the two of us." The phone started to ring and Cordy rushed to answer it. "Hurry and get your jacket." She told Journey, who, for once in his life, obeyed. Cordy picked up the desk phone after its third ring. "Angel Investig—" She listened to the caller a moment before answering, "This is she."  
  
Journey came flying back downstairs in time to hear Cordelia ask, "Who IS this?"  
  
Journey walked over to her, jacket in hand. "No, really, who is this?" She repeated.  
  
Journey looked at her and telepathically asked, "Who is it, C?"  
  
Cordy simply raised a finger to her lips to silence any further verbal or telepathic questions brought on by Journey's curiosity. Cordy's mouth fell open. "And you're like in L.A. … now? Oh, brother. What? No, no. Sorry. Yes. Yes, I understand. Okay, but he's a busy guy and--. No. You won't leave until you see him? Well.. um, gosh, guess you'd really like to see him, huh? I'm sure he'd love to meet you too, Mother. Um, yes. Right. Okay. Just.. okay. Yes.. All right. Look, why don't you and dad meet me at seven o'clock here. Yes.. where I work..? You've still got the address, don't you? Yes.. well, I apologize for not inviting you to the wedding. Yes. I'm a bad daughter. No, Mother.. I was being sarcastic. Sorry. I said I was sorry!! All right. Okay. Bye now.. kiss kiss to you too, Mom." Cordelia hung up the phone and sighed. "Glory be…"  
  
"So?" Journey asked impatiently.  
  
"My parents are in town…"  
  
Journey frowned. "Why?"  
  
"They want to meet Cade."  
  
Journey wrinkled his nose in disgust. " Yuck. Why?"  
  
"I don't know why. But my mother specifically said that they were not leaving L.A. until they met him. So, all we have to do is show them Caden tonight and they're out of my hair by morning." Journey began to laugh. "Hey.. what's so funny about my situation, little man?"  
  
"Well, Houston, YOU have a problem."  
  
"Problem?"  
  
"Uh.. yeah. MAJOR problem."  
  
"What problem?"  
  
"Mr. He's-All-That Husband is out of town for, uh, the next two weeks, that's what!"  
  
Cordy's eyes widened. "No."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"No!" Cordy shook her head. "Figures. Angel's been in hell, you've been through kiddie hell. It only makes sense for me to experience hell as well." She sighed and let her head drop into her hands. "Oh, Journey, what am I going to do?"  
  
"Well, first, we're going to the movies." Journey pulled on his jacket. "So, get up, and we'll go to the theater, lose ourselves for roughly two hours, then we'll come back here and figure something out."  
  
"Journey, there's no time for movies."  
  
"What are you going to do? Sit here and worry all day? No.. you're not going to do that. It'll only make you feel worse. " Journey grabbed one of her hands. "So, come on, let's go."  
  
Cordy sighed heavily as she stood up. "All right. Might as well have one last time of fun before torture begins."  
  
"That's the spirit!" Journey began to lead her out the double doors of the Hyperion. "Quick question."  
  
"What?"  
  
"When's the last time you saw your parents?" They started to walk to the nearest theater.  
  
"Well, how old are you?"  
  
"I'm eight.. you know that."  
  
"Well.. then two years before you were born then."  
  
Journey quickly did the math. "Ten years!?! You haven't seen your parents in ten years?"  
  
"We don't get along very well, Journey. Not before, and especially not now." She said, thinking of how she'd changed in the years she'd left home. "I'm not the person I was."  
  
"Yeah, but ten years? That's an awful long time. I don't think I could go ten years without seeing my Dad."  
  
"Well, you have a dad who loves you and who you love back. I, on the other hand, didn't have that. I loved my parents and they never really loved me. Instead of telling me that they loved me, they showered me with all kinds of ridiculous presents. Which led me to be a spoiled brat by the age of 3 and to associate love with gifts. And that's not love. Not at all."  
  
"It's not?" Journey asked as they took their place at the end of the ticket line.  
  
"No. And you're lucky to have someone who really and truly loves you. One that tells you he loves you each day instead of handing you a gift they had their secretary pick out. You're lucky to have someone like your Dad, Journey."  
  
Journey squeezed her hand and looked up at her. "I'm lucky to have someone like you, too."  
  
And suddenly, as Cordelia stared into the deep brown eyes that were so much like his fathers, she felt that everything would be all right. That no matter what happened, now or later, in the past or in the future, everything would turn out okay for her. And she saw all that in the child's eyes.  
  
* * *  
  
After the movie, Cordy ran back as quickly as she could to the Hyperion. Despite the calming effect Journey had had on her earlier, she was now panicking once more over her parents visiting. Journey tried his hardest to keep up with long legged Cordelia, and he was not far behind her when she slammed through the double doors of the Hyperion like a hurricane. She'd barely stopped in the doorway when she saw Angel, and she was off again. She rushed to him and threw her arms around him. "Oh, Angel, you're here! You're here! I'm so glad you're back."  
  
Angel slowly embraced her, unsure of the situation. "Looks like you missed me." Journey came tumbling in the open doors of the hotel, red-faced and out of breath. "Is, uh, something wrong?"  
  
Journey looked up and nodded as Cordelia moaned loudly, "Yes!"  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
Cordelia stepped back away from Angel. "Oh, the most awfullest thing. My parents are in L.A."  
  
Angel frowned. "So? That's not exactly the soap opera drama you make it out to be, Cordelia."  
  
  
  
"Yes, but… they're here to see Caden!!"  
  
Angel cringed. "Why?"  
  
"That's what I asked!!" The newly energized Journey exclaimed as he shut the door behind him and ran to Cordy's rolling desk chair.  
  
"Yes, like father, like son." Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Will you keep your attention to the problem at hand? I've got a crisis here, people!!"  
  
"Cordy, it's not that big of a deal. You and Caden have dinner with them tonight and they're gone tomorrow. Simple." Angel told her.  
  
"But THAT's the problem!!" Cordelia looked about ready to pull all of her hair out, strand by strand.  
  
Angel turned to Journey. "What am I missing here, J?"  
  
"Ca-den's out of to-wn." Journey replied in a singsong voice.  
  
Angel's jaw dropped. "Again!?"  
  
Journey nodded. "Yep, again. How long has he been home this past year, Dad? A total of.. oh.. eight weeks?"  
  
"More like six." Angel shook his head. "I can't believe this.. he's NEVER home."  
  
"Yes, he is." Cordelia tried valiantly to defend her beloved husband.  
  
"Cordelia, wake up! All right, you and I both know that what I'm saying is true." Angel tried to reason with her.  
  
"Yeah, Cordelia. Get your head out of your butt and—" Journey piped up from Cordy's desk before being interrupted with a loud "Hey!" from both Angel and Cordy.  
  
"Okay, I know that neither of you like or understand Caden, but please, can you stop ragging on him for five seconds? We've got less than an hour to solve this problem."  
  
Angel shrugged. "I'm sorry, Cordelia, but I really don't know what to tell you."  
  
"Figures." Cordelia sighed. "Wish Gunn, Wes, Fred, or Faith were here. They'd at least come up with SOMETHING."  
  
Angel looked at the whiny Cordelia before his eyes. Though she'd undergone changes this last decade, she seemed to be resorting back to her Sunnydale ways. Maybe it was the arrival of her parents.. Angel didn't know. He just hoped it wouldn't stay long. "Well.. do they know what he looks like?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, find someone who looks like him and pay him to be your husband for the night. That's the only idea I have."  
  
Cordelia grew silent as she began to pace. After a few minutes of pacing, she stopped. "You know.. that's not a bad idea."  
  
Angel exchanged a glance with Journey. "It's not."  
  
"No, not at all. Because I was just thinking…"  
  
"ALWAYS a bad thing." Angel added.  
  
"And I just remembered that I took pictures with you at the wedding."  
  
"Well, you took pictures with everyone at the wedding."  
  
"Yes.. but they're not here and you are. And when they ask me about the wedding, I'll have pictures to show them of me in my wedding dress."  
  
"Oh, my God." Journey said slowly.  
  
"What, J?" Angel asked his son, not taking his eyes of Cordelia. He wasn't sure exactly where she was going with this.. but he had a feeling he wasn't going to like it.  
  
"She wants you to be Caden!" Journey exclaimed with disgust.  
  
Angel's eyes widened. "No.."  
  
"Come on, it's just for tonight. And it won't be that bad!"  
  
Angel shook his head. "No.. no. I can't be Caden. Besides what are we going to do with Journey?"  
  
"He can be your nephew, cousin, or something. That doesn't matter. We'll just say he's the neighbor's kid."  
  
"Good, cause I'm sure not going to be Caden's son!" Journey piped up.  
  
Angel looked at Cordelia wearily. "Cordelia.. I…"  
  
She grabbed his hands and held them in her own. Looking straight into his eyes, she pleaded with him. "Please, Angel. Do this. For me."  
  
Angel closed his eyes. He knew he'd probably regret what he was about to say, but there was no way he could say no to those eyes. "All right, Cordy. I'll do it."  
  
A wide smile brightened Cordelia's face. "Yes!" She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. "Thank you sooo much, Ang- I mean, Caden!"  
  
Angel winced at his new name for the night. "Your welcome, Cordelia. But please.. don't call me that unless necessary."  
  
"Fine, whatever you say. Anyway, I'm gonna run upstairs. It's a good thing I've got clothes stashed here. After I get dressed, I'll pick out something for you to wear, Lover boy." She turned and quickly ran upstairs.  
  
Across the room, Journey shook his head. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. You're whipped, Dad."  
  
Angel sighed. "I know.. boy, do I ever know."  
  
TBC 


	10. Pretending, Sickness, and a Dark Side

"Journey!" Cordelia cried out wearily. "I thought I told you to comb your hair."  
  
Journey paused on his descent down the stairs. "I did everything you told me. I put on this stupid shirt and these stupid slacks. I put on these stupid dress shoes and this stupid belt. And I combed my stupid hair. What more do you want?"  
  
"Well, maybe I should've specified to comb your hair with a comb and not your fingers. Now come here."  
  
Journey rolled his eyes but obeyed. When he got close enough to her, she licked her fingers and reached out to smooth down his hair. Journey grabbed her arm in midair. "Oh, no you don't. I'm eight years old and you'll not be putting your spit in my hair anytime soon."  
  
Cordelia dropped her arm. "Fine then. I suggest you march your butt back upstairs and comb your hair correctly." She smiled sweetly. "You've got five minutes."  
  
Journey sighed loudly. "Fine." He turned and began to run back upstairs, passing his father on the way.  
  
"Where's he going?" Angel asked.  
  
"Going to fix his hair."  
  
"Oh." Angel looked at the clothes he was wearing—a black button-down, long sleeve shirt, with a shiny silk red tie, black slacks, black dress shoes, and a black belt—exactly what Journey was wearing—and sighed. He felt.. well, he felt odd. Thank heavens this charade was only for one night. "Do I look okay?" Angel asked cautiously.  
  
Cordelia smiled. "You look great. And plus, you follow orders correctly the first time. Now, the question is.. do I look okay?" She twirled around a few times so Angel could get the full effect of her silky black dress.  
  
"You look beautiful, Cordy."  
  
Cordelia let out a deep-contented breath. "Thanks. I'm really nervous for some reason. But hopefully, nothing will go wrong, right?"  
  
"Hopefully."  
  
There was a knock at the door and Cordelia and Angel's eyes met. "All right. Here goes nothing. Charm their asses off, okay?" Cordelia smoothed out her dress quickly and then stepped up to open the door. "Mother, Daddy… how nice it is to see you again!" She plastered on a fake smile.  
  
"Oh, yes. It's simply marvelous that we're finally able to reunite after so long." Cordelia's mother responded, stepping inside and gently kissing both sides of Cordelia's face. Cordelia's mother stepped aside and her father entered the Hyperion. He hugged her quickly and tightly.  
  
"You've grown so much, Cordelia."  
  
Cordelia smiled, prepared to answer. She'd always had a better relationship with her father than her mother—she was a Daddy's girl through and through. But her mother interrupted before she could indulge in a reunion.  
  
"My, my, Cordelia. Just who is this handsome young fellow?" Cordelia's mother asked, eyeing Angel.  
  
"Oh, Mother, Daddy, this is my husband, Caden Michaels." Cordelia grabbed Angel's hand possessively. "Caden, these are my parents, Ethan and Victoria Chase."  
  
Angel plastered on a fake smile of his own. It was unusual to see Angel smiling, though he did it now more than ever, and Cordelia had to keep herself from laughing. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Chase." He told her father as he shook his hand.  
  
"Please, call me Ethan." Suddenly, Cordelia's mother thrust her hand in front of Angel.  
  
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Caden." She drawled, her eyes roaming Angel's body. He felt a little uncomfortable, but tried to remember what Cordelia had told him only minutes before. And so, instead of shaking her hand, he grabbed it gently and laid a light kiss on top of it.  
  
"The pleasure's all mine." Angel grinned softly.  
  
"My, my, aren't you the charmer?" Mrs. Chase said with a laugh.  
  
Cordelia spotted Journey as he came back down the stairs. "Journey, you're just in time to meet my parents. You guys, this is Caden's.. er.. nephew, Journey Michaels."  
  
Journey reached the bottom of the stairs and coughed as he heard his name being paired with the name of that evil Caden. Cordelia grabbed his arm tightly. "Journey, are you all right, child?"  
  
Journey blinked against her glaring gaze. "Yes, Aunt Cordy, I'm fine."  
  
"Good." Cordelia smiled.  
  
Victoria Chase bent slightly to pinch Journey's not-so-chubby cheeks. "Aren't you just the cutest thing? You look just like your Uncle."  
  
Journey repressed the urge to scream and smiled slightly. "Thank you."  
  
She stood up abruptly, already having lost interest in Journey. "So, Cordelia, where shall we be dining tonight?"  
  
"Well, I was thinking of this place—they serve the BEST sashimi—"  
  
"But I've been trying to convince Cordelia all day of letting us cook for you. We make quite the culinary team." Angel interrupted.  
  
"I didn't know you could cook, Cordelia." Her father told her.  
  
Cordelia let out a small laugh. "Neither did I, Daddy." She looked at the ground and then at Angel. "Caden, honey, can I talk to you, please?" Turning to her parents, she said, "Could you excuse us for a few minutes? We'll be right back." Then she took a hold of Angel's arm and literally drug him out of the room and into Wesley's nearby office.  
  
"What, Cordelia?" Angel asked as she shut the door behind them.  
  
"What are you doing?! I can't cook… and how would you know how to cook? You don't even eat!!"  
  
"Well, we wouldn't actually cook. We could order something in and 'pretend' that we cooked it."  
  
"Why don't we just go to a real restaurant so we can live in reality and not Pretend-land?"  
  
"Because, you and Caden eat out a lot, correct?" Angel waited until Cordelia nodded in reply. "And with how many nice restaurants are you on a first name basis with?"  
  
Realization hit Cordy like a two-ton brick in the stomach. "All of them."  
  
"Right. And if we go to any of them, they'll know I'm not Caden and they'll ask where he is and it'll blow our cover."  
  
Cordelia sighed. "Crap. Now what?"  
  
"We 'pretend' and eat here." He opened a desk drawer, pulled out a phone book, and began flipping through its pages. "So, what shall we cook tonight, dear wife?"  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
"Where do you go to school, Journey?" Cordelia's mother asked, making small talk to fill the silence.  
  
"I'm taught by a .. private tutor." Journey replied. It was a bit of a lie, but not really. Fred wasn't a certified teacher, but she'd taught him all the same since he was 3 years old.  
  
"Really? Well, that's wonderful." Victoria Chase's perpetual smile began to fade. "My goodness.. they've been in there an awful long time. Do you think they're all right?"  
  
"Are they all right?" Journey repeated. "OF COURSE, they're all right." He was beginning to lose his patience with these people.  
  
"Well, what on earth could they be doing that's taking so long?"  
  
'Just what I was thinking!' Journey wondered to himself. They'd taken off and left him to the wolves. Staring at the room they were in, an idea quickly formed in his head. "They've only been married for a year. What do you THINK they're doing in there?"  
  
Cordelia's father frowned. "I beg your pardon?"  
  
'Oh, yeah.' Journey thought, a smile slowly forming on his face. 'This is gonna be great! And it'll teach them to leave me alone with strange people!!' "Come on! You know what I'm talking about. Don't make me say it."  
  
Ethan and Victoria exchanged a look. "We're not following." Ethan told him.  
  
Journey rolled his eyes and sighed. "Are you people really that dense? They're not in there 'talking'. They're in there… well.. getting their freak on."  
  
Again, Ethan and Victoria looked at each other, and they slowly realized what young Journey was hinting at. Journey stifled a laugh as he watched their eyes widen.  
  
"No…" Cordelia's mother said, trying hard not to believe.  
  
"Shh! Listen!" Journey commanded them.  
  
As they grew silent, they heard the sound of things falling or being moved abruptly. Then, they heard a loud thump, and an "Oh!" from Cordelia. Something hit the wall hard and knocked a picture off of the wall outside the office.  
  
"Oh, my."  
  
"Yeah, and THAT'S what I have to listen to up to 10 times a day! You'd think they'd protect my virgin ears and send me some place safe where I don't have to hear that. I'm only 8 years old! I should be enjoying my childhood, not spending it listening to a porno!"  
  
Back in the office…  
  
Angel threw the phone book up against the wall. "Why are they always so snotty?"  
  
"It's their way." Cordelia replied, picking up all the things Angel had knocked off. "And good grief, do you HAVE to be so violent when you don't get your way?"  
  
"Yes, I do."  
  
"Fine, whatever." She stood back up, straightening her dress. "So, what's the plan, Stan?"  
  
"A deliveryman will meet us at the kitchen door of the hotel in 45 minutes."  
  
"45 minutes?!" Cordelia exclaimed. "What are you trying to do, starve us all?"  
  
"We have to make it believable. You know, like we really cooked it."  
  
"I guess." She shook her head. "All right. I'm gonna go to the kitchen now, and start setting things up. And I want you to stay here for a few minutes and calm down. I don't want to see you until your face is uh.. less vampy."  
  
"I vamped out?" Angel raised a hand tentatively to his face. His jaw dropped. "How in the world… I didn't even know."  
  
"Learn to control your rage, buddy." Cordelia said, opening the door and stepping out into the main foyer of the Hyperion. She began to walk towards the kitchen when she realized her parents were staring at her. "Oh, sorry, Mother and Daddy. I forget you were even here!"  
  
"Obviously." Her mother sneered.  
  
Cordelia frowned. "Oh-kay. Anyway, I'm going to the kitchen because Caden convinced me that we should cook for you guys. So, why don't you have a seat here and make yourself comfortable?"  
  
"Aunt Cordy, where's Uncle Caden?" Journey asked mischievously.  
  
"He's uh.. well, he's straightening things out in the office." She turned and continued to the kitchen.  
  
Cordelia's father raised his eyebrows. As soon as Cordy left the room, Journey turned to them.  
  
"See? I told ya so!"  
  
---  
  
An hour and a half later, they were all seated around the Hyperion's massive dining table, eating the Chinese stir-fry that Angel and Cordelia had "cooked". Everything was going smoothly. Cordelia's parents were enjoying the meal and Caden, despite their earlier disapproval of him because of what Journey had told them. It was kind of neat to be eating dinner with Cordelia's parents, Angel thought more than once during the meal. It was almost as if he were actually married to her. But then, they'd say the dreaded C name and Angel would fall back to reality.  
  
As Angel, Cordy, Victoria and Ethan laughed at some story Ethan had told, Journey felt a weird sensation come over him. It was like the world had suddenly sped up, yet he was moving in slow motion. It seemed like it took forever for him to move his arm or his head. His breathing began to slow down, while the sound of his heart beating grew louder and louder in his ears. He didn't know what was happening, but for some reason, he was very scared.  
  
It took him a few minutes, but he finally managed to ask, "May I be excused for a few minutes?"  
  
"Sure, go right ahead, Journey." Cordelia granted him a release from the table and then went back to talk with her father. Journey slowly stood up and walked even more slowly out of the room.  
  
Out in the main foyer, Journey decided to try to make it to his bedroom. Maybe if he laid down for a few minutes, whatever was going on would go away. It was taking him a long time to move.. it was like he was trying to run in waist-deep water. It was slow going.  
  
But he never made it up to his room. When he got to the stairs, he collapsed to the floor, unable to move or cry out for a couple of minutes. After five minutes had passed, he slowly rose to his feet.  
  
He didn't know how, but somehow he made it back into the dining hall. He tried to make out where his dad was sitting, but his vision had suddenly blurred. "Dad.. could you.. come here please?"  
  
Angel stood up immediately and walked quickly over to him. "Journey.. ?" Something was very wrong, Angel knew. Journey's eyes were vacant and lackluster.  
  
"Outside, please."  
  
Angel nodded and turned back to Cordelia, who looked back at him in concern. "Excuse us. We'll be right back."  
  
Journey had already turned and walked out of the dining hall. Angel followed him. "Journey, what's wrong?"  
  
Journey faced his dad as tears began to spill down his cheeks, in slow rivulets. He began to fall forward, and Angel caught him before he hit the floor. Holding his son's limp body, Angel said softly, "You're scaring me, Journey."  
  
Journey's unfocused eyes locked on his father. "I'm scaring myself." He managed to get out before his eyes rolled back into his head and his breathing stopped.  
  
---  
  
"Did he just call him 'Dad'?"  
  
Cordelia heard her mother's question, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the door that Angel and Journey had just left through. "Um.. Journey's parents died in a car crash when he was only a year old. He used to call Caden 'Dad' all the time before he found out the truth about his parents."  
  
Cordelia's mother went on with some meaningless conversation, while Cordelia stared worriedly at the door. She saw Journey.. and whatever was going on, wasn't good.  
  
"Cordelia? Cordelia, are you even listening to me?"  
  
Cordelia tore her gaze away from the door to glance quickly at her mother. "Yes, mother. Continue, please."  
  
Suddenly, Angel's voice pierced the air, "Cordelia! Come quick!"  
  
---  
  
Later that night…  
  
"Cordelia?"  
  
"Yeah, it's me. I'm sorry to call you so late, it's just.."  
  
"Don't apologize. I'm your husband; you can call me anytime you'd like."  
  
Cordelia's voice cracked as tears slipped down her cheeks. "I just.. I needed to talk to someone and I didn't know where else to go."  
  
"It's all right. What's wrong, baby?"  
  
"He's sick and.. and we don't know what's wrong with him."  
  
Caden frowned. "Who, Cordelia? Who's sick?"  
  
"Journey." She said softly after a few moments. "Journey's sick."  
  
"Well, did you take him to the doctor?"  
  
"No.. Angel doesn't believe in doctors."  
  
"How do you know if he'll get better if you don't take him to a doctor, Cordelia?"  
  
"It's not my decision, Caden! All right? I'm not Journey's father." Cordelia let out a shaky breath. "I didn't call you to argue with you. I called you because.. I'm scared. I'm scared that he's not going to make it."  
  
Caden grew quiet. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm sure he'll get better."  
  
"He has to." Cordelia said, wiping tears from her face. "Okay, well, I guess I'll let you go. If you need to get a hold of me, I'll be here and not at home."  
  
"All right, baby. He'll get better. I'm sure of it."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Love you too." Caden hung up the phone abruptly and wasted no time in dialing another number.  
  
"Hey. Yeah, it's me. He's sick. Yes, already. So, you know that means, don't you? He'll be ready for the sacrifice sooner than expected…"  
  
TBC 


	11. Fear, Discovery, and a Death

Author's Note: Again, thanks for all the reviews! You guys SO rock! :) Sorry about the delay with this chapter.. things got really hectic. But hey--this one's a long one!  
  
Disclaimer: Stated in first chapter. But I'll be redundant and repeat myself: I own nothing. Except for Journey, his entire personality, Milo and Charlotte Wyndham-Pryce, and Caden Michaels.  
  
----  
  
"How's he doing?" Wesley asked softly as he entered Journey's bedroom.  
  
Angel lifted his head, which had been resting in his hands. He shook his head and shrugged. "I.. I don't know."  
  
"Have you called anyone else?" Wesley walked over to the other side of Journey's bed, opposite Angel, and picked up the boy's limp hand, feeling for a pulse.  
  
"Um.. Lorne was going to try to find us this doctor who used to spend a lot of time in Caritas. But other than that... "  
  
Wesley replaced Journey's cold hand. "And where's Cordelia?"  
  
"She had to make sure her parents left okay." Angel said slowly. "But then.. she went for a walk, I guess." He looked at his unmoving child. "He really scared us. He's still scaring us. What's wrong with him?"  
  
Wesley shook his head sadly. "I don't know for sure. I'm going to go downstairs and go through the scrolls.. see if there's anything listed about a sickness or anything. And I'll go call Fred and tell her about what's happening and she can contact Gunn and Faith." He paused. "You don't think that Wolfram & Hart would have anything to do with this, do you?"  
  
"I don't know... I guess it's possible."  
  
"Nothing's really ever happened to him, now that I think about it." Cordelia added, entering the room.  
  
"What do you mean, Cordelia?" Wesley asked, as Cordelia came over to where he was standing and knelt beside the bed to hold Journey's hand.  
  
"What I mean is, if he's so special, and he's talked about in all these prophecies, why hasn't anyone come after him sooner?"  
  
Angel nodded solemnly. "She's right. I can't believe we never noticed this before. This could be someone's idea of taking Journey away from us."  
  
Wesley headed for the door. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."  
  
He left, and Angel let his head rest on Journey's bed, just inches from where he held his son's hand in his. He felt like crying. But he couldn't let himself. He couldn't allow that to happen. What if Journey was to wake up and see his Dad crying? It wouldn't be a good reassurance. In trying to stave off the unwanted tears, Angel closed his eyes and just sat there, unmoving, unbreathing, unliving, but in pain all the same.  
  
And as he sat there, holding back tears as best he could, a horrifying thought ran through his head: What if they couldn't find a cure for whatever was ailing Journey? What if Journey died?  
  
Angel wasn't sure he could handle the pain of losing Journey. He was one of the only high points in Angel's life. Besides Cordelia, Journey was the only other person that Angel truly loved with all his soul. If Cordelia were to die, Angel would be heartbroken. But he'd be able to make it if he still had Journey. If Journey were to die, what would he do? Cordelia's got Caden.. but who would he have? The simple answer: no one. The simple solution to this problem: Journey could not die.  
  
Angel raised his head to find Cordelia staring at Journey with tears in her eyes. "Angel?" she asked softly.  
  
"What is it, Cordelia?"  
  
She paused. "Do you think he's going to.. die from this?"  
  
"No. He's not." He told her.  
  
"But how can you be so sure?"  
  
"I just know this, okay? Believe me, he won't die from this." `He can't die from this. I won't let him.' "In just a day or two, he'll be back running from Milo and Charlie. In a day or two, he'll be back badmouthing your husband."  
  
Cordelia cracked a small smile. "He does like to do that."  
  
"Yeah." Angel agreed. "Just you wait, Cordy. Any day now, he'll be awake and back to being Journey again."  
  
---  
  
Angel was wrong. In three days time, Journey still hadn't awakened from whatever he was in. Nor had they found any clue as to what was happening to him. And Angel hadn't left Journey's bedside for any reason.  
  
Lorne's demon doctor had come, but couldn't explain what was happening to Journey. There wasn't anything about in the scrolls either, and Wesley concluded that they'd just have to wait it out and see what happens.  
  
Cordelia spent the last three days in and out of Journey's room, taking small trips downstairs to get something to drink or eat. She was worried sick over what was happening to Journey, but she was also worried about Angel. She'd never seen him so distraught. And frankly, it kind of scared her.  
  
She came back upstairs that day, and took her place on the other side of Journey's bed. "Angel, you can take a break if you--"  
  
He never even let her finish. "I'm fine."  
  
Cordelia nodded. "All right."  
  
They lapsed into silence again and Cordelia began to flip idly through a magazine she'd brought upstairs with her. Sighing audibly, Angel rose to his feet and began pacing the area beside Journey's bed.  
  
After about fifteen minutes, Journey's eyes fluttered. "Da-daddy?" He whispered.  
  
Angel was at his side immediately. "Journey, I'm here."  
  
"Daddy?" Journey's now-opened eyes were roaming frantically around the room. "Daddy, where are you?"  
  
Cordelia looked up as Angel grabbed Journey's hands and wrapped it in both of his. "I'm here, J. I'm right here. I'm holding your hand."  
  
Journey tentatively raised his other hand to touch Angel's face. "Daddy.. is that you?"  
  
"Yes, Journey. It's me, son." Angel reassured him.  
  
Journey's eyes stopped roaming and he shook his head slightly. He let out a shaky breath. "But... I can't see you, Daddy."  
  
Angel glanced at Cordelia. "You can't see me, or you can't see anything?"  
  
It took Journey a second to reply. "I can't see anything. I.. I'm scared, Daddy."  
  
Angel's eyes widened as he realized what this meant. He looked again at Cordelia. Her magazine fell to the floor and she muttered, "Oh, my God."  
  
Journey's head turned towards her. "Cordy? Cordy, is that you?"  
  
She leaned forward in her chair as tears welled up in her eyes. "Yes, sweetie, it's me. I'm here too." And though she'd tried to hide the fact that she was beginning to cry from Journey, a shaky sob/sigh escaped before she could stop it.  
  
Journey took his other hand and brought over towards her. She gently grabbed a hold of it, and he squeezed her hand tightly. "Don't cry, Cordy. Okay? Everything will turn out all right. I promise. So, don't worry now, okay?"  
  
Cordy nodded, though Journey couldn't see her do so. "Okay, baby. I'll stop."  
  
Journey closed his eyes as his hands began to go limp in their hands. He grinned softly. "I'm not a baby..." He trailed off.  
  
"Journey?" Angel asked. "Journey, can you hear me?"  
  
But Journey didn't respond. Cordelia shook her head sadly.  
  
"He's gone again, Angel."  
  
* * *  
  
"He woke up for a few minutes--he talked to us and everything--but then he closed his eyes, and that was that." Cordelia reported to Wesley, Faith, and Gunn downstairs.  
  
"Okay.. so he was here and now he's all comatose again?" Gunn repeated.  
  
"Basically, yeah."  
  
"Wow, that's weird." Faith added.  
  
"It's sad too." Cordelia responded.  
  
"Sad?" Wesley asked.  
  
"Well, why Journey was speaking with us, he mentioned that he couldn't see... ANYthing."  
  
They were silent for a moment, before Wesley stated optimistically, "I'm sure it's just a side effect of the illness."  
  
"Yeah, it'll probably go away once he gets better." Faith told her.  
  
"Yeah.. hope so." Cordelia sighed softly. "Anyway, where's Fred?"  
  
"She's at home with Milo and Charlie." Wesley said. "They've got.. chicken pox."  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "The pain you have to suffer to get a public education." She looked up at Wesley. "Well, what are you still doing here?"  
  
"I beg your pardon?"  
  
"What are you doing here?" Cordelia repeated slowly.  
  
"I went through the scrolls another time. I still haven't found anything."  
  
"You shouldn't be here, okay? Go home. Your kids need you. Your wife needs you."  
  
Wesley hesitated. "Are you sure you don't need me? I mean, I was going to go out with Gunn and Faith to fight the Lefflochlar demon you saw in your vision..."  
  
"Ah, don't worry `bout us." Gunn said dismissively. "We can take care of this demon with our eyes closed."  
  
"Cause kickin' demon ass is in our blood!" Faith and Gunn exchanged a high-five. "We're just waiting till nightfall."  
  
Cordelia turned back to Wesley. "See? We'll be fine. Go home, get some rest and the chicken pox, and we'll see you tomorrow."  
  
Wesley nodded. "All right. But you promise to keep us apprised of Journey's condition?"  
  
"Cross my heart."  
  
After Wesley exited, Cordelia turned to Gunn and Faith. "Are you guys sure you have everything for your demon hunt?"  
  
"We already told you that--"  
  
Cordelia held up her hands. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Kickin' demon ass is in your blood, yadda yadda, whatever." She shook her head. "What are you going to do afterward?"  
  
"Well, we're so good that we'll probably have time to catch a flick, MOM. " Faith informed her.  
  
"Cordelia, we're big boys and girls now. We don't need you worryin' `bout us." Gunn added.  
  
"Too bad. Can't help it. Worryin' is in my blood." Cordelia walked over to the stairs and back up to Journey's room.  
  
* * *  
  
One week later  
  
"Angel, I'm not tired."  
  
Angel shook his head. "I don't care whether or not you're tired. Just go sleep, okay?" Angel ordered her, sending her down the hall to his room. He couldn't be worrying about the health of both of the people he loved. He forced his eyes to stay open. He was tired too, but he could sleep later, when Journey was better. Besides, he didn't need sleep, really. But Cordelia, on the other, hadn't slept in days. Thus the reason he exiled her from Journey's room.  
  
Angel stared at his son, willing him to wake up and be okay. A week had passed and Journey hadn't awakened again. It worried Angel, but there really wasn't much he could do about it. Even Lorne had said so, when he'd come just a few days ago to pry into Journey's sleeping mind.  
  
"Sorry, sweetcakes, but I didn't find anything unusual. He'll come out of this on his own."  
  
Angel stood up and slowly began to straighten the messy sheets on Journey's bed. He thought about changing the sheets completely, but he didn't want to hurt Journey, wherever he was. So, deciding against it, he settled for straightening instead. After smoothing out the sheets and blankets, he gently lifted his son's head and fluffed the pillows behind his head. Once that was down, he carefully laid Journey's head back against the pillows. Before he sat back down in his chair beside Journey's bed, he paused a second to look at his son. Parental instincts taking over, he swept aside Journey's hair and placed a kiss on his forehead.  
  
Before he knew it, Journey's eyes had popped open and Journey had grabbed Angel's shirt with a death-man grip, yanking him towards him.  
  
"Journey?" Angel asked in alarm, struggling to free himself from Journey's powerful-than-human grasp. "Journey, what the--?"  
  
Journey's eyes glowed red briefly before he said, "Don't let her out of your sight."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Keep her safe. Keep Cordelia safe." His eyes glowed red once more and then closed, as his grip on Angel's shirt loosened.  
  
Angel didn't have time to think because the air was suddenly pierced by a scream. Leaving Journey behind, he quickly ran to Cordelia. "Cordelia, are you okay?" He asked, bursting into the room.  
  
She held her head as tears ran down her cheeks. "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God."  
  
He rushed to her, kneeling beside her. "What is it, Cordy?"  
  
"I had a vision... a bad vision."  
  
"Again? You just had one earlier today. Does it deal with the band of Talmachliers you saw in your vision this morning?"  
  
She shook her head sadly. "It was a man, no, a demon--a demon man.. killing Caden."  
  
Angel frowned. "Are you sure? Isn't he supposed to be out of town?"  
  
"That's what I thought too.. but I know what I saw, Angel. They were on a rooftop.. and this guy was yelling at Caden.. and then.. he through Caden off."  
  
Angel nodded. "Okay, I'll beep Gunn and -"  
  
"No! You can't.. they're still out with the Talmachliers."  
  
Angel closed his eyes. "I'll have to go then." He looked behind him towards Journey's room. "All right.. you stay here and--"  
  
"Uh uh. I'm coming with you. Lorne's here.. J will be okay."  
  
Angel shook his head. "You're staying here, Cordelia."  
  
She grabbed his face and looked into his deep brown eyes. "Angel.. he's.. my husband. Okay? I'm going whether you allow me to or not."  
  
Angel took one look at her tearstained eyes and his resolve crumbled. "All right.. but you're staying out of the way, understand?"  
  
He helped her to her feet and they hurriedly told Lorne of where they were going. Grabbing some weapons from the weapons cabinet, they were off. Since it was night, they jumped into Angel's car, and headed to where Cordelia's vision had taken place. They parked near the fire escape and Angel helped Cordelia up the ladder before going up himself. After a few minutes, they reached the top where they heard the sounds of a struggle. The wind was unusually strong and fierce, and they were speaking in low voices, but Angel could hear them anyhow.  
  
"Stop fighting me over this!"  
  
Cordelia turned to Angel. "What's going on?"  
  
"I don't know." He whispered back. "Hold on."  
  
Angel climbed past Cordelia to where he could peek over the top of the building without being seen.  
  
"I won't allow you to do this."  
  
He saw Caden grin evilly. "Oh, won't you? I mean, I'm sure I can get you to change your mind."  
  
"Are you sure about that?"  
  
"What's going on?" Cordelia repeated impatiently.  
  
"Shh!" Angel shushed her.  
  
"Sure I'm sure. I mean, someone who's dead can't stop the inevitable from happening."  
  
"You'd have to kill me first, though. Do you really think you can do that?"  
  
"Oh, yes, I will. Tell me what I where it is or I will kill you."  
  
Angel saw Caden fly towards the other man, in an attempt to shove the man off the building. Angel jumped onto the rooftop to stop him. He rushed towards the two with his superhuman strength and speed, but he was too late. The other man flickered, and Caden went flying through him and over the side of the building, landing with a sickening thud below.  
  
Angel stopped. "Oh, my.." He turned back, hoping Cordelia hadn't seen it, but she had. She scrambled atop the building and rushed to where she'd last seen Caden. "Caden?" She yelled. "Caden? Cade!?" She started to shake and sway. Angel grabbed her from the edge and she collapsed, sobbing in his arms.  
  
He turned his attention towards the man. "What was he talking about? What was he looking for?"  
  
The guy sighed wearily. "Are you Angel?"  
  
"Who wants to know?"  
  
"You're the father of the prophesied child, correct?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, there's only one thing that will ever kill your son. A special elixir concocted of various poisons from many dimensions. And the only time it'll virtually work is right after the sickness."  
  
"Sickness? Does this sickness involve a coma?"  
  
"Yeah. How'd you know that? He's not already experiencing this, is he?"  
  
"Uh, yeah." Angel affirmed.  
  
"Oh, dear." He looked at Cordelia. "Is she going to be all right?"  
  
"She'll be okay.. someday. That was her husband."  
  
"Well, I'm quite sorry for that. But I was chosen by the powers that be to protect the elixir from any evil, and well, her husband was just about as evil as they come."  
  
"Excuse me? Why'd the powers make the elixir in the first place?"  
  
"In case your child ever turned evil." He told him. "We couldn't have an undying, all powerful evil being just roaming the earth, now could we?" The man flickered before his eyes. "I must go. I'm .. I'm sorry for her loss." And with that, he disappeared.  
  
Angel tried to comfort Cordelia. "Cor, it'll be okay. I promise."  
  
"No, it won't be okay!" She screamed. "It won't be okay!" She pulled free from his grasp, and stood on her own two feet. "Why couldn't you have saved him? You're a champion. Why didn't you act like a champion today?"  
  
He took a step towards her. "Cordelia, calm down..."  
  
"Stay away from me!" She screeched. "And don't tell me to calm down. I do not need to calm down." She started to pace back and forth.  
  
"Cordelia, he may not even be dead. He may be just fine.. maybe he landed in a dumpster."  
  
"Don't you dare! Don't lie to me. You know he's dead. You killed him, Angel. Champion Angel killed my husband. Are you happy now?" She screamed as the tears continued to pour down her cheeks. "Now you can marry me, Angel! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!?!"  
  
Angel didn't know what to say. He backed up away from her, until he was standing close to the edge and far from Cordelia. "Cordelia.. I--"  
  
"Don't try and make excuses, Angel. You never liked Caden. You never liked Caden and me together. You let Caden die. Do you hear me? You LET him DIE, Angel." She sobbed. She walked closer to him. "I can't even stand to look at you." She said, bitterly. She stared at him, her eyes full of hatred and rage. And suddenly, her hands were on his chest, pushing him backwards and over the side of the building. "I'll never talk to you as long as I live!" He heard her say, just before he fell down five stories.  
  
Seconds later, he smacked into the ground. It hurt.. it hurt like hell, but he was fine. He laid there for a few minutes, aching in pain, before slowly sitting up. He sat up just in time to see Cordelia get into his car and take off. He shook his head gently, trying to clear it from all the crazy thoughts and the pain that was throbbing in his head.  
  
All of a sudden, he realized that he had fallen from the exact spot where Caden had fell. But as he looked around, Angel couldn't find a body anywhere. It was like Caden had never been here.  
  
"Surely not..." He thought as he stood up slowly, wincing from the pain. He searched the area as thoroughly as he could, coming up with not a single trace of Caden. The man had mentioned Caden was evil.. but was Caden.. a demon?  
  
TBC 


	12. Moping, Mourning, and a Waking Up

Author's Note: I apologize ahead of time if this chapter upsets anyone. I let my good friend, Moanda, read it and she got all teary-eyed and wouldn't speak to me for hours afterward. I will tell you what I told her: This story was meant to be Humor/Angsty. For ten chapters, we've had humor. And now it's time for a little angsty-ness. Chapter 11 was that way as will this chapter. But it will go back to the humor-likeness of before, I promise! :)   
  
Author's Note: Moanda, if you're reading this tonight, everything turned out A-OK. I think you'll know what I meant.  
  
_____  
  
A few hours later, Angel wearily opened the double doors of the Hyperion and stepped inside. Lorne was waiting for him. Angel shrugged out of his long jacket and hung it on the coat rack. "She's here, isn't she?" Angel asked, not looking at Lorne.  
  
"Upstairs with the prodigal son." Lorne affirmed. "Now what on earth did you do to her, shortcake? She was bawlin' like her cat got ran over or something."  
  
Angel sighed and ran a hand over his face and up into his hair. "Caden's dead."   
  
Lorne paused. "Oh. Guess that explains it."   
  
"She hates me."   
  
"And that would explain those dark spots in her aura." Lorne walked over to him. "I'm sure she doesn't hate you. I mean, why would she?"  
  
"Because I could have saved Caden. I was there in time. I could have saved him. But I didn't." Angel lowered his head.   
  
"Now, that doesn't sound like the champion we all know and love."  
  
"I thought.. well, it just seemed like..."  
  
"Seemed like what?" Lorne prompted.  
  
"It didn't seem like he was the one who needed the saving. In fact... it seemed like he was the one who started whatever was going on. It was like HE was the evil one."   
  
Lorne shrugged. "In that case, you did nothing wrong."  
  
Angel shook his head. "But I DID do something wrong."  
  
"And what's that, honey-child? Protecting your son? Protecting the woman you love? If I remember correctly, that's hardly a wrong."   
  
"I did something wrong." Angel repeated.  
  
"But what?" Lorne pressed. "If you're not comfortable telling me, you could always sing for me..."  
  
"Oh, sure, why don't I do that? The perfect end to the perfect day!" Angel was beginning to get agitated.  
  
"Whoa.. someone's testy." Lorne observed.  
  
"It's none of your business what I did wrong. But since you must know what I did wrong, I'll tell you!" Angel paused, looking up the stairs. He lowered his voice. "I turned her against me, that's what I did wrong. I turned her against me. I might as well be Angelus to her." He turned and stalked upstairs.  
  
"Where you going?" Lorne called after him.  
  
"To see my son."  
  
Lorne turned away. "Good luck."  
  
____  
  
Upstairs, Angel walked softly into Journey's room. Cordelia was kneeling in the floor beside Journey's bed, sobbing. Angel took a step towards her, but Cordelia lifted her head.   
  
"Don't come any closer. You've done enough."  
  
"Cordelia..."  
  
She stood up slowly, her back still turned to him. Letting go of Journey's limp hand, she turned around. "Let's get one thing straight, shall we? We... you and me.. we're not friends. Not anymore. I'd quit working here, but since I can't stop the visions, it's pretty futile. But... I don't want to talk to you and I don't want from hear you. Okay? From this point on, you are dead to me." She paused, realizing her mistake. "I mean, your presence, who you are, is dead to me. For example, Angel who?"  
  
"Cordelia, I'm sorry. I just-"  
  
She didn't even look at him as she pushed past him to get out the door.  
  
Angel sighed. He really didn't know what to do right now. Sighing, he walked over to Journey's bedside and sat down. He just sat there for a moment, staring at his son. Suddenly, he reached out and shook Journey-hard. "Wake up." When Journey didn't respond, Angel shook him once more and then, smacked his son's face. "Can't you hear me? Wake up! Okay? Wake up NOW!"   
  
Realizing just what he was doing, Angel jerked back away from Journey. "Oh, my God." He looked down at the red marks his palm left across Journey's sweet, sleeping face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He stood up from his chair and stumbled out of his room.   
  
Downstairs, he grabbed his coat and opened the door.  
  
"Where ya headed, doll face?" Lorne asked, coming into the room.   
  
"Out. Watch Journey. Page me if anything changes." Angel commanded before slamming the door behind him.   
  
Lorne rolled his red eyes. "Laconic today, aren't we? And he didn't even say 'please'." Muttering to himself, he went back to what he was doing.  
  
_____  
  
  
"Stay away from me! You LET him DIE!"  
  
"We're not friends.. not anymore."  
  
"You're dead to me."  
  
Cordelia's words kept repeating in Angel's head as he roamed the darkened streets of Los Angeles. He was in a daze. It was like he couldn't believe the day's happenings. Like he couldn't believe himself. He'd betrayed his best friend and abused his unconscious son-and he STILL had a soul. It must be his lucky day!  
  
Anyway, here he was walking slowly through L.A. without any real direction. He kept his eyes on the ground, and every subway train got his hopes up. His son was sick-and worst of all, his best friend hated him. Yep, he was just a-waitin' for an earthquake to come swallow him whole. Any minute, it'd be here to take him on his one way ticket to hell. Any minute now. He was sure of it.   
  
Something just didn't make much sense, if any. Was Caden really a demon? He'd always thought Caden was different. And Journey had always sworn that the man was evil. So, was HE a demon? Was he evil? That would certainly account for the disappearing act he pulled. What was he thinking-pulling a Superman act like that? Was he wanting someone to find out the truth? "Sorry, Mr. Michaels." Angel muttered. "A lot of weird and unexplainable things may happen in L.A., but this isn't Smallville. A person just doesn't fly and the world not know about it."  
  
And how about Cordy being married to this man.. thing? Had he ever actually loved Cordelia? Or had he just been with her to get closer to Journey? Angel wasn't sure on either account. But he certainly couldn't tell Cordelia that. For one, she'd never listen to him. And for another, it'd break her already shattered heart.  
  
God, how he wished Journey was awake. He needed someone to talk to. He couldn't talk to Lorne, Gunn, or Faith, and Wes and Fred had their hands full with their own family. What's a poor vamp like him to do?  
  
"Run around in circles all night, obviously." Angel said aloud as he realized he'd been down that same street nearly 20 times in the last hour.  
  
Sighing, Angel looked across the street and saw the old Catholic church that was a few streets away from the Hyperion. No one used it for a place of worship any longer-the parishioners had left it years ago for a newer church. And so, the beautifully architectured building sat, all alone.   
  
Like himself. All alone. Angel remembered back to the time when he'd considered the church as a possible new home/headquarters for Angel Investigations. He loved it-absolutely loved it with its intricate carvings and exquisite stained glass windows. Of course, he'd never be able to set foot inside the place-with all the crosses and all.   
  
He suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to get closer to the sacred building. Crossing the street, he quickly closed the distance between him and the elaborate building. He was drawn to the building. And he wanted to go inside, however impossible that may be.  
  
He stepped onto the first stone step, but jumped back in pain, as his foot sizzled. Bending down to examine the step, Angel noticed the tiny crosses that were carved at each end of the step. The same design that was carved in every single corner of the twenty-five steps leading to the doors. He stood up, closing his eyes, defeated. But despite his inability to enter the church, some unseen force continued to pull him in that direction.   
  
Now unable to go any further, Angel fell to his knees in front of the church. Clasping his hands together, he began to pray. It was all so natural, as if he'd done this for 240+ years instead of killing innocent people.  
  
"Lord.. I know that I don't usually pray." Angel started out. "Okay, so I don't pray at all, ever. I guess I've always just figured that you would never care about a filthy vampire like myself. But tonight, I have something to say.   
  
Today, I lost my best friend. Because I didn't save her husband, which you probably already know if you are who they say you are. Anyway, I don't have a son today, either. You see, my son, Journey, is in a coma, and none of us know exactly why. But-" He paused as the tears began to roll down his cold cheeks. "But... I.. I NEED him. I need him now. If I can't have my best friend, can't I at least have my son?"  
  
Angel looked up at the smog-filled sky. "Please, can't I have my son back? I know I've done a lot of bad in my time on this earth. And I'm sorry. Really sorry. I can never say that enough. But please, have mercy on me. Give me my son back, please. That's all I ask. Please?"  
  
But Angel's plea would not be answered for 2 long years.  
____  
  
Angel quickly scanned the room for Cordelia. When he didn't see her, he hurriedly went to place the vase of a dozen Sterling roses on her desks.   
  
Wesley looked at the flowers and then at Angel. "Angel, you know-"  
  
Angel cut him off. "I know. But I can't stop myself."  
  
Wesley could understand that. "Well.. good luck."  
  
"Thanks." He heard the door handle rattled. "There she is!" Angel ran and hid in Wesley's office, leaving the door open just enough for him to see without being seen.  
  
Cordelia entered the Hyperion quietly. She did everything quietly. She hardly said a word to anyone, save Journey. And Journey hadn't said a word in two years, so that wasn't saying much. She walked over to her desk, her head bent down, removing her jacket as she walked.  
  
"Happy Valentine's Day, Cordelia." Wesley called out cheerfully.  
  
Cordelia looked up, startled. "Oh, hey, Wesley."  
  
"How are you feeling this morning?"  
  
"All right, I guess. How's Journey?" She asked softly, placing her jacket on the back of her rolling chair.  
  
"No change from yesterday. Lorne is with him now."  
  
  
"I think I'll go-" She paused, noticing the flowers. "What are those?"  
  
"I believe they're called flowers."  
  
Cordelia gave him a look, before bending down to smell of them. "Oh, they're so beautiful!" She found the small card nestled among the roses and opened it. The rare smile gracing her sweet face faded as quickly as it had come. "Where is he?" She demanded, ripping the card in half.  
  
  
"He?" Wesley asked innocently.  
  
Cordelia shook her head as she yanked the nearby wastebasket from its position on the floor and set it atop her desk. She pulled open the top desk drawer and retrieved a pair of sharp scissors. Then, she grabbed the bundle of roses from their glass vase. "Are you watching?" She asked as she began to cut the roses into numerous pieces, making something that was once beautiful ugly as hell.  
  
Dropping the scissors, she looked at Wesley. "Why don't you pass this message along to all the employees. I don't appreciate fake sympathy from a person who doesn't care."   
  
"Cordelia-"  
  
But she ignored him completely, spun on her heels, and headed upstairs.  
  
Angel slowly came out of Wesley's office, his shoulders slumped. "I thought it would be different this year. I didn't want her to get nothing on Valentine's Day. It used to be her favorite holiday."  
  
"I know." Wesley said softly.  
  
"I thought she might change her mind about me by now."   
  
"I'm sorry, Angel." It was all the old Watcher could think of to say. And it wasn't much at that, unfortunately.  
  
Angel sighed. "Do we have any new cases to work on?"  
  
Wesley put a firm hand on Angel's shoulder. "Angel, I really think you should take a break or a vacation---"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"It's just that you've had a lot thrown at you these past two years. Too much stress like that isn't good for a person."  
  
Angel shrugged Wesley's hand off. "Doesn't matter. I'm not a person. I'm an animal."  
  
---  
  
A few hours later, Angel found himself laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He wanted so much to be in his son's room, but that's where Cordelia was at the moment, and he felt he should respect and not intrude on her privacy. Suddenly, he heard excited movement down the hall. He was about to dismiss it as nothing when he heard Cordelia squeal, "He's awake! Angel, come quick! He's awake!"  
  
TBC  
  
Author's Note (again!): All right, I'll try to get out another part before my very hectic weekend and next week. If not, I apologize, and look for a new part the week of March 8th. 


	13. Rock stars, Denial, and a Figuring Out

Chapter 13  
  
It took only seconds for Angel to get from his room to Journey's. When he got there, he saw Cordelia holding Journey tight. Journey noticed his father right away. "Dad!"  
  
Angel rushed over to embrace his son. It'd been so long since he'd hugged Journey and got hugged in return. "Journey! I've missed you so much."  
  
Journey made a face. "Aww, Dad. Don't get all mushy. That's Cordy's job."  
  
Angel grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. Are you all right? Can you move everything okay?"  
  
"Yes. Geez, what's with you people? I wasn't out THAT long."  
  
Cordelia and Angel exchanged a look.   
  
Journey caught it. "Have I?"  
  
"You've been out for 2 years." Cordelia informed him.  
  
"2 years?! No wonder you two have such sad, unhappy looks on your faces. It's amazing that you even got through 2 years without me. They must have been very boring, uninteresting years."  
  
Angel looked away. "You'd be surprised."  
  
Cordelia ignored him as usual. "So, you're okay, Journey? Can you see? Can you walk?"  
  
"I'm telling you, I'm fine! I can see. I can walk, though not very well. I think my leg muscles are a bit weakened." Journey paused. "Okay, got stuff to tell."  
  
"What's that?" Cordelia asked, repositioning herself on Journey's bed. "Tell us."  
  
"When I was out, I was shown lots of things. Like for one thing... " He trailed off, looking around the room. He grabbed a newly sharpened pencil from his bedside table. Handing it to his father, he said boldy, "Stab me."  
  
"Excuse me."  
  
Journey rolled his eyes. "You heard me. Now come on! Just take it and jab it through my chest. I promise you, it'll be fun." Angel merely stared at him as if he'd just sprouted two heads. "Okay, fine." Journey sighed dramatically. "I'll do it." He took the pencil, sharpened end facing him, and thrust it in the heart region of his chest.  
  
"Journey, no!" Cordelia and Angel both cried out at once.  
  
But he ignored them and continued to shove the lead-filled pencil through his chest. Journey winced. "Uh-ow!" He exclaimed. "That hurt more than they said it would."  
  
"Well, you just shoved a pencil through your pericardium. I'm sure it would at least sting a little." Angel grabbed Journey's arm and turned to Cordelia. "Might as well call a doctor. I knew his waking up was too good to be true. I mean, look at him. He's delirious!"  
  
"No. Dad. Okay? I'm all right. See?" He grabbed the pencil and yanked it out swiftly. Immediately the hole began to close. And once the skin was smooth and holeless, Journey looked up at them. "See? All better." He wen ton. "And that's not all. Are you ready? I can NEVER die. Okay, well, someday. Maybe. You know when I have a worthy successor and all that."  
  
"Where did you learn all this?" Cordelia asked, amazed.  
  
"From Skip. He taught me lotsa things."   
  
The name sounded familiar to Angel. "Skip? Is he very.. metal-ly?"   
  
"Yeah! He said you may remember him. Anyway, I'll tell you guys everything else later. But right now, we've got bigger demons to slay. For example, where's Caden?"  
  
"He's gone." Angel said at the exact same time Cordelia told Journey, "He's dead."   
  
"Dead?" Journey repeated. "Dead? That's.. well, basically, that's impossible." He said to them, looking from his Dad to Cordy and back again.  
  
Cordelia visibly stiffened and scooted away from Angel on the bed. "It IS possible, Journey. All right? He's dead. Your father took care of that."  
  
Angel closed his eyes and let his shoulders drop. Obviously, he'd have to live with this for the rest of his life on top of all the other guilt he was feeling for the centuries of being a killing machine.   
  
Journey shook his head sadly. "Dad, tell her." When Angel made no move to say anything, Journey wen ton. "Cordelia, he's not dead. He never died that day."   
  
"What--?"  
  
"Let me finish. Remember how I always though he was an evil psychopath? Well, turns out, I was right. In fact, that evil bastard wanted to kill me of all people!"  
  
"Hey! Watch your language, demon child." Cordy scolded. "I know you mean well, but I'm not sure I believe you, sweetheart. You've always had an active imagination."  
  
"But Cordelia, you HAVE to believe me. All right? Bad things will happen if you don't."  
  
"Bad things? J, what do you mean?" Angel asked, growing more and more concerned by the minute.  
  
He turned to Angel. "He's not dead, Dad. You know that already. You know how he got up after that fall and how he ran away."  
  
"Yes. I do know that, Journey. Now, what of it?"  
  
"He's coming back. He's going to try again."  
  
"Try again what? I mean, you said it yourself: you can't die." Cordelia interrupted. She was beginning to get confused.  
  
And Journey was beginning to lose his patience. Sighing audibly, he turned to his father. "Damn, Dad! Don't you tell her anything?"  
  
"Journey Alan Chase, you are so grounded." Cordy reprimanded. "You need your little mouth washed out with soap, I swear!"  
  
"Don't say crap like that anymore, Journey. Not until you're 18." Angel added. He turned towards Cordelia, although Cordy made no move to face him. "There's an elixir that the Powers keep. Apparently, it's the only thing that can kill Journey."  
  
"Yep!" Journey beamed. "I'm invincible!"  
  
Angel shook his head. "Don't get that kind of attitude about it, Journey. Now, when is Caden coming? And does he have the elixir?"  
  
"In a few days, and yes. He stole it from the Powers a few days ago."   
  
"No! Okay, just stop it!" Cordelia interjected. "I want the two of you to get something straight. Caden. Is. Dead. My husband is dead. Angel let him die. And I don't appreciate you saying that he's roaming the earth when he's not. It's morbid and rude."  
  
"You never saw him dead and there was never a burial. Number one rule of soap operas, Cordelia, if you don't see a body, the person's NOT dead. So chill out, Cordy."  
  
"Journey, listen to me-"  
  
"No, YOU listen to ME. My dad did not 'kill' your precious, evil husband. All right? So quit blaming and accusing him of something he had zero control over. My father did nothing wrong. And you know what? Caden IS alive, whether you choose to believe it or not."  
  
"I don't."   
  
"Well, maybe, when he busts through the doors downstairs and marches up here and kills me, you'll think otherwise."  
  
Cordy's eyes flashed with anger and she stood up abruptly. "Like father, like son. Just because you hate someone doesn't mean you can continue to attack that person even in death. Just let him rest in peace, all right?" She looked at both of them, a disgusted look gracing her face. "I've heard enough. And I've HAD enough---of both of you." Glaring at them one last time, she turned and stalked out of the room.   
  
"Well, THAT went well." Journey noted.  
  
"Yeah. Well, welcome to my world."  
  
"Aww.. I sorry, Dad." Journey gave him a quick hug. "Now go downstairs and fix me somethin' to eat!"  
  
"No, J. You're a big boy now. You're ten years old. You can fix it yourself." Angel told him. "Besides, you probably have more to tell me... right?"  
  
Journey sighed. "Okay, fine. I'll fill you in, but then it's eating time, okay?"  
Journey didn't wait for an answer before he began to tell him all that he'd learned in his two years of absence.  
  
___  
  
An hour or so later, Angel helped a wobbly Journey into the downstairs kitchen. He picked up his son and placed him on the countertop. "Okay, so I call this number, right?"  
  
"Hey! Not until you feed me!"   
  
Angel rolled his eyes, but opened a nearby cabinet and pulled out a jar of peanut butter. He tossed it to Journey. "Here you go."  
  
Journey caught it. "Wow-Dad, you're such an amazing father! Taking care of me like this... you should win the Dad of the Year award. I mean, really."   
  
"Shut up, okay? I want to get this over and done with. I want you to be safe, all right."  
  
"Fine, fine." Journey opened the peanut butter jar. "Do I at least get a spoon, or some bread?"  
  
"If you get it yourself."  
  
Journey looked at his father. "Nah." He looked at his hand and then looked back at his father. "I'll be all right." He said, plunging his right hand into the sticky peanut butter. He pulled it back out, and licked the gooey stuff off his fingers. "Hey! This is good."  
  
"Okay, so Skip told you to have me call this number, and this guy could tell me about Caden, right?" Angel asked as he picked up the phone.  
  
"Yep." Journey replied. He was a sight to see, sitting there on the kitchen countertop in his pajamas, peanut butter smeared all over his face. He licked his lips. "Mmm! Peanut butter is yum-my!"  
  
Angel threw his son a towel, as well as a disgusted look. "Don't get that everywhere. And I'd like to remind you of the fact that you're ten years old and you were not raised in a barn."  
  
Journey made a face. "You're just mad that you can't taste this. Ha! And you know what? I got gypped along the way. I have to make up for being eight and nine before I can suddenly be ten." Journey paused. "Hey.. where's the rest of the gang?"  
  
"Wesley left early because he and Fred and the kids are taking off for a vacation weekend, and who knows where Gunn and Faith are. You are aware that it's Valentine's Day, aren't you?"  
  
"I am now. So, uh, where's Lorne?"   
  
At that moment, Lorne swung into the kitchen. "Hey, are you talking to yourself about me again, Angel? And just so you know, lil' Journey is a-" He noticed Journey's sticky self sitting there in the kitchen. "Oh, there you are! I was wondering where you'd gotten off to."  
  
"Lorne! I've missed you." Journey cried out.   
  
"Just look at you... all alive now-walkin', talkin', and eatin' what looks like peanut butter."   
  
"Want some?" Journey held out his jar.  
  
Lorne could just imagine that sticky-ness all over his new blue suit. "No.. uh, that's okay, kiddo. Not much of a peanut butter man myself. Mix a little rum in and MAYBE..." Lorne trailed off. "Anyway, so guess what came while you were sleeping?" He asked as he walked to the refrigerator door and pulled out a carton of milk.  
  
  
Journey took in another handful of the peanut butter. "What? What is it?"  
  
"Drum roll, please." Lorne said, handing the carton to Journey. "A new karoake machine."  
  
"Whoo hoo!" Journey exclaimed after taking a big gulp of milk.   
  
"Yeah, exactly. So, I was thinking we could sing the night away.. you know start out with a little Diana Ross and then move onto some Aretha. Whaddayasay?"  
  
"As long as we can sing 'Respect', I'm in."   
  
Angel covered the mouthpiece on the phone. "Can you two please shut up? Can't you see I'm on the phone here?"  
  
Lorne rolled his eyes. "Guess some people just don't appreciate the classics."  
  
"I agree." Journey replied.  
  
Angel glared at them. "I'm not going to ask you guys again." Angel turned his back to them, trying to listen. "Yes, can I speak with Lindsay, please? Yes."  
  
Lorne grabbed Journey by the arm and helped him off the counter. "Why don't you go get cleaned up? And then we can fill this house with soul!"  
  
Journey left behind his peanut butter and followed Lorne out of the kitchen. Angel was thankful for the silence. It was hard enough to make this call without some hooligans screaming in the background. He hadn't talked to Lindsay.. in well.. a decade at least.  
He heard someone pick up the phone on the other end.  
  
"This is Lindsay." It'd been years, but the guy's voice hadn't changed.  
  
"Hello Lindsay. Do you happen to remember who this is?"  
  
He must have recognized the voice because just as Angel finished his sentence, Lindsay said, "No! No way. How did you get this number?"  
  
"An investigator never reveals their sources. Anyway, I need your help."   
  
"That's journalists. And who's to say I'll ever help you?"  
  
"I just need you to tell me about a man."  
  
"Well, too bad. Just leave me alone and never call here again."   
  
"Lindsay... wait. How's your hand doing these days?" He heard Lindsay sigh. "You know, the evil hand. The one I helped you find out information about?"  
  
There was a pause. "What do you want to know?"  
  
"Ever heard of a man named Caden Michaels?"  
  
"Caden? Yeah, we went to law school together. His dad was one of the senior partners of Wolfram & Hart. Why?"   
  
Angel swallowed hard. And Cordy had been married to that man?! "He's after my son. Do you know anything else about him?"  
  
"Wait-you have a child now? Are you human?"  
  
"No."   
  
"Then how the he---- er, how did that happen?"  
  
"Long story. Do you know anything else about Caden?" Angel repeated.   
  
"Um.. I think his father was half demon."  
  
"You think?!"  
  
"I'm pretty sure he was. He wasn't a vampire or anything. But he was half demon. Because when we were interning at Wolfram & Hart one summer, Caden was telling me about he was a quarter demon..." There was voice in the background and Lindsay paused. "Okay, sweetheart, Daddy'll be there in just a second."  
  
"You have a child now?" Angel asked.  
  
"Yeah, so? I'm not evil.. I just have an evil hand. Are we done here?"   
  
"Yeah. Thanks."  
  
"Your welcome."  
  
Angel hung up the phone and went to find Lorne and his son.  
  
* * *  
  
He found them in Lorne's quarters, singing their hearts out. It took them a few moments to notice he was even there, and when they finished belting out the last strains to some Billie Holiday song, he interrupted. "Lorne, you didn't happen to see Cordelia leave, did you?"  
  
"Uh, yes, I did."   
  
"Okay, do you know if she took a cab? Or my car?"   
  
Lorne shook his head firmly. "No. She walked."   
  
"All right. Maybe I can make it to her house before she does." He paused before going out the door. "Do you mind watching Journey?"  
  
"No problem. He's the best back-up singer a guy could ask for."  
  
"Thanks." Angel turned to leave.   
  
"Dad..." Journey had picked up in the urgency in his father's voice. "Is something wrong?"  
  
Angel looked at him. "Don't worry about it, rockstar. Everything will turn out okay." He left the room, muttering, "God, I hope that's true."   
  
____  
  
"C'mon Dennis! Open up!" She said quietly for the sixth time. Searching through her bag for her keys, Cordelia just realized how glad she was to have kept this apartment throughout her marriage to Caden. It had become her safe haven-her place to get away from it all. Plus, she'd never gotten used to living in Caden's huge house. And so, after his death, she'd moved back home to Dennis.  
  
Finding her keys, she quickly unlocked the door and stepped inside to a... darkened apartment. "Dennis?" It was so odd. Dennis usually unlocked the door for her and turned on a few lights. But tonight, nothing. She must have done something to make him mad.  
  
"Dennis, I'm sorry. Whatever I -" She stopped. The room felt.. different. The air felt different-full of electricity, full of sparks. Something was VERY wrong.  
  
She hadn't turned on a light yet, and for that, she was thankful. She began to back up slowly to the closed door behind her, looking wildly around in the dark until her body suddenly hit something. But it wasn't the door that she hit-it was a person. A person who immediately wrapped his arm around her face so she couldn't scream. A person who leaned in and whispered loudly in her ear.  
  
"Honey.. I'm home!"  
  
  
TBC  
  
Author's Note: I'll be out of town for a few days, but I'll try to write while I'm away and post a new part when I get back. Thanks for all the support/feedback! :) You guys R-O-C-K!! :) 


	14. Death, Blood, and Family

Author's Note: Okay, sorry about the long delay. I know it's been almost a month, but I've been sick and busy. This chapter has been one of the hardest to write. For some reason, I opted to be more descriptive this time around instead of lots of dialogue. I don't know why I wrote this chapter this way, but I like it and I hope you will too. From here on out, this story will be on the downhill slope… meaning that it's almost over. By chapter 20, this story will be completed.. and hopefully, I'll have "Journey" done by the time the new Angel's start airing.  
  
Thanks for any and all feedback. And thanks for reading. :)  
  
Chapter 14: Death, Blood, and Family  
  
"Caden?" Cordelia choked out, struggling to free herself from his grip.  
  
"The one and only." He kissed her cheek lightly. "Did you miss me?" He spun her around so that she was now facing him. A light came on from somewhere in the apartment.  
  
"You—You're supposed to be d-dead." Cordelia sputtered.  
  
"You're supposed to be de-ad." Caden mocked. "Cordelia, you of all people should believe in the supernatural, what with your line of work and all."  
  
Cordelia wished she wasn't alone. "How'd you get in here?"  
  
Caden shrugged. "I'm a quarter demon. I can do whatever I want to. Plus, I had a little scuffle with your ol' pal, Dennis. Probably won't be seeing him much again."  
  
"Wait a minute—you're part demon?"  
  
"Yep." Noticing the astounded look on Cordelia's face, he added, "You know, it really should be a question you ask your boyfriend before you decide to marry him. Like, do you want kids? What kind of toothpaste do you prefer? Are you totally human or just half?"  
  
"What the hell do you want?"  
  
"Ooh! No need to take that tone with me, Princess."  
  
"Don't' call me 'Princess.' Ever!" Cordelia told him, her voice rising slightly. "That name is reserved to come from the lips of real men."  
  
"Oh, so I'm not a 'real man'? Well, neither was Doyle or the Groosalugg, for that matter."  
  
"How---"  
  
"Isn't it wonderful how I know EVERYthing about you, yet you know nothing about me?"  
  
"Stop it! Okay? And get out of my house!"  
  
"Oh, I intend to, precious. Right after you do everything I tell you to do."  
  
"And what's that?"  
  
Caden pulled a small vial out of his coat pocket. "Give Baby Angel this elixir, will you?'  
  
"No." Cordelia said firmly. "You'll not hurt a hair on Journey's head. You won't get near him with that stuff."  
  
Caden just looked at her. "Well, duh." He smiled evilly. "Besides, that's what I have YOU for, sweetheart."  
  
Cordelia started to back away from him. "No. Over my dead body."  
  
"Oh, I'm sure that can be arranged." He stepped towards her. "Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. You're all alone. You don't have a knight in shining armor to rescue you now. You've been too busy being a royal bitch to him the last two years."  
  
Cordelia closed her eyes and whispered, "Angel."  
  
"Yes. Your wonderful hero." He leaned in close and whispered, "You should have went with him when he confessed his feelings for you. At least you would have been married to someone who actually loved you."  
  
Cordelia drew her breath in sharply. God, how did she get in such a mess? Journey was right.. Caden WAS evil. But she hadn't realized it until it was too late. Maybe too late for all of them. Cordelia looked around the room. If only she could stop him.. but the only weapons she had were to kill vampires. She was pretty much defenseless. And besides, Caden was a demon. Who knew what all it took to kill him? All she could do was hope for a miracle. And stall until that miracle arrived.  
  
"So, uh.. why do you want to kill Journey?"  
  
"My, my, aren't we chatty today?" Caden sneered. "If you must know, he's a threat. To all of us."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Look at it this way, baby. Angel will shanshu someday. And before, the demon world was to rejoice and go back to doing what they did before Angel went on his redemption crusade. Now, however, thanks to that snotty-nosed brat of a child, he'll take over the fight once Angel shanshus. And we won't get the party that we very much deserve. We'll never get to go back to our normal lives."  
  
"You're a demon, Caden. You're anything BUT normal."  
  
"Right you are." Caden sighed. "I'm tired of this. It's killing time, Princess."  
  
"Well, kill away then, starting with me. And I hope you enjoy it too, because I can promise you that's about as far as you're going to get."  
  
"Oh, can you?" She saw a flash of light to her left and realized just what he was holding. A dark-handled knife with a 10-inch blade was gleaming in the moonlight. She shuddered involuntarily as he clamped a hand over her mouth and slammed her head against a nearby wall. The room seemed to get darker and she felt the coolness of the blade beneath her skin as well as the sharpness of it as it cut through her neck. The sticky blood trickled down her body and she thought she saw Caden stick his finger in the warm blood and taste it.  
  
He cut her again. The slit was wider than the first one on her neck, and more blood spilled out. She knew she should fight back, but she was so tired. So very tired. All she wanted… was to sleep. To lay down and never open her eyes again, ever. She closed her eyes.. only to open them again. She had to stay awake, had to stay conscious. But the pain was SO much. And it was so much easier to close her eyes and just forget what was happening to her.  
  
She left her eyes open, staring as he slit her skin in a few more places, and feeling the blood bubble out. The urge to close her eyes from this all was stronger than ever, and after a minute of holding out, Cordelia closed her eyes. The darkness overtook her quickly, leaving behind the cuts, pain, blood, and the betrayal that is Caden.  
  
Her body went limp in his arms. He threw the knife aside, and laid her gently on the floor, the blood forming a puddle around her. Caden looked at her a moment, beautiful even in the first stages of death. He bent down and brushed his lips against her cheek softly. "Night, Princess."  
  
* * *  
  
Angel came to an abrupt stop across the street from Cordelia's apartment building after speeding down the back-roads of L.A. He hurriedly glanced at the windows to Cordy's apartment and noticed no lights. Perhaps, he'd beaten her home. Perhaps, he hadn't, since he could feel in his gut that he was a little too late.  
  
He sprinted across the eerily quiet street and into the building. He opted for the stairs instead of the always-slow elevator that was prone to stop in between floors. He took the stairs two at a time. In less than a minute, he was on Cordelia's floor, and from the stairwell, he could see that her door was slightly open. He made his way quietly but quickly to her door, listening. It was quiet, except for the sound of water running and the light hum of a happy someone.  
  
He peered into the apartment through the slightly open door and seeing no one, he pushed it open. He stepped inside, noting no resistance from Dennis. For some reason, Dennis had never taken kindly to Angel and always tried to prevent him from entering Cordy's home. Angel has had to duck flying objects on occasion. But not this night. He entered with no problem.  
  
The lights were off, but that was okay with him. He could see much better in the dark anyhow. He crept through the apartment silently, still hearing the humming which seem to be coming from the kitchen. He started towards the kitchen, but he tripped on something lying on the floor and down he went. He tried to fall quietly, but you can't always pick how loud you fall. Fortunately, not a sound was made as he fell to the floor. Thankful for that, he looked at the intrusive object that had caused this. He saw a shoe.. which was attached to foot, that was attached to a leg. Angel's eyes widened as he sat up. He could Cordelia's weakened, bloody body laying on the floor. She looked… dead. He moved soundlessly to her head, and he felt for a pulse by laying two fingers to the left side of her neck. He found a pulse.. a weak pulse, but a pulse nonetheless. Looking over her, assessing the wounds, he noticed that there was so much blood. Too much blood. He looked away because it was making him sick. And he was a vampire! He drank blood on a day to day basis.  
  
But this was different. It was different when someone you love is mortally wounded.  
  
The humming grew louder. Angel felt such rage for Caden. He couldn't wait to break the guy's neck over everything he'd done.. to all of them, but most of all, what he'd done to Cordy. But, he also couldn't fight Caden knowing that Cordelia would probably die in about ten minutes if she wasn't gotten the help she needed. So, he picked up her phone that was lying nearby and called the paramedics. Hopefully they wouldn't be too long.  
  
He looked at her one last time before standing up. She looked so weak, so vulnerable. He didn't want to leave her. He wanted to grab her and hold her in his arms until help arrived. But he had to deal with Caden. Before standing, he gently bent and kissed her on the forehead. "Don't worry, Cordy." He whispered. "Everything will be all right."  
  
He stood up and continued towards the kitchen. When he got outside the doorway, he peeked inside. Caden was in there, rinsing the blood off his knife and cleaning the blood off the handle. He had gloves on now, keeping his fingerprints from replacing the very ones he was washing away.  
  
Caden suddenly threw the knife down and looked away. "You know, for a creature of the night, you're not all that sneaky."  
  
Angel stepped into the kitchen. "Apparently. And you're not nearly as evil as you think you are."  
  
"Excuse me?" Caden said, taking off his gloves. "Did someone just ask me to stake 'em?"  
  
Angel took a step forward. "Caden, why are you here?"  
  
"To kill your son. And you, if you'd like." Caden replied, matter-of- factly. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Fulfilling a promise." Angel took another step forward.  
  
"And what promise might that be? You're a little too late to save your true love, if that's what it is."  
  
Sirens began to wail quietly in the distance. "Oh, no. That's not it. It's a promise, that I made to you, oh, about four years ago."  
  
Caden frowned. "What are you talking about?"  
  
Angel took one final step forward, so that now they were face to face. He whispered, " If you ever, in any way, hurt her, under any circumstances, I will kill you. Make no mistake about that." Before Caden could react, Angel's fist slammed into Caden's nose, crushing it. "Does that jog your memory?"  
  
Caden let the blood run freely down his face. He touched a hand gently to his broken nose. "That's not exactly a crack I like to hear."  
  
"Well, get used to it." His fist made contact with Caden's chest, bruising the ribs and knocking the air out of the quarter-demon. Angel whirled around, allowing a fan kick to fly into Caden's face, which knocked him to the floor. Angel grabbed a frying pan that was lying on the countertop and began whaling into Caden, hitting him in the back, stomach, neck, and head repeatedly.  
  
Caden, choking on his own blood, spit out a tooth. "Hey.. no fair! You didn't say 'Ready, Set, Go.'"  
  
"Contrary to how you were raised, Caden, you don't get a heads-up on everything." Angel said, as the frying pan smacked into Caden's chest. "But here's a tip—I'm gonna kill you. Now, you can either tell me if there's a specific trick to killing a scoundrel like yourself, OR I'll just keep on beating you up like I'm some schoolyard bully after your lunch money."  
  
Caden laughed. "I'll tell you. But you'll never kill me, so maybe I should just let you wear yourself out."  
  
"Tell me." Angel growled.  
  
"You… have to make me cry. Otherwise, you'll just beat the human out of me at the rate you're going."  
  
"Make you cry? That's all I have to do?"  
  
"It's not as easy as it sounds." Caden rolled over on his side. "We could be here ALL night."  
  
Angel glanced around the room and noticed one of Cordelia's purses lying on the table. "I don't think so. 'Cause I have this, you see."  
  
Caden looked up to see Angel holding a purse. Caden started to laugh, but blood came out of his mouth and he coughed instead. He looked at Angel with amusement in his eyes. "And just what do you think you're going to do with that? Beat me over the head a few times? Make me wear it? Do you not realize that it's just a purse?"  
  
"Oh, I can see how you might think that it's just a purse. But it's because you don't have x-ray vision like I do."  
  
"X-ray vision? That was never in the reports about you. You made that up!"  
  
"Did I? Because I happen to know that there's something in here to make you cry. It makes everyone cry." Angel shook the purse. "And besides, haven't you ever heard that saying, 'Don't believe everything you read'?"  
  
"Well, I still don't think you have x-ray vision. Who are you trying to be? Superman?"  
  
Angel sighed. "Do you want to know what's in the purse or not?"  
  
"By all means, yes! Show us what's behind zipper number one, Houdini!"  
  
"Are you always this sarcastic?" Angel asked. "Wait—don't answer that. Okay, close your eyes and I'll tell you when to open them."  
  
"You know, it'd be pretty stupid for me to just close my eyes because you told me to, but since I'm so sure that you can't make me cry, I'm going to do it anyway."  
  
"Well, ducky for you." Angel waited for Caden to close his eyes and then he pulled out a can of pepper spray that he knew Cordy always carried in her purse. Bending down to Caden's eye level, he aimed the sprayer at Caden's eyes and told him to open his eyes.  
  
Caden complied, and Angel doused his eyes with the pepper spray. He used the entire contents of the can before he paused to see if it had worked. Hopefully it had. Otherwise, he'd have one pissed off Caden.  
  
Angel stood up and watched as Caden disintegrated before his eyes. It had almost seemed too easy… but he didn't have time to sit and contemplate if Caden was truly dead. He could hear Cordelia stirring in the other room. "Angel…"  
  
He ran to her. "Cordelia…"  
  
Her eyes fluttered. "Angel.. Angel.."  
  
"It's okay. I'm right here. You're not alone."  
  
"Don't…. leave me, Angel. …..Please…. don't leave… me." She managed to get out.  
  
"I won't. I promise I won't leave you. Not today or any day after."  
  
She nodded slowly. "Angel… I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?"  
  
She paused. "For.. everything."  
  
He took her hand. "Don't worry about it, all right. Just concentrate on getting better from all this. Think of the future, not the past."  
  
A tear slipped slowly down Cordelia's face. "It hurts. It .. hurts.. so bad."  
  
"I know. I know it does." He listened, straining his ears for any sound of the sirens getting closer. He couldn't wait any longer. "Okay, Cordy. I'm going to pick you up, all right? I'll try not to make it hurt any more than it already does, but if I do, I'm sorry."  
  
She nodded. He gently slid his arm underneath her head, and one underneath her legs and lifted her up off the floor. Grabbing a blanket off the couch, he draped it over her body, and headed downstairs.  
  
He stepped out into the cold night air just as the rain began to fall. The paramedics arrived a few minutes later, and they took Cordelia from his arms and strapped her to a stretcher. She wasn't conscious any more; she'd slipped out of it again as he'd taken her downstairs. There was blood all over him, her blood soaking his shirt, her blood on his hands. His car sat across the street, top down, droplet after droplet of rain splashing on the seats and puddling in the floor. But all he could think was one thing.  
  
He grabbed the nearest paramedic. "Is she going to be okay? Is she going to live?"  
  
"It's hard to say. She's lost a lot of blood. Her vitals are dropping. What happened in there?"  
  
"I don't know. I.. uh, found her like that."  
  
The paramedic looked at Cordelia who was being loaded into the ambulance. He turned back to Angel. "Look, if your girlfriend makes it through the night, she'll be extremely lucky. If she doesn't…" He trailed off.  
  
Angel stared at Cordelia. "Thanks.. but.. she's not my girlfriend."  
  
"How can we contact her family? We'll need someone to fill out the necessary paperwork."  
  
Angel paused. "I.. I'm her only family. I'll fill out all the paperwork you need."  
  
TBC 


	15. Changes, Reminiscing, and a Homecoming

A/N 1: Okay, sorry about the long delay. It's been… *checks her calendar* yep, over a month. But it's not my fault, honest!! I was busy.. AND I had the worst case of writer's block I've ever had in my life(honest on that too!!). It was crazy. Really!  
  
A/N 2: Also, you might be a bit confused at the beginning of this chapter, but it'll make sense in the end. So, don't worry, k's?  
  
A/N 3: And if you're still a fan of this story after all this time, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Hugs and kisses all around! :) (Don't mind me.. I'm a bit melohdramatic!!)  
  
Chapter 15:  
  
Four Years Later  
  
"Is Dad back yet?" A deep voice startled Lorne, who knocked over the martini he was fixing.  
  
"No, he's not." Lorne grabbed a towel and began sopping up the alcoholic drink. "He probably won't be back until eight or nine o'clock tonight."  
  
Journey nodded. "Okay, well, tell him that I said 'Hi' when he finally shows up." He turned to leave.  
  
"Stop right there, Mister. You can tell him yourself." Lorne paused. "Unless, of course, you have somewhere more important to be."  
  
Journey turned back slowly. "Well.. I AM going out tonight."  
  
"With who?"  
  
"These kids I met this morning."  
  
"Oh. So, since you met these guys this morning, you really don't know them, do you?"  
  
"I know enough."  
  
"Oh, do you now? Well, Mr. Know-It-All, what's their names?"  
  
Journey rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. What a ridiculous question." He paused. "Jake, Michael, Gage, and Trevor."  
  
"Okay, Precious. And just what are Jake, Michael, Gage, and Trevor's last names?" Lorne set about making himself another martini.  
  
"Uh…"  
  
"Just as I thought, Mr. Smarty Pants is also Mr. Clueless."  
  
Journey let out an exasperated sigh. "Ugh! What does it even matter?"  
  
"Journey, I will not let you go out and roam the streets with strangers."  
  
"They're not strangers, okay? I know them."  
  
"And that automatically makes it all okay? Let me tell you something: I don't know them. So, unless you plan on introducing these kids to me, you're staying home tonight."  
  
"Lorne, that's not even fair!! I can't introduce them to you. Have you forgotten the fact that you're green?!"  
  
"Have you forgotten the fact that you're immortal? Or the fact that your father is as well? And you didn't forget to tell them that your Daddy's a vampire, did you?"  
  
"Okay, fine. I get your point. But what then? Am I supposed to roam the earth, friendless for eternity?"  
  
"Journey, that's not what I mean. You've just got to be careful whom you hang out with. You're not like other kids."  
  
"Don't you think I know that?" Journey began to pace. "So, what am I supposed to do, O Wise One? Become a social recluse, like my Father?"  
  
"No. We sure don't need another Angel in the world. You're just going to have to be careful and choose your buddies wisely, that's all."  
  
"And just who am I supposed to choose?"  
  
Lorne took a sip of his martini. "I don't know. Milo and Charlie?"  
  
Journey made a face. "I haven't hung out with them in years. They were SO boring."  
  
"Well, maybe they're not so boring now. You don't know unless you give them a try."  
  
He nodded. "Okay. I'll think about it."  
  
"Good." Lorne gulped down the remainder of his martini.  
  
Journey stood there for a moment. "So can I go out with the guys?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You know, you're not my Dad, Lorne. I don't even have to listen to you."  
  
"I know that. But I also know that your dad left you in my care." Lorne paused. "Just like I know that he's missed you and he can't wait to see you…. tonight."  
  
Journey stared back, his dark eyes masking the fury behind them. He whirled around, ready to leave. He paused, though, and spoke softly: "Well, it's about time he showed some interest in me."  
  
Before Lorne could respond, Journey shoved the door open and was gone.  
  
Lorne sighed and set about pouring himself another drink. Opting this time for some scotch, he uncapped the bottle and let the alcoholic liquid dance into his glass. Suddenly, the door swung open, and Lorne was no longer alone in the kitchen.  
  
"What can I do for you, sweetheart?" He asked, without looking up. He didn't have to look up to know when Cordelia entered a room.  
  
She walked over to him and sat down on the countertop. "So, today's the day, right? The day Angel will return?"  
  
"Yes, Cordy-baby. Today's the day."  
  
A smile lit up her face. "Good." She sighed happily. "I can't wait to see him. I mean, it's been so long." She gently ran a finger across the scar that now marred her beautiful neck. "I haven't gotten to say 'thank you' yet, you know?" She remarked sadly.  
  
Lorne nodded. "I know, baby doll. But that's not your fault at all. You were very different two years ago when Angel left." He smiled at her. "You've come a long way since then, Cordelia."  
  
"I know. But it still upsets me that I let 4 years go by without thanking him for saving my life that night."  
  
"Better late than never, right? And tonight's your chance."  
  
Cordelia nodded, taking in what he was saying. "I can't wait to see him. I wonder if he looks different."  
  
"Well, seeing as how he's dead, and he hasn't changed much in over 200 years, I'm thinking no." He looked at her for a moment. "Why don't you go out and buy a new dress or something for Angel's welcome home party tonight? And take Journey with you. It'll give him something to do too."  
  
Cordy hopped down off the counter. "Okay, I'll take the little tyke off your hands for now. But we'll be back soon. I don't want to miss Angel getting home."  
  
"All right, sweetie. Have fun." Cordelia waved good-bye and exited through the swinging kitchen door.  
  
Lorne leaned against the counter and sighed.  
  
* * * *  
  
Hello there.  
  
Yes, I do mean you.  
  
C'mon, have a seat. I'll be your navigator for this particular trip.  
  
Can I get your anything? A tequila shot? Martini? Rum and Coke? A reading?  
  
Oh, well. Just thought I'd try.  
  
Anyway, I've decided to share with you my views of just what's happened these last few years.  
  
As you may have already noticed, Journey isn't quite the youngster he used to be. No siree, they adventurous child is now a full-blown, pretty darn independent teenager.  
  
Cordelia may seem like the same old Cordy to you. But in reality, she's anything but. If you'd been around the last four years, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about.  
  
Yep, it's been four very long and trying years. Two of which we'd been left totally and completely Angel-less. And so, since none of you know, I'm going to take the time out of my extremely busy schedule to fill you in on what you've missed.  
  
Now, we're gonna go fast, in order to finish this little trip down memory lane before Angel returns. So, hang on tight and keep up, 'cause I'll not be repeatin' myself.  
  
First off, after that day, Cordy was in a lot of trouble. She'd lost a lot of blood and had to have numerous blood transfusions. She was also in intensive care, because her body had gone into shock.  
  
It was touch and go for a while. We weren't sure if she'd ever pull through.  
  
But eventually, she did. Our Cordy always was a fighter (still is, too). And though she finally healed physically, it took longer for her to heal emotionally. Her whole state of mind changed drastically. She was no longer the independent champion, fighting bravely by Angel's side.  
  
She was now the dependent survivor, clinging to Angel's side for dear life.  
  
The sparkle had gone out of her eyes and her opinionated views were quietened. Without the bright light that was Cordelia, the Hyperion soon turned into a tomb.  
  
Though the change in personality affected all of us, it affected Angel the most. He felt that it was his fault that Cordy was harmed in the first place, even though we all tried to convince him otherwise. Angel also thought that this total change in Cordy was his fault.  
  
Because he blamed himself and because he's Angel, he took Cordelia in and began taking care of her. She could no longer stay alone; every little noise, movement, or thing frightened her. She was also deathly afraid of the dark and she had nightmares every night. And so, they began to share the same room. Whenever he left the hotel, she either went with him, or begged him to lock her in the basement, so she'd be safe from all harm. Basically, Cordy and Angel became attached at the hip.  
  
And even though he helped Cordy out those times more than he will ever know, the guilt he felt mounted with each passing day. After two years of being a permanent babysitter to a woman that was thirty-four years old, he was practically searching for a reason to leave.  
  
And he got one. One day, he received a call from Willow. After a rather lengthy conversation with her behind close doors (his Siamese twin Cordelia waited impatiently outside), we finally learned that Buffy was pregnant and that the old gang was wanting Angel's help in controlling the Hellmouth until after the baby's arrival.  
  
Angel wasted no time in offering his help to those poor, defenseless people. (Yes, the poor defenseless part was a joke… sorry.)  
  
So, anyway, Angel left us. He called every once in a while, but for the most part, we were on our own. That was A-Okay for Wes, Fred, Gunn, and Faith. They all had lives of their own to live, anyhow.  
  
But as for me, I became Angel, in a sense. With his absence, I became twin to Cordelia and insta-father to new teen Journey. Neither was an easy task, lemme tell you.  
  
Journey was upset that Angel had left; though he wouldn't talk about it. Since the day Angel left, a volcano of hatred began to build inside that child's body.. and I fear it may just erupt upon Angel's arrival tonight.  
  
Cordelia, on the other hand, just wished he'd come back.  
  
Soon, a year had passed. Gunn and Faith had gotten married (to each other, of course!). And they were patiently awaiting the arrival of their daughter, little Asiaree Traedor Gunn. And let me tell you, she's a beauty! She'll be breakin' hearts in no time.  
  
But on with the story…  
  
So, anyway, Angel was finally on his way home, back to us, back to Journey, back to Cordelia. We all stayed up that night (well, Cordy, Journey, and me did), waiting to see him. The night wore on and Angel didn't show up. We didn't sleep, watching the sunrise, yet Angel's face we didn't see.  
  
It's been a year, and Angel still hasn't been home.  
  
After we spent that night waiting on him to come home, we grew worried at the thought of what might have happened to him. Cordelia was absolutely hysterical. I didn't think I'd ever get her to calm down. Journey could care less whether Angel ever came home again, so he wasn't too upset by the whole ordeal. We tried to get a hold of him, but we couldn't.  
  
It was two weeks before we found out anything. And that was because we got a postcard in the mail. The front of the postcard showed a rock castle and rolling green hills. On the back, Angel had scrawled, "I'm taking care of unfinished business. Will call soon. Love to all. Angel."  
  
That was it. That was all. No indication of where he was at or how long he'd be there.  
  
But after studying the postcard for a few minutes, we found out that the card was postmarked Limerick. And not Limerick, Maine, like I thought it was. Limerick, Ireland.  
  
Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What the Hades is Angelcakes doing in Ireland, of all places? Oh, you weren't thinking that. Hmm. Well, I was thinking that, anyway.  
  
So, when he called, I asked him.  
  
Of course, I got some lame answer about how he had to connect with his roots or something. Of course, I know the real reason. He just wanted any reason to stay away from his brat of a child, Journey!!  
  
5..4..3..2..1. Okay, I'm sorry. Got a little agitated there. I love Journey, really, I do. He's basically my kid, you know. It's just that.. spending two years with a rebellious, angsty teenager can really fry your nerves.  
  
Anyway… so, to make a long story short, Angel's been in Ireland ever since. And now he's comin' back. Today.  
  
Hopefully, it'll be a happy reunion.  
  
Most likely, it won't.  
  
* * * *  
  
Journey sat on his bed, idly flipping through a magazine. His eyes roamed to the window and he stared at the stars through the black gauze curtain. An idea in mind, he got up and walked out of his room.  
  
In a few minutes time, he was laying on the rooftop, staring up at the big expanse that is the universe. It was always so calm and peaceful up here. He came up here daily now, to have his own little world. Where he was the leader and everything was done his way. He liked that feeling. And plus, it gave him time to think.  
  
He'd only been up there ten minutes when he heard a car door slam and the sound of people talking. He got up and peered over the edge of the building as Cordelia squealed, "Angel!"  
  
Looking over the side, he could see his Dad clearly in the moonlight, surrounded by Lorne, Cordelia, Wesley, Fred, and Gunn. Faith was inside, he knew; inside with Milo, Charlie, and Asiaree. His Dad hadn't appeared to have changed any at all. But of course, he was up thirty feet in the air or more.  
  
After everyone outside had welcomed his Dad, Journey faintly heard him ask, "Where's Journey?"  
  
"And finally, he asks about me," Journey muttered as he backed away from the edge of the Hyperion's roof and slid away, hidden in the darkness.  
  
TBC 


	16. Rebellion, Reunion, and Rebirth

Chapter 16: Rebellion, Reunion, and Rebirth  
  
Journey lay on the rooftop of the Hyperion, staring up into the night sky that hid him so well from view. A spark of light caught his attention and he watched as a shooting star made its way across the sky. Journey kept his eyes on it, until it burned itself out, and disappeared altogether.  
  
"Did you make a wish?" Angel's voice startled him out of his thoughts.  
  
As Angel watched his son, he couldn't believe how much Journey had grown. He had to be at least six feet tall. Angel also realized just how much he'd missed his son these past two years. But had Journey missed him? Lorne had warned Angel that Journey had a "bad attitude" towards him but he figured that Lorne was exaggerating a bit too much.  
  
Journey sighed loudly, not only exasperated but also annoyed. "I was never told to so." He said curtly. "It's not like I have a father or anything."  
  
Angel closed his eyes and winced. The edge in Journey's now deep voice was like a blow to the stomach. Okay, so maybe Lorne wasn't exaggerating. Angel decided to try a different approach.  
  
"I thought you'd be up her."  
  
"Well, lucky you. You found me. Why don't you go downstairs to the kitchen and pour yourself a pint of blood for being such a good boy?"  
  
This was going to be much more difficult than Angel had expected. "Look, Journey. I know you're mad at me—"  
  
"Gone for two years and you come back a mindreader. How fortunate for you. What's next? Are you going to set up a palm reading stand on the side of the road tomorrow?"  
  
Angel bit the inside of his cheek. Hard. He ignored Journey's last comment. "Okay. I get that you're mad at me. I get that. But can't you at least try to be civil? I've missed you. I want to talk to you."  
  
Journey stood up and walked over to the edge of the rooftop. Climbing up on the ledge, he said, "So, talk." Then, Journey began a tightrope-balancing act around the roof.  
  
Angel didn't like seeing Journey so close to the edge, like that. "Journey, please come down from there."  
  
Journey ignored him and kept walking.  
  
"I know you hate me. But I'm still your father. You have to do what I say."  
  
Journey laughed. "I'm sorry. I just found that last line amusing."  
  
Angel was losing his patience. "Journey, let me tell you something---"  
  
"No, let me tell YOU something." Journey stopped walking and faced Angel. "You can't be gone for two years and expect to find things all hearts and flowers when you come back. And you're not my Dad anymore. You lost that privilege the day you left. Because a Dad doesn't leave when things get a little rough, okay? Dads are people who are supposed to be there for you, through thick and thing, through good times and bad. And you're obviously not one of those people."  
  
Angel took a step forward. "Journey, I'm sorry."  
  
Journey shook his head sadly as he inched his way closer and closer to the edge. "It's too late. It's too late." Journey took a step back and fell off the edge of the Hyperion.  
  
"Journey!" Angel yelled as he rushed forward to where Journey had once stood. Fearing the worst, Angel tried to steel his stomach for whatever he was about to see.  
  
He watched as his son fell the some twenty odd feet towards the ground. He felt so helpless as his son's open eyes pierced him with their gaze. There was no way he could help him.. no way to keep him from harm. Angel couldn't watch nor could he turned away. And so, he closed his eyes tight.  
  
He waited for some indication that Journey had hit the ground. But nothing ever did. And so, very slowly, Angel opened his eyes, just in time to see Journey land on his feet and take off running towards the city.  
  
"Journey!!" Angel yelled, loud enough to wake the dead in Sunnydale.  
  
But of course, Journey ignored him, and kept on running.  
  
* * *  
  
Angel walked slowly back downstairs, his head down, defeated. Lorne looked up as he walked into the lobby.  
  
"No luck, Angelkins?"  
  
Angel shook his head. "No."  
  
Lorne nodded. "Ah, well. Give it time, I'm telling you. He'll come around. Someday."  
  
"Gee.. that sounds… hopeful."  
  
"Well, he just feels that you didn't care too much about him since you left him for two years, that's all. It's going to take some time to get through that. Plus, he's a teenager. They're crazy anyway."  
  
"I don't remember acting that way to my fa—" Angel stopped, mid-sentence, remembering. He saw his dad's face, as he yelled into it, spitting and rambling like the drunk he was. Angel looked down. "Never mind."  
  
"So, where is the rebel child? Still on the roof?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh, in his room then.. well—"  
  
"No. Not there either."  
  
"Well, where the Pylea is he? I didn't notice him come down here. Is he in Cordelia's room?"  
  
"He.. jumped off the roof."  
  
Lorne nearly choked on the olive in his martini glass. "You let him jump off the roof?! Where is he now? Dead in the middle of the street?"  
  
Angel gave Lorne a pointed look. "Did someone forget that the child's immortal? Meaning that he can't die?"  
  
"Well, injured in the middle of the street, then. Besides, you knew full well what I meant."  
  
"I don't know where he went." Angel paused, shaking his head. "And at this point, I don't think I much care."  
  
"No, no, no, Angel, dear. You can't just give up on him because he's given up on you. If you do that, you'll just be giving up on yourself. Just keep at it—one day, you'll be the dynamic duo you once was. Trust me."  
  
Angel thought about it. "I guess so. Hmm. So, where's Cordy?"  
  
"Oh, yes, thanks for reminding me. She's been wanting to talk to you. She's in her room."  
  
"You mean, my room?"  
  
"Your room, her room, what difference does it make? It's just a room. From now on, we'll call it the.. uh.. the Angelia room. How does that sound, Angelbaby?"  
  
Angel smiled faintly. "It sounds fine, Lorne. It sounds fine."  
  
* * *  
  
Angel walked back up the stairs to the room that had once been his, and later the room that he and Cordelia shared. The door was open, and Angel could see Cordelia clearly from the door. She seemed to be engrossed in what she was doing, and so he knocked to get her attention.  
  
"Um, Cordelia.. you wanted to see me?"  
  
She looked up and smiled. "Oh, yes." She quickly put away her notebook and pen. "Come on in, Angel. This is your room, you know. You didn't have to knock or anything."  
  
Angel came in. "I know.. but you looked busy and I didn't want to intrude."  
  
"That's okay. You're not intruding." She watched as he came closer towards her and sat down beside her on the bed. "So, I guess you're wondering what I wanted to talk to you about…"  
  
"Kind of."  
  
Cordelia paused. "Okay, well, I guess I'll just cut to the chase. I know that a few years ago, I didn't always believe you on some things. Things that I should have believed you on. And for that, I'm sorry. Really, and truly sorry."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Cordelia." Angel said, dismissively.  
  
"No, wait. There's more." She took a deep breath. "I- I never got to thank you.. you know, for saving me that night. I probably would have died if it hadn't been for you."  
  
She looked into his eyes. "I wish that I would have said this sooner, but we both know that I was a different person two years ago. And so, I'll say it now." She paused. "Thank you, Angel." She reached over and hugged him. And as she pulled away from him, she laid a gentle kiss on his cheek. "You've helped me more times than you'll ever know."  
  
Angel looked at his hands, and then up at her face. He smiled faintly. "You're welcome, Cordelia. I'm just glad that you're okay."  
  
Cordelia nodded, then reached out and impulsively hugged him again. But this time, she held on to him for a little while longer. "I've missed you so much, Angel, you have no idea."  
  
And suddenly, she started crying. Angel instinctively wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Cordelia.. what's wrong?"  
  
For a few minutes, she couldn't say a word. The tears ran down her face like flooded creek beds after a hard rain. Finally, she managed, "I feel so horrible."  
  
"About what?" Angel asked, concerned. "About the past?"  
  
Cordelia drew away from him and nodded. "Ye-yes."  
  
He gently wiped some tears from her face with his thumb. "Oh, Cordy, don't worry. Okay? Just forget about it."  
  
"I can't. I ca-can't forget about it. I acted like.. like a jerk! And you just let me act like that towards you. You didn't act like a jerk back to me or anything." She inhaled a shaky breath.  
  
"I told you that everything's forgiven, Cor. You don't have to keep beating yourself up over it. You made a mistake.. so what? Think of how many mistakes I've made in my lifetime. Okay? You're not nearly as bad off as I am. And thank God for that. We both know we don't need another me hanging around here."  
  
Cordy laughed. "Yeah, I guess that's true." She cheered up for a moment, but the tears came back once more. "But how can I forget about the four years I spent married to some man, that I loved completely, but that didn't love me at all?"  
  
"Oh, Cordelia. Don't even think about him, okay? It's not worth the time or trouble."  
  
"I can't help it! He.. he used me."  
  
"I know, sweetie, I know. But you say that he didn't love you, right? Well, let me tell you something. I know of a few people who loves you and will love you more than Caden ever could."  
  
"Who?" Cordy sobbed.  
  
"I don't know… Lorne.. Journey……" He trailed off. "And me."  
  
She looked at him, the tears shining brightly in her dark eyes. Her face crinkled up. "Oh, Angel."  
  
Angel took one look at her, and scooted back on the bed until he was leaning up against the headboard. Once there, he held out his arms and simply told Cordelia, "Come here."  
  
She moved to where she was resting against him, her head on his chest, the tears still pouring. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, rocking slightly back and forth. "Shh.. shh." He soothed.  
  
He held her, rocking ever so slightly, until the tears stopped flowing and she fell asleep. And he continued holding her, until he closed his eyes from exhaustion, and they were left lying there, together and asleep.  
  
* * *  
  
Angel awoke the next morning alone in his room. He rubbed his eyes sleepily before stretching and getting out of the bed. His neck and back were more than a little sore from his sleeping in an upright position. But nevertheless, he began to walk slowly downstairs, in search of human life.  
  
He passed Journey's room, and found it empty. The clock in his darkened room read 8:25 a.m. He couldn't possibly be up at this hour, and Angel wondered just where he might be. He continued on down the hallway until he reached the stairs.  
  
By the time he set foot in the lobby, he could smell batter-y smell of pancakes and molasses. And he was surprised that he was actually hungry.. for actual food! He shook his head slightly, and followed the breakfast smells into the kitchen.  
  
As soon as he swung the kitchen door, he squinted his eyes at the bright light. Cordelia must have had all the blinds open on the windows at the far end, and Angel instinctively backed away from it. Cordelia saw him, set down the spatula she was wielding and walked over to him.  
  
"'Morning, Angel!" She said cheerily, hugging him.  
  
"How is that you're up at eight a.m.?" He asked, hugging her back.  
  
"I got up to check on Journey, but he wasn't there. I came downstairs, but he wasn't here either. And then, all that walking woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. So, I decided to cook breakfast—" She paused, moving away from him.  
  
Angel frowned, concerned. "Cordelia…"  
  
"Shh.." She said softly, placing a hand on the left side of Angel's chest. She listened for a moment. "Oh, my God."  
  
"Cordelia, what is it? What's wrong?"  
  
Cordelia didn't answer him. She only grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the sunlight.  
  
"Cordy.. Cordy, don't." Angel tried to keep himself from being dragged into the bright, bright rays of the sun. "Vampires and sunshine, don't mix."  
  
"I know that. I'm just trying a little experiment." Cordy continued to pull him in that direction.  
  
"Well, what if I don't want to be your lab rat for this particular experiment?"  
  
"Too bad." Cordelia grunted as she used all her strength to yank Angel in a position in front of the windows. When he didn't immediately burst into flames, she pulled open the door that led to the alley behind the Hyperion. Using the rest of her strength, she managed to shove Angel out into the direct rays of the sun.  
  
Again, he didn't disintegrate and she grinned, realizing what had happened.  
  
"Cordelia, what are trying to do? Kill me?" Angel asked, jumping back into the shadows.  
  
"Don't you get it?" She asked, taking a step towards him. She grabbed his hand and placed it in the middle of his chest. His hand moved up and down with each breath he took.  
  
Angel looked down at his moving chest in alarm. "I'm.. I'm breathing?"  
  
Cordelia nodded. She then took his hand, and moved to the upper left side of his chest. "Do you feel that?"  
  
Angel could feel the thu-thump of his beating heart, pumping blood throughout his body. And he was suddenly very scared.  
  
He nodded. "Cordelia.." He trailed off, shakily.  
  
She smiled at him.  
  
"Angel…. You're human."  
  
TBC 


	17. Sun, Son, and New Experiences

AN: Yo, people! Anyway, welcome to Chapter 17 of "Journey". Sorry for the delay. I've been busy with our spring play.  
  
Anyway, there is a part in this chapter which some might find gross.. but it's not my fault! I put it in there because moanda thought it'd be appropriate! (Ha ha ha, manders!!)  
  
Okay, rock on, people. Or read on.. whatever.  
  
Chapter 17: Sun, Son, and New Experiences  
  
"Wh-what?"  
  
Cordy's grin grew even wider, if that's even possible. "You're human." She laughed, a gloriously happy, melodic laugh. "Human!"  
  
"I.. I am? But.. how do you know?" This was so hard to believe.  
  
"How do I know?" Cordelia laughed again. "Let's see, you're not allergic to the sun anymore, your heart is beating, and you're breathing! Angel, honey, all signs point to human."  
  
He looked at her skeptically, still unable to believe. He looked out at the bright, morning sunlight, from his shady position in the doorway. He then glanced at Cordelia, who nodded and smiled, saying, "Go on."  
  
Angel closed his eyes, his newly beating heart thudding rapidly in his chest, and took a tentative step forward. And then another. And another. He kept walking until he was right in the middle of the alley. The sun beat down on him and warmed his cold body. Angel waited for his body to burst into flames.  
  
But he never did.  
  
Cordelia walked over to him and took his hand. Angel opened his eyes again. He tilted his face towards the shining sun and examined the daytime world around him. The blue sky, the cars passing by, the birds flying overhead.  
  
Cordy squeezed Angel's hand tightly. He turned to look at her beautiful, smiling face. "How do you feel?" She asked.  
  
Angel took in a deep breath. It startled him the way his lungs filled with air like that. It had been so long since he'd been human that everything was frightening to him at this point. "I've never felt so scared in my life." He admitted.  
  
"Don't worry; I'm here to help ya." She laughed. "Oh, Angel, this is going to be so much fun!!" She did a little dance in the alley.  
  
He frowned at her smiling, dancing self. "Fun? How is this going to be fun?"  
  
"'Cause I'm going to humanize you. I'm going to show you all the best foods to eat, take you to the beach, and dress you up like a Ken doll."  
  
"When have you NOT dressed me up like a Ken doll?"  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but this will be different. I can get you shorts and swim trunks." She quickly lifted his shirt to look at his stomach.  
  
"Hey!" Angel protested, pulling his shirt back down.  
  
Cordelia ignored him. "And one of our first visits will be to a tanning bed. You're definitely, definitely white."  
  
"I haven't been in full view of the sun in over 260 years. What do you expect?"  
  
Cordelia shrugged. "Eh, that's no excuse. Now, come on inside. We've got a busy day ahead of us. One that starts out with pancakes." She said, grabbing his hand and pulling him back into the kitchen.  
  
* * *  
  
Angel took yet another enormous bite out of his stack of pancakes. He barely swallowed before exclaiming, "Wow!"  
  
"They're good, right?" Cordelia asked, enjoying her own breakfast across the counter.  
  
"Oh, they're good, all right. They're freakin' awesome!"  
  
Cordelia laughed. "You so just sounded like Journey."  
  
"Well, that's beyond scary."  
  
"I agree. So, how do you propose we tell the others about your newly Shanshu-ed self? They'll all be coming into work soon, you know."  
  
Angel thought for a moment. "I say, we surprise them. It'll be fun, don't you think?"  
  
"Oh, sure. We're going to have a blast!" Cordelia paused, taking a good look at Angel. "You know, I like you better all human-y. You're less broody, more fun."  
  
Angel frowned. "Gee, thanks."  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Shut up. You knew what I meant."  
  
"That's beside the point. Anyway—"  
  
Cordelia suddenly dropped her fork. "Angel!"  
  
Angel looked up suddenly. "What? What is it? What's wrong? A vision?"  
  
Cordy shook her head. "I just thought of something. Are you less fight-y now, because you're no longer a vampire?"  
  
"I, uh.. I don't know. I mean, I hope not."  
  
"Me too." Cordelia picked up her fork. "I don't want you to get hurt." Realizing what she'd just said—aloud, no less!—Cordelia ducked her head shyly.  
  
Angel pretended not to have heard her---for her sake. Inside though, his heart was beating out of control. He paused from eating to lift up his shirtsleeve. "Well, I still have my muscles," he reported. "So, apparently, I'm pretty strong still."  
  
"Hmm. Oh, well. We can worry about that later. Let's finish eating and later we'll think of ways to trick the others."  
  
The door leading to the alley opened and Journey stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He walked over to Cordelia, bending down to kiss her cheek lightly.  
  
"Morning, Cordelia."  
  
"Morning, J." She patted his hand, which was resting on the back of her chair. "Are you hungry?"  
  
"No, not really, Cordy. But thanks for asking. Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Not as well as I could have. I spent half the night worrying about your whereabouts. Where WERE you?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Cordy. I didn't mean to worry you."  
  
Cordy glared at him sternly for a moment and then smiled. "That's all right, sweetie. Just call to let me know where you are next time, okay?"  
  
Angel stood up abruptly, shaking the table and spilling molasses. "No, it's not okay."  
  
Journey glared at him coolly. "So says the deadbeat."  
  
Cordelia winced. "Journey.." She said warningly.  
  
"No. It's okay, Cordy. Let him say what he wants to. He obviously thinks he's an adult and old enough to take care of himself. So he's also old enough to take care of that mouth of his."  
  
"Was that a threat?"  
  
"What do you think?" Angel paused. "Now, where were you last night?"  
  
"None of your business."  
  
"Uh, yeah, it is my business, seeing as how you're still a minor. And while you're still in my home, you'll abide by my rules, no matter how adult you think you are."  
  
Journey seemed to take in what Angel had just said. He looked at his father defiantly. "Well then, I guess I won't be staying in here much longer." And suddenly, Journey was out the door, running down the alley, into the sunlight.  
  
And for once, Angel ran after him.  
  
Journey ran to the street and kept running for three blocks until he ducked into another alleyway. He sat down on the ground and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket, laughing. He started to light it as Angel rounded the corner and found him.  
  
Journey dropped the cigarette.  
  
"Journey!" Angel exclaimed.  
  
Journey looked at him, bewildered. "Dad! What are you doing out? Out here? In the sunlight?"  
  
"Well, son, a few things have changed since you last saw me."  
  
"Being?"  
  
"For one thing, I have a reflection now."  
  
"Well, thank God. Now, you can finally see how yucky your hair and clothes look. Your appearance reflects badly on all of us, Dad."  
  
A hurt look came across Angel's face. He touched his hair sadly. "Do I really look that bad?"  
  
Journey stared at his poor, forlorn looking father for a moment, before rolling his eyes and cracking a smile. "No, Dad, you look fine."  
  
Angel dropped his hand. "So, I look good?"  
  
"Yes, Dad, you look good. Okay? You look wonderful." He paused. "So, what? You're human now? One of us?"  
  
Angel grinned. "One of you." He confirmed.  
  
"Hmm." Journey nodded. "So, what's it like?"  
  
"Being human, I suppose, only just—" Angel made a face, his hands wrapped around his waist. "I don't feel so good."  
  
Journey took a step towards him. "Are you okay?"  
  
"No." His eyes fluttered and he fell to his knees. Suddenly, he yelled in a high-pitched voice. "I'm melting! I'm melting! Oh, what a world! I'm gone--- -lost forever!"  
  
He completed his fall to the ground with a pitiful thump.  
  
And then, he burst out laughing.  
  
Journey knelt beside him, shaking his head. "Dad, you're so lame."  
  
Angel sat up. "Lame? I thought it was funny."  
  
"Well, Newsflash! It wasn't." Journey told him. "Are you okay now? No more spazzing out like a five year old?"  
  
"Hey, I was not spazzing out like a five year old, okay? I was ---"  
  
He clamped a hand over his mouth. "Ugh. I don't feel so good."  
  
"What's wrong now?"  
  
"My tummy feels all weird."  
  
"Well, good Lord, what all were you eating in there?"  
  
Angel tried to remember. "Uh.. pancakes and syrup, and biscuits and gravy and sausage and toast and ---"  
  
Journey frowned, disgusted. "You're sick!"  
  
"I know! I told you my stomach hurt."  
  
"No, Dad. You eating all that food in one sitting is what's sick. Cordelia didn't happen to make all that food, did she?"  
  
"No. We ordered take-out."  
  
"Good." He began to help Angel to his feet. "It's probably just a little indigestion. You'll be fine."  
  
"Are you sure?" Angel asked as Journey bent to dust some of the dirt off his pants.  
  
"Yes, Dad."  
  
"Really? 'Cause I really don't feel too wonderful –"  
  
And before Journey knew it, there was vomit all over his head and shoulders.  
  
He stood up very slowly to face his laughing father.  
  
"Journey, I'm so sorry—"  
  
Journey took in a deep breath. "That was a very five year old thing to do."  
  
"It was an accident. J, you've gotta believe me. Besides, you said I was going to be 'fine'! That's not what I'd call 'fine'!"  
  
Journey glared at him, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides. "Get this off of me NOW."  
  
"Okay, I know of a place. It's a bit of a walk, but –"  
  
"As long as it gets this off of me, I don't care where we're going!"  
  
"Okay." Angel turned and began to walk towards to the back of the alley. "Follow me."  
  
Instead of heading back to the Hyperion, Angel led Journey through the sewers to a deserted area of town where they then walked to a small, private cove area along the coast. Angel took a seat on the beach, in the warm sunshine, while Journey removed his dirty shirt and dove into the ocean.  
  
Ten minutes later, Journey emerged, satisfied that his head was finally clean. Next, he washed his shirt off and laid it out on a rock to dry. Then, he sat down beside Angel on the rocky beach.  
  
After a while of silence, Angel inquired, "Don't you just love the sun?"  
  
"Oh, it's just marvelous. I think.. no, I KNOW that someday, I'm going to marry the sun, since I love it oh so very much."  
  
It grew quiet again and the air was filled with tension. Finally, Angel tried again.  
  
"What happened to us?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, what happened to us? We used to be so close, you know? When you were younger, it was always you and me against the world, against everybody. Where did that go?"  
  
"Maybe it went with you to Sunnydale. And then on to Ireland. Did you just expect me to stay a little kid for the two years you were away."  
  
"No.. we were different before I left. You know that as well as I do."  
  
"But we were salvageable then."  
  
Angel looked over at his son. "And we aren't now?"  
  
"No.. I don't know."  
  
"Can't we ever go back? Can't we try even?"  
  
Journey thought about it. "We can try, I guess. But it's not going to be an easy journey by any means. So you might as well get that through your head right now."  
  
'But it's not going to be any easy journey by any means.' Journey's line reverberated through Angel's head. Somehow, that summed up Angel's entire life as a parent. Not an easy journey at all, raising a kid named Journey. "I understand."  
  
"Are you sure? Cause it could take years."  
  
"Years?!" Journey looked at him and Angel murmured, "I'm sure."  
  
There was another long pause, but this time, the air seemed a little clearer.  
  
And this time, Journey was the first to speak.  
  
"So, now that you're human, are you and Cordy going to get married?"  
  
"Excuse me? Where did THAT come from?"  
  
Journey shrugged. "I thought it was a legitimate question. I mean, when I was younger, you always said that the reason you and Cordy weren't together was because you were a demon. Because you weren't alike. But you are alike now, so.. what's holding you back?"  
  
Angel regarded his son silently for a moment. "No, I'm really wondering where that question came from. Has it been inside your head since forever, just waiting for a chance like this to pop out and surprise your dear old Dad?"  
  
Journey rolled his eyes. "I wasn't trying to give you a heart attack on your first day back or anything. I was just wondering. C'mon.. you know that I always thought of Cordelia as my mother. It—" Journey paused, sifting sand listlessly through his hands, "It always bothered me that you two weren't married, or together even."  
  
"Does this go back to the time those kids called you a liar and shoved you into the dirt on your first day to school?"  
  
Journey looked up and nodded. "I didn't even think you'd remember that."  
  
"Of course I'd remember it. You're my son! And that's the first time, I ever wanted to beat up six-year-olds, too." He and Journey laughed together. "Just because Cordy's not your birth mother, doesn't mean that she's not a mother to you. Because she is, in every aspect of the word. And just because Cordelia and I aren't married, doesn't mean that we love you any less. You're our son, no matter what relationship Cordelia and I have. Okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
They lapsed into silence again. But this time, it wasn't awkward in any way. It was peaceful and right.  
  
Almost thirty minutes went by, with father and son laying side by side on the beach, when Journey spoke to his father, without even turning to look at him.  
  
"Don't you just love the sun?"  
  
TBC  
  
Author's Note: Just to let you know that there are only 3 chapters left.. and maybe an epilogue(it depends on how I end the last chapter). So, it's not long now! Thanks to all the readers who've kept up with this story from the beginning. You guys so rock! :) Actually, you're "freakin' awesome" !! 


	18. Seventeen, Falling Fast, and the Honeymo...

A/N: Okay, just so you know, those aren't spelling errors in Asiaree's dialogue. She's three years old, and she has a little trouble with her r's. :)  
  
Chapter 18: Seventeen, Falling Fast, and the Honeymooners  
  
One Year Later  
  
"Okay. I'm going to ask her."  
  
"All right!" Journey yelled excitedly. Then, catching himself, he calmed down, adding, "Why, Dad, I think that's an excellent idea."  
  
Angel stopped pacing to look at his son. "You think so? 'Cause I'm not all that sure—"  
  
"Da-ad! Come on! You know it's a great idea. Plus, it's only a dream come true for the both of us. My mom and dad will finally be married! And besides, you've been in love with Cordelia since – well, most likely since before I was even born. Okay? So, basically, it's about damn time."  
  
"Journey," Angel said, sighing, "What have I told you about—"  
  
Journey shook his head. "Cool it, Dad. I'm going to be 18 later this year, okay? So, I think I can pretty much say what I want to."  
  
Angel rolled his eyes. "Okay, you know at this point, I don't even care. I'm not going to argue with you about it."  
  
"Good! Finally after 16 years, you realize that arguing with me is like arguing with a brick wall."  
  
"You know, those Powers decide to send me one miracle in all my years and it just has to be you." Angel took one look at Journey and shook his head. "If I ever meet these powers, I'm gonna ask them for a refund."  
  
"Whatever." Journey paused. "So.. when? When are you going to ask her?"  
  
"Tonight.. I think."  
  
"Oh, this is exciting! Do you have a ring already?"  
  
"Yes. It's just this." He held up a modest gold band with a diamond set in the middle surrounded by four tiny emeralds.  
  
"Just this?! Dad, she'll love it. Trust me. So, what all do you have planned? And please, spare me the X-rated details if there are any."  
  
Angel frowned at his weird son. "Uh… okay. I had planned a moonlit picnic on the rooftop. Do you think that'll work?"  
  
"Oh, sure. It'll be great."  
  
"And don't even think about following us up there."  
  
Journey tried to act offended. "Dad… I'm shocked. How could you even think that I'd do something like that?"  
  
"Journey." Angel said, warningly.  
  
"Okay, okay. Fine. I get ya. I'll stay down here.. or something."  
  
Angel shut his eyes tight and sighed as all his thoughts centered on the night before him. "Oh, Journey, I am so nervous. I feel kind of sick—"  
  
Journey jumped up and headed toward the door. "All right, that's my cue to leave. I will not be thrown-up on again. Once is enough, thank you." Journey opened the door and left his Dad alone, calling out "Good Luck!" behind him.  
  
* * *  
  
Journey made his way slowly downstairs. He was getting so bored lately. He was beginning to consider accepting the full scholarship offer that UCLA had given him 3 years ago when he'd made a 31 on his ACTs and an 1400 combined on his SATs. He'd told himself that he didn't need school. But 3 years later, he was having trouble finding ways to keep himself occupied.  
  
As he came into the lobby, he noticed a pretty girl with long curly brown hair standing in the middle of the room, trying to get little Asiaree to behave.  
  
"Asiaree Traedor Gunn!" The girl reprimanded. "Sit down, now, or I'll call your mom. I swear I will!"  
  
Asiaree cocked her little braided-pigtailed head and stuck her tongue out.  
  
Journey noticed the girl's jaw had dropped and she now placed her hands on her hips. "I'm supposed to be watching you, Asiaree. Which means you are to do as I tell you."  
  
Asiaree frowned at her sitter. But then, she saw Journey as he stepped into the lobby, and her face lit up. She ran to him, her arms open. "Jowney! Jowney!"  
  
He knelt and picked her up, swinging her into the air. He hugged her tight and kissed her chubby cheek. "How's my girl today?"  
  
Asiaree beamed at him. "Fine."  
  
"Fine? Well, that's excellent. You want to do something for me?" Asiaree nodded. "I was looking at my room up there, and I realized that there's a spot on the wall that's totally empty. And I thought to myself, 'Self, do you know what you need up on that wall?'"  
  
Asiaree giggled. "What did he say? What did he say?"  
  
"He said that I need a picture made by Asiaree up there." He looked at her. "So, will you do me a favor? Will you make me a picture for my lonely wall?"  
  
Asiaree nodded and grinned. "I'll color five pickures for you, Jowney."  
  
Journey set her down gently on the floor and Asiaree ran over to her coloring book and crayons.  
  
Journey turned to Asiaree's sitter. "And that, my dear, is how it's done."  
  
"Easy for you to say. She hates me."  
  
"She doesn't hate you."  
  
"Yes, she does."  
  
"Okay, so maybe just a little." They laughed.  
  
"So, where's Gunn and Faith?" Journey asked.  
  
"They went to kill some Slogtorth demon." She paused. "Of course, I think they just fed me that excuse so I wouldn't say no to watching the devil child."  
  
Journey looked at the girl, realizing how truly beautiful she was. She had big brown eyes that peeked out from under long lashes. She had high cheekbones with a cute button nose resting in the middle of her face. She was also tall, but not too tall. She seemed to know about their entire way of life and Journey wondered if he'd ever met her before. 'Of course, you haven't.' He told himself. 'You'd remember a beautiful girl like that, wouldn't you? Unless, of course, you're stupid. Which you've been known to be from time to time.'  
  
Asiaree looked up from coloring. "Hey! I'm thirsty!"  
  
The girl sighed. "And I suppose you want me to do something about that." She started to the kitchen. "Don't move. I'll be right back."  
  
Asiaree waited until her sitter had disappeared around the corner before standing up and moving the left about two feet.  
  
Journey laughed as he watched her. "I've certainly taught you well." He paused. "So, Asia baby, who's that girl? I mean, what's her name?"  
  
Asiaree looked to the kitchen door, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "THAT is stupid, stupid Chawlie." She stuck out her tongue. "She's stupid."  
  
"Really? I had no idea that you felt that way about her." Journey looked towards the kitchen. "So, that's Charlie?" He sighed, thinking about the times when he hated her. Of course, it'd been years since he'd talked to her or even seen her. And now, she didn't seem all that… well, hateable.  
  
Charlie walked back in, holding a juice box for Asiaree. Asiaree pouted.  
  
"I wanted a Coke!" She protested.  
  
"Well, it's this or nothing."  
  
Asiaree took the juice box slowly, frowning. She looked at Journey. "See, I told you she was stupid."  
  
"Asiaree!" Charlie dropped her face in her hands for a moment. "Stop it, okay? Why can't you just pretend to like me? We can just sit here silently, you here, me there. And I'll study for my final exams while you color. Do you think you can do that?"  
  
Asiaree stared at her, before simply replying, "No."  
  
Journey looked back and forth between the two of them. "Hey, I have an idea. How about I go upstairs and find a book for me to read to Asiaree, and when I get back, I'll take her off your hands while you study for your.. finals, is it?"  
  
"Yes. I have to pass them to move on to the eleventh grade." Charlie confirmed.  
  
Journey smiled. "Okay. Will that plan work?" He looked at the two girls, who nodded. "All right, I'll be back in a few minutes. And Asiee, behave for me, okay?" He winked at Asiaree before going upstairs, taking the stairs two at a time.  
  
Charlie watched him go, then turned to Asiaree, smiling. "You know, he's kind of cute."  
  
Asiaree's little face clouded over, and she threw the crayon in her hand at Charlie. "Ouch!" Charlie exclaimed as the crayon hit her in the arm. "What was that for?"  
  
"He is not yours!"  
  
Charlie shook her head. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Jowney! He is not yours. He mine!"  
  
"I didn't say he was mine!"  
  
Asiaree squinted her eyes. "I saws the way you was lookin' at him. He not yours. He mine. MY boyfwiend." She threw another crayon in Charlie's direction.  
  
"Ow!" Charlie held up her hands in surrender. "All right! All right! He's yours. I'm sorry I even looked at him."  
  
"Yeah, you should be sowwy. I could poked your eyes wight out." She held up a crayon menacingly.  
  
"Don't! Please. I need my eyes." Charlie dropped her hands, placing them behind her back. "I promise not to think such thoughts ever again." She crossed fingers on both hands as she said this.  
  
"Good."  
  
"Okay." Journey said, coming back downstairs. "I've decided that we're going to start on the first Harry Potter book. It's a classic, Asiaree, you're gonna love it."  
  
"Will ya use funny voices?" She asked, standing up, leaving her crayons behind.  
  
"Of course, I will." He grinned at her.  
  
"Okay." Charlotte walked over to her books, which were sitting on the lobby desk. "I'll be over there if you need me. The little brat's all yours."  
  
"Shut up, stupid ugly Chawlie."  
  
Charlie looked at little Asiaree, and threw her hands up in the air. "Ugh!"  
  
"Come here, you little tiger." Journey said, picking up the giggling girl. "We're going to read at the top of the stairs. Won't that be fun?"  
  
"But.. my mommy says I can't be on them." She told him as he carried her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "She says I'll fall."  
  
"Nah, I'll protect ya." He set her down gently on the landing at the top of the stairs, then sat down beside her, leaning up against the wall. Placing Asiaree on his lap, he slowly opened the book and began to read.  
  
After a few minutes, he stopped reading, his attention on Charlie. "You know, Asia baby, you should be nicer to her. I mean, what has she done to you?"  
  
"I don't care. I don't like her."  
  
Journey thought back to when he was Asiaree's age. "When I was your age, I didn't like her either." He said, with a laugh. "But that's no excuse for you to treat her like that." He looked at Charlie, pausing for a moment. "She's really pretty…"  
  
Asiaree's jaw dropped and she crossed her arms. "Not you too!"  
  
"Not me what?" Journey asked. "Asia, what's wrong?"  
  
"You can't like Chawlie! It's not fair." She said mournfully.  
  
"What's not fair?"  
  
"I don't want you to like Chawlie. Please don't like her. Please."  
  
He looked at her, not knowing what to say. "Why? Why don't you want me to like Charlie?"  
  
"Just pwomise me that you don't like her." Her deep brown eyes began to water.  
  
"All right, Asiaree, if it means that much to you."  
  
She hugged him as tightly as she could. "Thank you, Jowney."  
  
"Will you tell me someday what the problem is?" She nodded. "Good." He stroked her hair and said softly, "Asiaree?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You know, that no matter who I like, whether it's Charlie or some other girl, you'll always be my girl. No matter what." He looked at her for a moment, then kissed the top of her head gently. Then, he turned his attention back to the book and his reading.  
  
* * *  
  
A few hours later…  
  
Angel was pacing the rooftop, playing with the ring in his hands. Cordelia took a sip of her champagne and laughed. "Angel, come on, sit down, and relax."  
  
"I can't. I'm nervous." He said quickly.  
  
"Nervous? About what?"  
  
He sighed, and then turned towards her. "Cordy, I was wondering…" He got down on one knee and took her hand in his. " I was just wondering… Cordelia, will you marry me?"  
  
He didn't wait for an answer, but continued on. "I know it's all kind of sudden. But, you're the only person I'd ever want to marry. You've stuck with me through good times and bad—"  
  
"Angel.."  
  
"When I was good, when I was evil, throughout Journey's entire life…"  
  
"Angel.."  
  
"And that one time, I almost lost you.. I thought I was going to die. Because without you, I AM lost…"  
  
Cordelia placed her free hand in front of Angel's mouth, quieting him. "Angel, would you let me get a word in once in a while? Don't you want to know what my answer is?" She then used her hands to cup his in hers.  
  
He looked down. "I'm kind of scared too."  
  
"Why, sweetie?"  
  
"Cause you might say no.. and I'm not sure what I'd do. But you might say yes, and then I'll be so happy that if it were three years ago, you would have had to stake me…"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Yes, you would have had to stake me?" Angel asked, confused. "Or yes, you say no? Or yes, you say yes?"  
  
"Yes." Cordy confirmed.  
  
Angel blinked.  
  
"Yes, I say yes." She cocked her head to one side and smiled. "What else would I have said?"  
  
"I don't know." He hugged her and kissed her lips softly. "Oh, Journey will be happy when he hears."  
  
Cordelia looked around. "You mean, he's not up here already?"  
  
"No." Angel sighed. "You've made me the happiest man alive. You know that, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah." Cordy replied nonchalantly. "I just have that effect on people."  
  
Angel smiled. "So, now what do we do?"  
  
"We get married, you idiot!" Cordy paused. "Hey, wait! I have an idea!! If you're up for it, anyway."  
  
  
  
"As long as you're by my side, I'm up for it."  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
"By the power invested in me by the state of Nevada, as well as the Wee Kirk o' the Heather Wedding Chapel, I now pronounce you, husband and wife." The elderly minister smiled at them kindly. "You may now kiss the bride."  
  
  
  
He leaned in, whispering as his lips moved to hers. "Are you sure we did the right thing?"  
  
  
  
"Oh, yeah, I'm sure."  
  
  
  
Their lips met and they kissed. But this time, it was different. Because now, they weren't only dating. They….. were married.  
  
  
  
TBC 


	19. The Lost Chapter

A/N: Okay, it's been a really long time since I've written anything on this. Probably all the old fans of it think I've dropped off the face of the earth. Well, I haven't! I'm still here. Just full of writer's block since, June 2002! Anyway, sorry. But here's like a 9 pager so, hopefully that'll make up for it? Maybe? Sorry for the delay!  
  
Feedback is a must!  
  
Journey Chapter 19 "The Lost Chapter"  
  
Several Years Later  
  
"Stop it! Just stop it already!" Charlotte Wyndham-Pryce screamed at her fiancé, as she paced before him.  
  
"I will not stop, because I've yet to do anything wrong!" Journey yelled back from where he was lying on the bed. "You stop!"  
  
Charlie squeezed her eyes shut. "You know, you're absolutely impossible to be around when you get this way."  
  
"Impossible to be around?" He sat up quickly. "Impossible to be around? Well, you know what? If I'm so impossible to be around, maybe you should leave!"  
  
She stopped pacing to look at him. After a moment's pause, she nodded. "Okay. I will." She turned and stomped her way to the door, slamming it behind her. He knew she was standing there, just outside the door, though she'd tried to make it seem as if she'd truly left him. She even went as far as to pretend to stomp her way down the stairs. Journey shook his head.  
  
"I'm not coming after you! You can wait out there all day if you want to, but I'm not going to come after you."  
  
She opened the door enough to stick her head inside. "You know.. you suck."  
  
He smirked. "Okay.. I suck? I think you have that backwards, sweetie."  
  
She glared at him. "I can't believe you!" She yelled as she re-entered the room. "You are a Class A Jerk, you know that?" She told him as she started pacing again. Journey was sure, that by the end of the day, there was going to be whole in the floor from all her pacing.  
  
Journey sighed. "Charlie-"  
  
"Don't 'Charlie' me, cheater boy! I am no where near done yet." She shook her head. "I mean, I just don't understand it. First you tell me you love me, that I'm the only one for you. You beg me to marry you-"  
  
Journey shook his head. "Hey.. I-I didn't beg you."  
  
"And now you're cheating on me and acting like a jerk? So, am I to assume that everything you previously said to me was a lie?"  
  
"Well, you know what they say when you assume-"  
  
"Always such a smart ass." She said bitterly. "I mean, you're not even taking this seriously."  
  
"Yes, I am. Taking this seriously." He rolled his eyes.  
  
"Oh, whatever. Don't you EVEN give me that crap."  
  
"What crap?"  
  
"That, 'Oh, I'm such an innocent little boy' act. We both know you're not innocent. Or just a boy."  
  
Journey lowered his head and sighed. After a few minutes he asked, "What do you want from me?"  
  
"I want you to tell me the truth. I want you to apologize."  
  
"Charlie, I told you the truth twenty minutes ago when you asked me the first time. You refused to believe me, which led to a shouting match, which led to you leaving the room, then re-entering the room, and beginning the fight all over again. Now, do you want the truth? Or do you want what you want to hear?"  
  
"I want to hear the truth." Charlie told him as she came to a stop in front of him.  
  
He looked her straight in the eyes. "There's nothing to tell you, Charlie, because nothing happened."  
  
"Ugh!" She groaned, backing away and resuming her pacing. "Sure, okay! So everything my brother told me was a complete and total lie?!"  
  
"Oh. Okay, I see. So, Milo told you this?" Journey asked, standing up. "Is that the same brother Milo that hates me? Or is this a different one?"  
  
"He doesn't hate you. He just disagrees with you."  
  
"Yeah, disagrees with me enough to LIE about me."  
  
"Okay, you know what? I'm tired of hearing you slam my brother. As of now, we are officially separated. When you decide that you want to tell the truth, you know where to call."  
  
"Hey, give me my ring back."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me."  
  
She glared at him. "Fine. " She slid the platinum ring off her finger and threw it at him. He grabbed it and shoved it in his pocket. Then, with one last look at him, she stalked out the open door and slammed it very loudly behind her.  
  
Journey sat there on his bed, listening to her footsteps as she stomped down the stairs. "She can leave for all I care. She can leave and never come back."  
  
Five seconds later, he was up and running after her.  
  
----  
  
"I am so not joking, young man." Cordelia told her son as she shifted toddler Ava in her arms. "All I want is for you to sit there and be quiet. And if you ask me one more time---"  
  
"But Mom!" 7-year-old Dylan interrupted.  
  
"No, buts! I've got to put Ava down for a nap and I can't do that with you bothering me every five seconds."  
  
Ava grabbed a lock of her mother's dark hair. "No nap!" She declared giggling.  
  
Cordelia pried her hair free. "Yes, nap." Turning back to Dylan, she added, "I'm not telling you again, all right? Just---"  
  
"Mo-om! Kyler is waiting for me to come over and spend the night!"  
  
"Dylan Patrick Chase! Enough! When your dad gets home, he can take you."  
  
"I can walk, thank you very much."  
  
"No, you very much can't! There is no way I'd let you walk through the streets of Los Angeles alone."  
  
"Who said anything about taking streets?" Dylan asked.  
  
Cordelia let out an exasperated sigh. "Oookay. You're totally misunderstanding the whole parent-child relationship. I say 'no', which means 'no', when means 'you'll do what I say or I'll bust your butt.' Any questions?"  
  
Dylan glared back defiantly.  
  
"None? Good. Now, I suggest you park your butt somewhere and be quiet. Play with Ollie and Jakers or something."  
  
He scowled. "I don't think so." He cast a disgusted look at his twin brother, Oliver. "Maybe in some alternate universe. I'll be outside until Dad gets home." And with that, he headed for the door.  
  
Cordelia watched him go, shaking her head. "Stay in the yard, okay?" She yelled after him. "I mean it!" Turning to her son, Oliver, she sighed. "I'm sorry about what he said, Ollie."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Mom." Oliver said, calmly petting his seeing-eye dog, Jake. "I don't hold it against him. I probably wouldn't want to play with a blind kid either, if I were him."  
  
"But he's your brother." Cordelia stressed. "He shouldn't act like that."  
  
"It's okay, Mom. Really." Oliver told her. "He'll grow out of hit someday."  
  
"I used to think that, but these days, Ollie, I just don't know." Cordelia fretted. "I'm beginning to think he never will."  
  
"He will, Mom. Trust me."  
  
"How can you be so sure?"  
  
"I don't know. I just do." He paused. "Perhaps you'd better give Ava to me before you drop her."  
  
Cordelia frowned. "What are you talking about? I'm not going to dr-" A vision slammed into her skull and she suddenly realized just why she might drop her baby girl. She quickly closed the distance between them. "I'll be right back," she told him, as she handed him her sister.  
  
Oliver shook his head as he settled Ava on his lap. "Take your time. We've got everything under control. Don't we, Ava?"  
  
A tear trickled down Cordelia's cheek as she slowly backed away. "Thank you." She whispered before running out of sight and earshot.  
  
Oliver sighed sadly; grateful once again that he was blind, just so he couldn't see his mother cry. He softly stroked Ava's hair. "Oh, Ava. Why can't Dylan at least be civil to everyone? He upsets Mommy so much, doesn't he?"  
  
Ava nodded. "Yep, yep!"  
  
"Yeah, I think so too." He kissed the top of her head. "Okay. Well, let's learn something today." He gingerly picked her chubby hand and moved it to where it was covering one of his eyes.  
  
"Peek boo!" Ava giggled.  
  
Oliver smiled, and his vision-less eyes lit up. "No, not peek-a-boo, silly. Eye. Can you say 'eye'?"  
  
"No," Ava told him as she shook her head.  
  
"It's all right. You'll learn. Anyway, you have eyes, too." He moved her hands to cover her own eyes. "See? Eyes. You see the world through your eyes."  
  
Ava stood up and leaned in real close to Oliver's face until their noses were touching. She patted the area around his eyes. "Ollie no eyes?" She asked.  
  
"Ollie has eyes. They just don't work like Ava's does."  
  
She tried to kiss his cheek, but mostly just slobbered on him. "I sorry. Ollie sad?"  
  
"No, Ollie's not sad."  
  
Ava reached for his hand. "Here." She shoved his hand onto her tiny eyes. "For you."  
  
"Thanks, but that's okay. Keep them. You'll need them."  
  
Suddenly they heard two pairs of feet running down the stairs.  
  
"Char! Charlotte! Wait! Don't go, please!" Journey called as he hurried after her.  
  
"Stay away from me! I'm sure you have some other girl on the side you can date."  
  
The door slammed once. Then twice.  
  
"Uh-oh!"  
  
Oliver nodded his head. "Uh-oh's right."  
  
---  
  
"Charlie! Will you stop and listen to me?"  
  
Charlotte walked even faster, her long brown hair swaying quickly from side to side. "No, no. Don't let my leaving interrupt your scheming time. I'm sure you have another girl all lined up." She told him, climbing into her car and making it roar to life.  
  
"Charlotte, at least let me try to explain."  
  
"Don't waste your breath." She said, throwing the vehicle into reverse. "Instead, hold your breath until the someday that I decide to call you."  
  
And there she left him, with a squeal of tires and a roaring of the engine.  
  
"Dammit!" Journey exhaled loudly as he watched her drive out of sight. After a few minutes, he turned slowly and headed back up the walk.  
  
"Is there a problem?" Dylan asked from his position on the concrete rock bench in front of the hotel.  
  
Journey stopped abruptly and looked over at his younger brother. "No, no problem, " he said, walking over to join him. "Just crap, that's all." He paused. "So, what are you doing out here?"  
  
"Waiting for dad to get home."  
  
"Oh, yeah? Well, from what I understand, he may be awhile. So if it's anything I'd be able to help with---"  
  
"Mom won't take me to Kyler's. She won't even let me walk over there. By the time dad gets home, it'll be 20 years from now." Dylan shook his head. "Moms are so stupid."  
  
Journey laughed. "They're not so stupid. They're just looking out for you. Mom doesn't want anything bad to happen to you."  
  
"Well, I could at least take the sewers and get there-"  
  
"No sewers. What if you got hurt down there? It could be days before anyone found you."  
  
"I guess. But dad does it all the time."  
  
"Yeah, well, Dad's-"  
  
"I know. I know." Dylan interrupted. "Dad's dad."  
  
"Yes, he is. And Dad can take care of himself." Journey explained.  
  
"So can I!" Dylan protested. "Everyone assumes that just because Ollie's disabled that I'm disabled too."  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa.. hold on there. Ollie's not disabled."  
  
"UH, yeah, he is."  
  
"Oh, yeah. How so?"  
  
Dylan looked at him incredulously. "HELLO! He's blind!"  
  
"And that makes him disabled. Answer me this: Oliver leads a very normal life, wouldn't you say?"  
  
Dylan thought about it. "Yeah, I guess. Except for the fact that he's blind and everything."  
  
"In my vocabulary, someone who's disabled is disabled because something beyond their control inhibits them from living life to the fullest. Ollie could take this lying down. But he doesn't. Therefore, he's not disabled." Journey paused. "Just because he can't see, doesn't mean he can't see what's going on. Ever played board games with that kid? He's beat me at chess for at least the last three years!"  
  
"What exactly are you trying to tell me, J?"  
  
"All I'm saying is be patient and obey your mother. And also be nice to your brother. No one will ever know you as well as he does." Journey looked up at the sky. "Now, go get ready and I'll take you to Kyler's."  
  
Dylan grinned. "Thanks, Journey! I'll be ready in five minutes."  
  
Journey smiled at him as he ran excitedly into the house. "Ookay! One crisis averted."  
  
As he walked slowly back into the Hyperion, Journey heard Cordelia calling his name.  
  
"Where are you?" He asked loudly, stepping into the lobby. He noticed Ava and Oliver playing on the floor with Jake. "Where is she?"  
  
"Basement." Oliver replied quietly.  
  
"Ohhhh." Journey said, sighing. Cordelia in the basement meant vision. Shaking his head, he headed towards the basement and stepped inside. When he'd walked down four of the steps, he reached up and tapped on three certain bricks. A panel slid open, revealing another flight of stairs. He ducked inside the panel and the door quickly closed behind him.  
  
Cordelia's back was towards him as he walked into their secret basement shelter. "Good, you came." She said weakly. "I was afraid you wouldn't hear me."  
  
"I heard you, Cordy. Now what's the problem?"  
  
"Okay.. uh.. someone is going to be kidnapped in the alley where 26th and 15th intersect. By a -" She paused, placing a hand to her head. "A green, scaly, slimey six eyed demon. It's nearly 5 feet tall, and has three legs. It'll take place soon, so go upstairs and find out what we're up against. I'll stay down here in case something comes to me in one of those 'aftershock' visions."  
  
Journey nodded. "I'll get right on it."  
  
He headed upstairs and into Wesley's office. After picking up a few heavy books off the shelves, he plopped himself down in Wesley's desk chair. He flipped idly through the first book in the stack, trying to find anything pertinent to their demon. Finally, he gave up, and pushed to book aside. He leaned back in his chair as he pulled out the ring from his pocket and held it up to the light. The light floated through it, casting a shimmering of lights across the room. He twirled the platinum ring gently in his hand. He remembered buying it for her.. remembered how he felt when he bought it. Like no other girl would ever mean as much. But it was hard to feel that way now, when she was always accusing you of cheating every other week. He sighed. It was getting tiring. Maybe the separation was a good thing.  
  
The office door flew open, and Dylan stood in the doorway. "Ready!" He beamed.  
  
'Crap.' Journey thought. "Uh, Dylan, there's been a change in plans."  
  
Dylan's face fell. "Let me guess. you can't take me either."  
  
"I can take you.. it'll just be a while. Mom had a vision.. I have to help her out. You know how it is."  
  
Dylan looked at him for a minute, then nodded. "Sure. I know how it is." He said in a hollow voice. "I'll just be waiting outside."  
  
"As soon as I find out the specs, we can go, okay? Just give me thirty minutes."  
  
Dylan nodded, and left the room.  
  
Journey sighed, put the ring away, and went back to researching.  
  
--- "They're really starting to make me mad. Stupid family. They don't care. No one cares about me. It's always Oliver this. Or Ava that. Or let's help this person. Never pay any attention to Dylan."  
  
Dylan kicked at the dirt with his shoe. "I could be at Kyler's house right now, playing that new video game. But, nooooooo. I'm stuck here, in dullsville. Left with blind deaf retard brother and a baby brat for a sister. Waiting on someone to walk me over there because I'm just a big loser baby to the rest of them."  
  
He walked slowly in a circle, trying to think of some way to occupy himself for the next thirty minutes.. or longer.  
  
"You know.. if I waited on Journey, I may never get to Kyler's today. Everyone else is inside.. I bet I can just sneak over there and no one will know. And then they'll think I've run away! And then they'll have to think about me for once."  
  
He ran inside and grabbed his things. The only one to see him leave with all his things was Ava, and she didn't know enough words to tell anyone anything. "Man! I should have thought of this sooner!"  
  
TBC (Maybe) 


End file.
